


I Would Totally Kick Jiraiya's Butt

by Chemical_Magecraft



Category: Naruto
Genre: Adopted Uzumaki Naruto, But Seriously Fuck Jiraiya, Everyone Is Overpowered, Fuinjutsu, Gen, Kekkei Genkai | Bloodline Limit, Multiple Selves, Original Kekkei Genkai, Red Chakra, Reincarnation-type Self Insert, SI, Sage Mode (Naruto), Self-Insert, So Much Future Knowledge, Tenten Gets a Backstory, Tenten and Naruto are Siblings, Tenten is an Uzumaki, Trust Me Everyone Gets Very Awesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-01-07 13:50:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 67,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21217769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chemical_Magecraft/pseuds/Chemical_Magecraft
Summary: I wonder what would happen if one were to place someone fixated enough with magic-like powers as to stay up the whole night watching Naruto into a village of ninja and grant them a mysterious and unique power or two? Plus least I get to beat some sense into Jiraiya. Rated T because ninja work is bloody work.Edit: Is dead. Go check Foresight is 20/20 if you want the ongoing version.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back from college hell with my other fanfic. Will post other chapters later. Enjoy!

The village was devastated. So many of the buildings were smashed, and so many people had lost their lives to the Kyubi. Entire squads of ninja were needed to sift through the wreckage for any survivors. It is with two of these ninja that our story starts. "This destruction..." one ninja said. "It's unreal... How could this happen?"

"The nine-tailed demon fox," the other ninja replied brusquely. "That damned fox killed people by stepping on them. What else would happen when it went on a rampage? Now come on, we need to clear this whole sector in an hour."

"Do you hear that?" the first ninja asked. The second ninja stopped talking and listened for a bit.

"Is that... a baby crying?" he said. They both hurried to where the sound seemed to be coming from. A ray of light pierced the clouds to fall down on a blanket on top of a large piece of rubble. One of the ninja lifted up the blanket to reveal... a log. The other ninja rolled his eyes and picked up the baby lying on another piece of rubble. The child, a boy, couldn't have been more than a few months old. He had a thick head of brown hair and dark marks under his eyes. The ninja rocked the baby, and he stopped crying. He opened his hazel eyes and cooed at the sight of the man. "Found the baby. Let's take him to the other survivors. Hopefully one of the survivors is looking for him."

"And if not?"

"Then the kid's going to be in for a rough childhood."

"Well just in case, let's give him a name."

"Kouki." (Koh-key. Has kanji for either light or happiness and either light or hope)

"Why?"

"If he needs the name, then he's gonna need what it means more."

kukukuku~

I plopped down on my bed and groaned. One moment I was writing the assignment thinking about how I would totally beat up Jiraiya if I was in Naruto and in the next three years had passed and I was a small child in a Konohagakure orphanage. I immediately recognized this as the start of a self-insert fanfiction because I know myself. "Really, Me?" I asked. "You just _had_ to write an SI." If I'm going to be doing this, I'm _sooo_ going to fourth-wall break. "You'd better give me a good reason for knowing the future so I don't get thrown in an insane asylum." I paused. "Does Konoha even _have_ insane asylums? Thinking about it, they don't really seem to have any form of psychological therapy, what with how _nobody_ helped any of the various orphans in Naruto. Or Hinata, for that matter. Where was I again? Oh, right! I could also use a way to refresh myself on the timing of things, Me." I licked my lips. "Well," I said, "seems that habit followed me here. I should probably cut down on it or people might think I'm the secret child of Orochimaru and... I don't know, Tsuyu Asui?" I thought about that for a moment and groaned again. "Thanks for that mental image, brain. That was almost as bad as that one horrible dream I had where Naruto and Jiraiya were..." I trailed off, screamed, stood up, and walked to the nearest wall, which I immediately started banging my head on. As I did that, an older orphan came in the room.

"What are you doing?" he asked me.

"Punishing my brain," I stopped to answer.

"Why?"

"Because it needs to be punished."

"O...kay... just... don't hurt yourself?" He walked away, muttering, "Weirdo."

Once I decided that my brain had been punished enough (I took the headache as a sign of surrender), I plopped back down on my bed. "What now?" I said to myself. A leaf drifted through an open window and landed on my forehead. It was at this moment that I realized that I somehow knew how to mold and use chakra to some degree as if it was instinctual. "Plus ultra, I guess." I started channeling chakra into the leaf on my forehead, hoping that I was doing the chakra exercise right.

kukukuku~

I collapsed, water splashing slightly as I fell on its surface. It had been a little over a month and my complete and utter lack of a life had served me well in my quest for power. I'd managed to slip off to a secluded area of woods with a lazy and shallow river where I'd spent a great deal of time mercilessly training myself in the ways of sticking leaves to myself, only stopping for a rest and snack break when I started to get tired. At first, I couldn't do too much because, as a child of a little over three years, my chakra reserves were limited (though I think that my reserves were also higher than they should have been due to me having the mental energy of a teenager). Of course, practice makes perfect, so I soon found myself able to use more chakra at once. Once I could hold multiple leaves on multiple parts of my body simultaneously for a few seconds, I upgraded to tree climbing. While I didn't have any kunai to mark my progress, I'd figured out how to channel chakra through my fingernails to leave small scratches in the bark without harming my nails, which I ended up calling Cat Claws Jutsu. Once I was able to walk up trees like I was walking on the ground and also stick leaves to myself while doing it, I took a day for rest (chakra exhaustion sucks) and then started on water walking. That... that involved much more getting wet than I'd like to admit... Eventually, however, I'd managed to get water walking down pat and included leaves in it as well, which is what I had just finished at that point. I got up, figuring that laying down on the water is probably a bad idea, and got to solid ground before plopping down on the grass. As I did, the leaves that had been clinging to my skin fell off. I pulled out the apple I'd brought as a snack. Mmm, fuji apples. When I was done devouring the fruit, I licked my lips, wrapped the core in the napkin I'd stored it in, and lay there for a bit. I breathed in the nice, Springy air. So far as I knew, the Land of Fire was constantly warm, which is how it got its name. I certainly wasn't complaining; I like it hot. Once I'd caught my breath and had time to rest, I picked up one of the leaves I'd been using for training. "Time for some advanced training," I said. I sandwiched the leaf between my palms, closed my eyes, and focused. "_Two fronts grinding against each other,_" I thought. _Snip_. I opened my hands, revealing that the leaf had developed a small cut on it, as if someone had cut it with a pair of scissors. "It's a start," I said.

kukukuku~

When I started with wind chakra, I decided to start doing light exercise not related to chakra. I didn't want to do too much because I had once heard something about lifting weights as a child stunting growth or something. It probably wasn't as big of a problem in a world where _Rock friggin Lee_ can exist, but I still wanted to be careful. I just did some light jogging (while collecting and attempting to cut leaves), sit-ups (while attempting to cut leaves), and push-ups (fun fact: it is very hard to cut leaves with wind chakra while doing push-ups, but not impossible). It was on a jog around the playground near the orphanage that everyone played in that I saw him. A blonde boy with markings on his cheeks sitting alone by a tree. All of the other kids were ignoring him. I distantly remembered a time when one of the adults from the orphanage took us all aside and told us that he was a demon and we shouldn't play with him. It was before my past life memories came in... or however that worked... but now it made it all the more real what Naruto went through. I was already going to try to befriend Naruto, but now I _really_ wanted to do something. I walked over to the other side of the tree Naruto was sitting at and looked around to see if anyone was looking. When I saw that nobody was, I muttered "Cat Claws Jutsu" and started using my claws to get a good grip on the tree. I could have just used the regular tree walking, but I was trying to be discreet so as to not have people asking why I knew ninja techniques. I did, however, use the tree walking to grip with my feet. Once I was situated on a branch above Naruto, I looked around to see if anyone was looking. It seemed not. Apparently, tree-climbing in a ninja village full of trees that was founded by a tree-man is a very uninteresting sight. Who knew? I licked my lips, took a deep breath, and said, "Hi, there," to him. When he looked up, I gave a small but friendly smile and waved. "My name's Kouki, what's yours?" I mean, I already knew his name, but it's not like I could tell him that.

He sniffed and said "Naruto." I noticed that his eyes were all red (not Kyuubi red, irritated red) and puffy. "Why are you here?"

I jumped down, using a light burst of wind chakra to cushion my fall, and said, "Everybody avoids you, so I felt like you might want somebody to play with." I sat down next to him. "People avoid me, too. I think it's because I don't talk to people much, look like I'm really bored most of the time, and have really freaky eye markings." For whatever reason, I had black markings with a white dot under and offset to the outer side of each eye, which in real life was just permanent dark shadows under my eyes and... what were they, freckles? Beauty marks? I had dot markings under each eye. I guess author me's basis for that was the fact that several people in Naruto had what appeared to be biological, and in some cases hereditary, markings not directly related to being the prison for a demonic monster. For example, the Inuzukas, the Akimichi, Jiraiyass, Orochimaru, and the second and third Hokages. "I'm fine with being alone, but I had a feeling you aren't. Wanna be friends?"

He gasped, then gave me a bright smile. His eyes began to water and he gave me a hug. I patted him on the back and just let him hug it out. When he was done, he asked, "What do friends do?"

"I... don't know. I guess maybe I show you something cool?"

"Like what?" I pulled a leaf from my pocket and cut it in half. He gasped. "Cool! How'd you do that?"

"When I grow up, I wanna be a ninja. I managed to find out how to do some stuff with chakra. That's apparently an advanced technique that grants you wind powers."

He looked confused at that. "How does cutting a leaf give you wind powers?"

"It's more like it's the easiest use of wind chakra or something. Doing it lets you practice wind chakra so you can do more advanced stuff."

He beamed at me. "Can you teach me?"

I smiled and said, "There were a lot of steps involved in learning how to do it. I had to do a bunch of other special exercises before I could do it." He pouted. "Buuut, if you do exactly what I tell you and don't question it, I can teach you some cool stuff." He nodded vigorously.

"I'm gonna be Hokage someday! Knowing how to use chakra stuff would be great!" I smiled. The was no doubt in his words. It was as if he already knew he would be Hokage, and the world just had to catch up.

I bowed. "Very well, then, Hokage-sama. Let the training montage begin."

kukukuku~

"Whoa!" Naruto said. He was staring at the small tree that I had just felled with a few quick swipes.

"That's what I can teach you," I said with a smug grin as I put my hands in my pockets. "Before that, though, I have some rules that I have for you. First, I don't think that non-ninja are supposed to use jutsu in public, so please don't do stuff like this until you're in the academy at least. Second, even when you _do_ use chakra, please be careful with it." I kicked the tree that I'd just killed. "You can do some serious damage. Third, if you start to feel tired, stop using your chakra unless you absolutely have to. It's a combination of mental and physical energy, meaning it uses your life force. You do the math. Got that?" He nodded eagerly. "Good. Now, for your first task," I picked a leaf off of the tree and gave it to him, "use chakra to stick this leaf to your body."

Naruto groaned. "That's so boring!"

I narrowed my eyes and said, "I told you to do exactly what I say. This is a chakra exercise. It lets you practice in the use of chakra. It's just the first step in what I have to teach you." I walked up a nearby tree. "Get good enough with it and I get to teach you the next trick." I looked at him expectantly. He stared at the leaf, then placed it on the palm of his hand. He then channeled enough chakra into it that it started glowing blue slightly. He flipped his palm over so that the leaf should've fallen over, but it didn't. I dropped to the ground and inspected the leaf. It was a little unsteady, but holding. I guess he was having an easier time controlling his chakra because he hadn't yet developed _stupid_ amounts of it. "Rein it in slightly. Other than that, it seems fine. I'm going to do my stuff. Once you think you're good with one, add another. Do that until I say you're ready."

kukukuku~

"You're ready," I told him with a laugh a few days later. His arms were covered in leaves. "Take a little break and I'll teach you the next step."

kukukuku~

It continued like that for a while. I don't know how long it lasted for, but by the time Naruto started with leaf cutting, I saw... was he the Raikage? The one guy who Hiashi Hyuuga called the head ninja of Kumogakure when he was talking about the incident with Hinata's kidnapping. I saw that jerk walking down the streets. I managed to find out from a nearby villager that it was December 27th, Hinata's birthday, and he was going to sign the peace treaty with Konoha. I decided that I would help stop the incident in whatever way I could, seeing as that was pretty much where everything started to go wrong in Hinata's life and I could hopefully stop it. I was thinking about how I could sneak my way into the Hyuuga compound when I got a splitting headache and a tingly feeling in my eyeballs. When I opened my eyes, I could see... myself sneaking into the compound and finding the Raikage in Hinata's room. It was like that one hint stone in Skyward Sword, where you could see a cutscene of what you had to do, except really trippy because it was in real life. I looked in the general direction of the fourth wall and said, "Well that's a deus ex machina and a half, Me. Thanks, I'll make good use of the intel." I quickly found Naruto, told him that I had to do something and that he should continue with the leaf-cutting practice until I got back. He was making decent progress with it. His leaves were already cut almost halfway through. I then began with the path that I'd seen. When I finally managed to sneak in, it was already dark. I went to the spot on the fence I'd seen myself brooding in the vision when I saw the enemy in my vision. Thankfully, I was just in time to see the man dressed in all black sneak up to Hinata's room. I licked my lips as I thought for a second about what I could do, but quickly decided with a silent "_Screw it."_ "HYUUGA HIASHI!" I screamed. "A MASKED MAN IS TRYING TO KIDNAP YOUR DAUGHTER! MAKE SURE TO CAPTURE HIM ALIVE, THOUGH, OR HIS VILLAGE WILL DEMAND YOUR HEAD OR START A WAR!"

"WHAT!?" a man who I assume was Hiashi screamed.

"I SAID THAT A MAN IS TRYING TO KIDNAP YOUR DAUGHTER! PROBABLY FOR HER EYES! AND IF YOU KILL HIM HIS VILLAGE WILL DEMAND YOUR CORPSE FOR YOUR EYES! PLEASE HURRY! I'M PRETTY SURE HE'S ABOUT TO KILL ME FOR RUINING HIS PLANS AND I DON'T FEEL LIKE DYING SO SOON!" As I was shouting at him, the masked man came out and started making a few hand seals. I jumped off of the fence and made a single seal of my own (dragon seal, the only one I knew) and started molding wind chakra.

"Lightning Release: Lightning Shot!" He shot a bolt of lightning chakra out of his hand at me.

"Wind Release: Mini Air Slashes!" I countered by making small slashing motions with my index fingers. Small blades of air spawned from my fingers and rammed straight into the lightning. After most of the slashes dissipated while expending some of the lightning, the remaining one cut straight through the weakened jutsu and cut slightly into his chest. I breathed a sigh of relief and licked my lips. That wouldn't have worked if he hadn't underestimated me, though to be fair not many small children can make air slashes, whatever the size. I dashed in close to him and activated my other wind jutsu. "Wind Release: Dragon Claws." Before I could attack him, I saw him punch me in the chest, but... he hadn't punched me yet. His fist came at me and I ducked away from it. As I dodged I swiped at his leg, hoping that I could distract him if I made enough cuts. What really happened... it was both better and worse than I was hoping for...

_Squelch._ "GYAAAAH!" the man screamed as blood spouted everywhere. I stopped in my tracks. Even in the dim light, I definitely saw his leg fall off.

"What?" I turned around to see several Hyuuga ninja staring at me. I made to answer but was suddenly overtaken by a wave of fatigue and dizziness. Chakra exhaustion. "How did you get here? How did you _do_ that?" The ninja in the lead, Hiashi, asked me.

I just barely managed to grin and say, "I don't suppose you'd believe me if I said I could see the future?" before my eyes rolled back in my head and I passed out.

I guess the first chapter ends with a cliffhanger...


	2. Chapter 2

I don't know how long I was out for. When I first came to, my head felt even fuzzier than it normally does when I wake up. "He's up," a voice said when my eyes opened a bit. I saw that I was probably in a hospital, then groaned and went back to sleep.

kukukuku~

I groaned again. Did I mention how much I hate mornings? Because I hate mornings. "Kouki-kun," some old guy said.

"Ten more minutes," I mumbled, my eyes still closed.

"I'm not surprised he's tired," someone else said. His voice sounded familiar. "Multiple C-class wind jutsu, one A-class jutsu, and using an unknown dōjutsu for an unknown period of time... how does he have those kinds of reserves at his age? Even with the enhanced reserves that a Kekkei Genkai usually grants, that's still absurd. He must have done some serious training."

I cracked my eyes open. "Hello, Hokage-sama, Hyūga-sama," I told the two men on the side of my bed, then closed my eyes again.

Wait.

I bolted upright. "Hokage-sama! Hyūga-sama!" I understood what Hiashi was doing here, considering the fact that I saved his daughter, but what was the Hokage doing here? I gripped the sheets. "Why are you here?"

Sarutobi laughed. "I mean, you _did_ single-handedly stop an international incident. Plus, I do believe that Hyuuga-san here might want to thank you for how you saved his daughter."

"Yes," Hiashi agreed, then bowed. "I am in your debt. Not only for saving my daughter, but we heard from Kumogakure that the ninja you stopped had a backup plan in case of his death that would have led to exactly what you described, so I owe you my life as well. Oh, and don't worry. The conspirators who organized the whole thing weren't planning on you to meddle, so the Raikage was able to find and defuse the ruse rather easily." Huh, so he was just a high-ranking Kumo nin or something. "I'm still going to be upping security at my clan compound, but you should probably be safe."

"Speaking of that," the Hokage butted in, "the Raikage retroactively declared the jōnin you fought to be a missing-nin, and asked me to give his bounty to the 'demon child' that the jōnin was ranting about. That's you, Kouki-kun." He handed me a storage scroll that I assumed held the money.

"Demon child," I said, then licked my lips in a purposefully creepy manner, which caused Sarutobi to shudder. Right, Orochimaru. "I like the ring of that." I inspected the scroll and opened it. As I suspected, there was a seal on it, but I didn't know how to use it...

"That's a storage scroll. Shinobi use it to carry things that they don't have space for. Put a light amount of chakra into and you'll be able to feel and take out its contents or put things in if you have any," Sarutobi told me.

I did as he said and took out a large wad of ryō. I held it out to Hiashi. "He probably would've killed me if you showed up when you did, even though I hurt him."

He shook his head and gently pushed my hand back to the scroll I took the money from. "I am the head of a rich clan and you're an orphan. Not to mention, I did say that I owe you. I actually put some money of my own in there."

I sealed the money back in the scroll, then paused as I remembered the splatter of blood. "I chopped off a man's leg," I said in horror.

"The man was trying to kidnap a young girl and would have had her father executed," the Hokage said. "You did nothing wrong."

"Actually, it's Hyūga-san's twin brother who would have been executed in his place, so it was his fate that I averted," I said. Well, if it was already established I had some sort of foresight, I might as well use it to push my agenda. "Your father would have used the Caged Bird Seal as an excuse to send him instead because that way the Byakugan wouldn't fall into their hands." I glared at Hiashi and he flinched. "It makes you wonder why it would be used to protect the Byakugan if all of the important family members don't have it."

Sarutobi cleared his throat. "Moving on... You have an ability called a dōjutsu. It's a very special eye power passed down from parent to child, like the Byakugan. However, we have no records of any eyes like yours and, because we don't know who your parents are, no way of knowing where it came from. All we really know is that it seemed to grant you knowledge of future events." Well _I_ knew that author me gave it to me so I'd have an excuse for knowing the future, but it's not like I could say that. "We will have to do some tests on it, but there's a high possibility that this will be an S-rank village secret." Hiashi stared at him. "He exhibited precognition far enough into the future to know the repercussions of you killing a man before it happened, and with enough time to understand what was happening and prevent it. We don't know the extent of it, but we do know that it could be very dangerous in the wrong hands. Do I have to worry about your shinobi telling others about it?"

Hiashi shook his head. "I doubt they'll have said anything, and I can tell them to keep quiet. Really, we only have to worry about if anyone saw Kouki-kun's eyes on the way to my compound." I thought about it for a moment, licked my lips, and channeled a small amount of chakra into my eyes. I felt the same fuzzy feeling in them as before, and my vision suddenly doubled, brightened, and... turned a little green for some reason. Weird. "Remarkable," one of the Hiashis said. "Remarkable," the other Hiashi agreed.

I heard a sigh and my own voice said, "This is going to take some getting used to." I sighed and said, "This is going to take some getting used to." I closed my eyes (then closed my eyes) and focused on three particular events, just to see if I could see them. Three scenes flashed in my head one by one. Naruto confronting Mizuki. Sarutobi's fight with Orochimaru. Naruto telling Kakashi about his talk with his father. I cut off the chakra flow to my eyes and opened them to see only one of each person in the room. "Only two people would have really been able to get a good look at my eyes, and I wouldn't worry about either of them. One is my friend and the other is the jōnin who I... stopped. Obviously, the jōnin telling people about me having freaky eyes will be taken with a grain of salt, and he'll probably end up deciding he doesn't remember the fight right because of the pain. As for my friend, nobody but me will talk to him, so it shouldn't be too bad." I then turned to glare at Sarutobi. "Speaking of which, I'd like to ask when you were planning on telling him, Hokage-_sama_." You know how sometimes people say things like honorifics and titles like they're actually horrible, horrible insults? I said the _"-sama"_ like that.

"What are you talking about?" he asked me.

I steepled my fingers and did the... I think it was called the Gendo Ikari pose? "I'm not sure exactly how your law works, so I don't know what I am and am not allowed to say, but let's just say... I know exactly what the Fourth did to his son." He paled.

"The fourth Hokage didn't-" Hiashi began to say, but was interrupted when Sarutobi raised his hand.

"How do you-" I flashed my eyes and he sighed (and he sighed). "Right. I was planning on telling Naruto about the Kyuubi when he became a ninja, or on his thirteenth birthday if he wasn't yet a ninja. As for his father, I was planning on telling him either when he reached chūnin or when he turned sixteen, which is also when Minato's will stated he'd get his inheritance."

"That's... actually a great plan," I told him, and relaxed back into my bed, "except for the part where a traitor told him the first bit... or will tell him the first bit after using him to get the forbidden scroll. The second bit he'll learn when a failsafe on his seal trips after the Kyuubi almost comes out due to an S-class missing-nin turning Konoha literally into a crater that he _could've_ prevented had some traitor cough Danzō cough not stabbed a frog." I actually said the word cough there, by the way. "Yes, you couldn't have predicted either of those events," I clenched my fists, "but could you at least have had his godfather-who, by the way, I'm eventually going to have to have a long, _hard_ talk involving lots of jutsu exploding in his face sometime in the future-sit him down for a little chat in the eventuality of your not-untimely death, perhaps in the invasion that happens during his first chūnin exam." I sneered at how his face grew progressively more horrified as I talked. "Now, I _am_ planning on doing my best to stop those horrible things from happening, which I'm going to just assume that I have your full cooperation for, but that's not even all that happens to Naruto, believe it or not, or _has_ happened, for that matter. None of the children at the orphanage who aren't me will play with him or even go near him because some of the adults keep telling us he's a monster." I paused, then, with a laugh, I said, "I think it's a little hypocritical, but what do _I_ know. I'm also pretty sure that pretty much every adult keeps telling their kids how EEEEEEEVIIIIIIIL Naruto is, which probably won't be good for him." As I spoke, Sarutobi slumped further in his chair.

"Well shit," Hiashi muttered, absolutely floored.

"...Your dōjutsu is about as powerful as I thought," Sarutobi said after a while. "While it will not be an official position, I would like you to be my advisor. You shall be allowed to speak to me at any time without question. Now, I believe we should think of a name for your dōjutsu."

I thought about it for a moment, then said, "Shōraigan."

"Tomorrow eye," Hiashi said. "A fitting name. It's funny, I was going to suggest that exact same name." He paused. "Unless you took my suggestion before I could say it." I smiled cheekily at him and very slowly licked my lips. The face he made at that was so funny you guys. You should've seen it. I could almost hear the gears in his head working overtime. He opened his mouth a few times as if trying to think of something to say to that, then sighed and said, "So what was that jutsu that you used on the jōnin? I heard you say 'wind release,' but how could a child use wind release? For that matter, how do you know how to use chakra so well?"

"I actually don't remember how or when I first learned how to use chakra. I just remember a leaf falling on my forehead and using chakra on it." Technically true... "I managed to learn a few different chakra exercises and did them until I got really good at them. One of those was a wind chakra exercise or something, and I just made two jutsu from that. My skill's probably something to do with my eyes, now that I think about it."

"You... _made_ two jutsu?" Sarutobi asked.

"Actually, I made three. The first one, which I call Cat Claws Jutsu, is just something I made so I could mark my progress with the tree walking." I demonstrated my Cat Claws Jutsu, my fingernails sheathing themselves in the blue glow of chakra. "Then I added wind chakra to it, which I call Wind Release: Dragon Claws Jutsu." I added the wind chakra, making absolutely sure that my greatly elongated claws weren't anywhere close to their bodies. I let it dissolve after they were able to get a good look at it. "The other one I was hoping to make a ranged attack. It worked, but it didn't have as much power as I was hoping. I called it Wind Release: Mini Air Slash. I'm hoping to make a bigger variant in the future and call that one Wind Release: Air Slash."

"That's a remarkable amount of skill for someone as young as you," Sarutobi said. "I certainly think that you'll make a great ninja. Well, I suppose that that's all the two of us really need to talk to you about. Is there anything else you'd like to say?"

"Do your other advisors, Utatane-san and Mitokado-san, know of me?" I asked him.

He winced. "Not yet, no."

"Could you please keep it that way? They aren't actively traitorous, or at least I don't think they are with what I know of them, but they still follow Danzō's teachings too much for my comfort."

"Yes..." he said. "I've noticed that they've been getting worse for a while. I really should do something about them. Rest assured, it won't get to them unless you want it to."

"Thanks," I told him. I was about to say something else, but then I sneezed.

"Are you okay?" Hiashi asked me.

"Ugh." I sniffed. "I'm fine, I just randomly sneeze sometimes when I'm indoors."

"That sounds like a dust allergy."

I shrugged. "Probably? I was also going to ask what my eyes looked like because I would need a mirror to see them, but it might not be safe for me to use them near a mirror, what with the whole S-class secret thing."

"They are very distinctive," Hiashi told me. "First there's the markings under your eyes."

"I actually already know about the markings under my eyes unless using the Shōraigan changed them."

"They didn't seem to change when you used your Shōraigan, so you should be fine there. As for the eyes themselves, the sclera-that's the part of your eye that's normally white-turns pitch black!" Wow, he was actually giving me this really excited smile. Guess he really likes eyes. "And the other two parts? They actually glow! The iris, which is the colorful part of your eye, turns from hazel to glowing emerald! And your pupils! Those-by the way, pupils are the black part you actually see out of-those turn white and glow even brighter! You could probably even use them to see in the dark!"

"Okay, thanks," I said. "I'm pretty sure I have a good picture of what it looks like now. I think we're done here now, could you just tell Naruto I'm here so I can deal with him?"

"Actually, you're probably going to get discharged soon, so you might as well meet him at the orphanage," Sarutobi said. "Make sure to tell him that your eyes are a secret. You can tell him what you can do, though. He might as well know." With that, he and Hiashi got up and left.

kukukuku~

"So yeah, that's what happened," I told Naruto the next day. We were hiding behind the orphanage and I had made absolutely sure that nobody would notice us.

"So that's why your eyes were-mmph!" He started to shout before I clamped my hand over his mouth.

"It's a secret to everyone!" I whisper-shouted, and then was tempted to hand him some money for some reason. "Yes, it's why my eyes were weird. Please don't tell anyone about my weird eyes without my permission. Make totally, completely sure that you _don't. Tell. Anyone._ There's a guy in the village who likes getting people with abnormal powers in his secret army and he's not above killing people so he can remove their eyeballs."

Naruto gaped at that. "Shouldn't you tell Hokage-jiji that?"

"Hokage-sama knows, it's just that the guy is really good at covering his tracks, so he hasn't managed to nail him yet. Now, how's your wind release going?" He grinned and took a leaf cut cleanly in half out of his pocket, which caused me to lick my lips and grin as well. "I'll take that as 'good.' Try combining it with Cat Claws Jutsu now. When you can do Wind Release: Dragon Claws Jutsu, then I'll teach you Wind Release: Mini Air Slash. You're doing awesome, man." He beamed at me and started with the claws. While he was doing that, I tilted my head to the side as, if on cue, someone called my name. "I have to go now. Remember not to use that on a person unless they're already attacking you, and be especially careful with it. I cut off that guy's leg, remember?" He nodded, still focusing on his claws. I saw a flicker of wind chakra before I left. When I made my way to where I heard my name being called, I saw Hiashi standing next to one of the caretakers of the orphanage that I never bothered to learn the name of. "Why did you need me?" I asked him.

"What the hell'd you do to get _Hyūga frickin' Hiashi _to ask to adopt specifically you, kid?" the caretaker said.

"I saved his daughter," I boasted.

"What?"

"He saved my daughter," Hiashi said. "Plus, he displayed exceptional potential with ninjutsu that I would like to have developed. Honestly, it would be a crime for me not to adopt him." He ever-so-subtly smirked at me.

"Okay, sir. Whatever you say. The kid's a little odd and he only ever talks to that demon brat, but if you wanna be his dad and he wants to be your kid, then whatever."

Hiashi turned to me. "What do you say, Kouki-kun? Would you like to be my son?"

I made a show of thinking about it, then said, "You don't have any problems with me hanging out with Naruto-kun, do you?"

"If you keep him from being too disruptive, I'll even let you bring him over to the clan compound."

I bowed. "Then I would be honored to become part of your family. Do you mind if I have a little talk with you alone?"

"Not at all. Just take me to somewhere private we can talk."

I led us to my room, which was empty. I looked at Hiashi, then pointed at my eyes. He got the memo, activated his Byakugan for a few seconds, then nodded. I activated my Shōraigan, looked to make sure nothing bad would happen, then deactivated it. I then jumped onto my bed, looked roughly to where the Fourth Wall was, and said, "Getting adopted by the leader of an influential clan in the second chapter. That's pretty convenient, Me."

"Why are you talking to nobody?" Hiashi asked me with a bit of worry.

"Who said I was talking to nobody?" I licked my lips.

Again, he just opened his mouth as if trying to think of something to say, and then just changed the subject to, "So what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Was that stuff that you said the real reason?" I asked, and shifted to a very "draw me like one of your French girls" pose.

"Officially it is, but..."

"Unofficially?" He nodded and was about to say something when I sat up and said, "Wait! Sorry, but could I have a go at that first?" He nodded again. "What you said was true, but there's also the fact that Hokage-sama doesn't want me unguarded on account of my eyes and it'd raise too much suspicion to have people randomly start tailing me if I'm an orphan, even if I'm close to the Kyuubi Jinchuriki. But nobody would bat an eye at the clan leader whose daughter was just the target of an attempted kidnapping upping security at his clan compound, even if he also adopted an orphan recently and especially if that orphan was the one who saved his daughter's life and could therefore possibly be part of security. Furthermore, Hokage-sama would prefer I get trained so I can better defend myself in the event of someone trying to kidnap me. Also, I have a dōjutsu so the both of you decided that it'd be good to have me have ready access to an experienced dōjutsu user that knows about my eyes so I can ask any questions I can think of."

"That... was exactly it. You don't mind pretending to secretly be one of Hinata-chan's bodyguards when not in school, do you?"

"Nyahahaha~!" I laughed. Yes, I laugh weird sometimes. Shut up. "That'd be pretty cool, actually! It's gonna be like a disguise within a disguise!"

"It _is_ a disguise within a disguise. Our hope is that it just looks like I'm being paranoid over how my daughter was just kidnapped."

"Children getting kidnapped isn't a bad thing to be paranoid about, especially for a father." I thought for a moment. "If I'm going to be Hinata-chan's 'bodyguard,' I should probably get some proper training in ninjutsu, maybe some genjutsu, and some sort of chakra-sensing jutsu if that's possible. Chakra sensing just seems like a bodyguard sort of power, y'know?"

"I can see why that'd be useful to a bodyguard. I know for a fact that most Hyūga have the aptitude to learn sensory jutsu and many Uchiha do as well, so you might thanks to your Shōraigan. You do realize that you're going to have to actually learn all of these skills, though."

"Ah, but that's my master plan!" I joked. "This way you have to teach me jutsu! Nyahahaha~! Also, maybe I could learn some medical ninjutsu? That seems like a really good thing for a bodyguard to know. I mean, I'd certainly like _my_ hypothetical bodyguard to be able to heal me."

"Again, you're going to have to actually learn how to do it, but I could arrange that. There have actually been a few good Hyūga surgeons in recent years. Our eyes are very good for the work."

"Neat," I said. "Alright, I should probably pack my stuff up or something, shouldn't I?"

"That seems like a good idea, yes. Would you like some help?"

I smiled. "Sure."


	3. Chapter 3

I gave her a small smile and bowed. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Hinata-chan."

"Hello," she said. "Father said that you protected me from the man who wanted to hurt me."

I licked my lips. "I did do something like that. I probably would've just ended up captured along with you if it wasn't for Hiashi-san, though."

"Father also said that you're going to be my new brother."

I smiled slightly. "I might have agreed to something like that as well."

She smiled. "Now I have two big brothers."

I quizzically tilted my head to the side. "How so?"

"Neji-niisan was already like a big brother to me, even if he's a little mean sometimes. Now I have you too!" She smiled.

I shrugged. "Sure, I guess. So where is Neji-niisan?"

"Right behind you," a young male voice said from take a wild guess direction. "You're Kouki, huh?"

I turned around. "And you're Neji?"

He looked at me with an appraising eye. "Yes. I heard that you have some interesting jutsu."

"Oh, totally!" I told him, then waved a cat-clawed hand. "I mean, I only have three at the moment, but I'm so going to get more!"

"Show me."

I blinked. "Oh, sure. We just need something that nobody's going to mind if I break. Or cut in half. You got anything like that?"

"Ooh, can I see?" Hinata asked me.

I sighed. "I mean, I still need something I can break, but sure."

We managed to get a decent-sized log that I could cut up so long as I did it with adult supervision.

"Alright," Hizashi (Neji's dad, remember?) said to us. "Kouki, be careful. You two stay behind me."

I did some stretches as they got behind him. I then channeled the chakra into my nails. "Cat Claws Jutsu," I said, then charged at the log. I sliced it with both hands and admired the eight deep gouges that I had slashed into it. I then jumped back a bit and formed the seal. "Next, Wind Release: Mini Air Slash!" I slashed at it again. Similar scratches were put in the log, but this time from range.

"Wow!" Hinata said.

"Impressive," Hizashi agreed.

"But wait, there's more!" I said with some enthusiasm. "Wind Release: Dragon Claws Jutsu!" This time, I only used one hand to conserve chakra, but it was still impressive. The downward slash that I used ensured that not only was the log sliced completely through, but I also carved a bit into the ground. "And that's why I'm awesome," I panted as I turned around. It wasn't as bad as before because I hadn't been hemorrhaging chakra thanks to my expensive magical eyes, but I was still drained. Hizashi was nodding, Hinata was beaming with obvious admiration, and Neji gave a look that made me think that he begrudgingly admitted to himself that maybe I'm a little awesome. "Now if you'll excuse me, I really need a nap." I fell backward, making sure to fall properly to not hurt myself, and groaned.

"Are you okay?" Hinata asked.

"M'fine, jus' need a moment," I slurred out.

"I thought your reserves were high enough that you wouldn't be that exhausted," Hizashi commented.

"Why would you think that, father?" Neji asked.

"I'm not that tired, I'm just resting because I used some chakra," I said. "Those jutsu are still pretty draining, just not enough that I won't be able to fight someone my size right now. I could still beat up Neji if I wanted to. Him and Hinata at once might be pushing it, though."

"I could beat you easily," Neji scowled.

"You wanna go, Ice Cream?" I taunted.

"If Father will allow it, then I will soundly beat you."

Hizashi sighed. "Fine, just try not to dismember each other." I got up and entered a fighting stance.

"Your form isn't very good," Neji told me.

"And you're going to activate your-" Neji activated his Byakugan. "Oh, there it goes. You do realize that you're wasting chakra, right?" Neji said nothing and got into his Jūken stance. "Doesn't that hurt?" I asked. "Your veins are bulging like crazy!"

"No, shut up."

"Hajime!" Hizashi said. I rushed at Neji as he charged at me. I caught his forearm before he could hit me with his palm, then used it to push myself down and out of the way of his other strike. I repositioned myself so that I could sweep at his leg, then jumped up and punched at him while he was off-balance. He caught my arm, used it to steady himself, then began hitting my tenketsu. I didn't even bother trying to pull my arm away and instead punched him in the gut. He got the wind knocked out of him and went a few steps back. I decided to take the opportunity to use Mini Air Slash on him. Unfortunately, my hand had gone numb, so I just did my best to make a one-handed sign and tried to use that. The slashes were a little wobbly, but it ended up not mattering too much when he just ducked under them and smacked me in the stomach. That quickly turned into a combo where I took a bunch of thankfully-not-tenketsu-closing strikes all over me. The next thing I knew, I was groaning on the ground again. "You were both good, but ultimately you left yourself open too much, Kouki," Hizashi said. "You also might want to refrain from letting yourself get hit, even if it's to exploit an opening."

I sat up and shook out my numb hand. Some feeling returned to it and I was able to slowly open and close it. I guess being young and inexperienced with Jūken means that you can only partially disable someone with tenketsu strikes... "Got it."

"You might also want to not taunt your opponent as much. All you did was make Neji angry."

"Blasphemy! I just need to taunt harder!"

"I... sure, fine. If you want, I could help you with your fighting a bit," he offered. He then looked at Neji and Hinata and said, "You two too."

"Thanks," I said, "That's probably a good idea."

kukukuku~

I looked in the mirror inside my room. I decided that I should probably give you guys a better description of my appearance, especially now that I was part of a ninja family and apparently encouraged to have my own unique style... despite the fact that ninja are supposed to blend in. My hair was getting long, almost touching my shoulders. I like my hair long, so I was just going to let it grow until I was either told to get a haircut or it got too annoying. My hair was a dark brown color, but if the light hit it just right it looked brighter and almost reddish sometimes. It curled at the ends, though I've been told that if I didn't comb it as much it'd probably be curlier. Of course, I get really bad bedhead, so that's not really an option. My bangs were combed to the left side of my face, usually just barely out of my left eye, though they sometimes did fall over my eye. As for my clothes, I wore a baggy long-sleeved shirt and pants that were basically sweatpants, both dark blue. It was actually really similar to my favorite outfit from real life. When not indoors, I wore a pair of comfortable boots instead of the usual sandals. I gave Hiashi an excuse about being leery about wearing open-toed shoes after banging my feet on a lot of things, including more than a few rocks. It wasn't a lie. At all... The look was completed by a pair of cool sunglasses resting on top of my head. The idea was that I'd make a habit of actually putting them over my eyes whenever I'd have to "get serious," which didn't have to include activating my Shōraigan but I'd have to use them to hide my Shōraigan in battle. Plus, my eyes were sensitive enough to light without whatever enhancements are involved in the Shōraigan, so they'd be good when the sunlight's being overly harsh. Thankfully, I was somehow not blinded by reflected light when I tested them out and they didn't show any of the light coming from my eyes somehow. I think that there might have actually been seals placed on it or something... Also! I still had that little bumpy thingy on the top of my left ear! I liked that little bumpy nub thing!

"Kouki-kun!" Hiashi said from outside my room. "We're leaving soon!"

"Coming!" I called out. We were going out to eat at a sushi restaurant to celebrate my adoption and the fact that I saved Hinata's and/or Hizashi's life. Of course, before we went there, we had to make a quick stop at my insistence. I stepped in the clearing right as a tree fell down. I looked at the multiple cuts in the bark. "I see you're starting to figure it out, Naru-chan. Now never use that jutsu unless someone's trying to kill you."

Naruto ran up to me and hugged me (thankfully after deactivating the jutsu). "Kouki! I missed you, 'ttebayo!" Aaaand there was his verbal tic.

I licked my lips. "It was only a day, Naru-chan. I was literally only gone for a day." I thought about what that could mean for a second. "Please tell me nobody was bullying you again."

He released me and put his hands behind his head. "Nah, it was just boring. Why are you back so soon?"

"Well it turns out that getting adopted by a rich guy has its perks." I smirked. "Wanna get rich people food for free and probably have a respected jōnin and clan head yell at anyone who's rude to you?"

"I hope that that isn't all you think of me," Hiashi said from behind me, Hinata hiding behind him.

"Nyahahaha~!" I laughed. "Of course not! You're also free housing and jutsu lessons." He narrowed his eyes at me. "Fine. Also a wonderful father," I faux-reluctantly added. I then brought Naruto over to Hinata. "Naru-chan, this is Hina-chan. Hina-chan, Naru-chan," I introduced the two to each other. "I hope you make friends, you'll be seeing a lot of each other. Tsehehehe~!" Yes I have a second, weirder weird laugh. Shut up.

"Whaddya mean?" he asked, looking a little suspicious.

"She's my new sister and you're literally my only friend," I said. "Now why don't we go get rich people food? I'm starting to get a little hungry."

"Rich people food, 'ttebayo!" Naruto yelled with glee. I smiled.

"R-rich people food..." Hinata muttered, which made me chuckle softly.

Hiashi just sighed. "Yes, rich people food. Please behave yourselves when we get there, though." With that, we left for the restaurant.

kukukuku~

I snickered as I looked at the boy sitting on my right. Naruto had a really confused look on his face and I really couldn't blame him. Didn't mean I wasn't internally howling with laughter, though. He looked at my new father and his wife, now sitting across the table from him at the restaurant. He then looked at my new uncle and _his_ wife, sitting next to Hiashi and... apparently her name was Hikari. By the way, for those of you who don't know what Hikari looks like due to her appearing in the Naruto literally once and only in a photo, she looks like an older Hinata but without the Byakugan. She gave Naruto a warm, kind smile, which was the only expression I'd ever seen on her face ever. Hizashi's wife, Hikaru, did the same. Hiashi and Hizashi were just _barely_ containing their laughter, and even Neji, who I could see on my left even with Hinata between us, had a small grin. Naruto leaned over to me and whispered, "Kouki, I think your parents are ninja. They're using clones." With that, everyone but Naruto burst out into either laughter or small giggling (Neji was giggling and it was hilarious).

"We're not clones, Naruto-kun," Hikaru said. "I'm Kouki-kun's aunt." She gestured at Hikari. "My twin sister married Kouki's father. I, myself, married his twin brother."

Naruto furrowed his brow. "So you," he pointed at Hikaru," and you," he pointed at Hikari, "are twins, which is why you look so similar. And you married two people who are also twins and also identical."

"Yes, that's right, Naruto-kun," Hikaru warmly smiled at him.

"Neji-chan and Hina-chan might as well be brother and sister," I commented with a little laugh.

A waiter cleared his throat. "May I get you anything to drink?" he asked.

"A green tea for me and my wife," Hiashi and Hizashi immediately responded. They looked at each other for a second, then grinned.

"Tea for me as well," Neji told him.

"U-uh, can I have some apple juice, please," Hinata asked.

"Juice too," I said. The waiter nodded and started to leave.

"Hey, you didn't take my order, 'ttebayo!" Naruto yelled. The waiter scoffed and continued to walk away.

"Excuse me," Hiashi said as he stood up. "You forgot to get Naruto-kun's order.

"Why that riffraff is with you, I could never tell," he haughtily said. Hiashi glared at him. "Fine, fine. What do you want, _boy_?"

Naruto flinched a little, then said, "A-apple juice, please." I growled at the waiter, which sounded a bit deeper than I thought it would. For some reason, that made _him_ flinch. He hurried off, apologizing.

Hizashi blinked. "Apparently your irises turn red when you get angry, Kouki-kun. That's... odd."

"Really?" I asked, then licked my lips creepily. "That _is_ weird. Not bad, just... weird." As we were waiting for our drinks, we looked through the menu. "What am I allowed to get," I asked.

"You can get anything you want," Hiashi told me. "Though I would advise ordering less than Hinata. Same for you, Naruto-kun."

"Why less than Hinata-chan?" Naruto asked. Just then, a waitress came up to our table with our drinks.

"We're so sorry about the previous waiter," she told us. "He was... uh..." She looked at Naruto. "He was... greatly affected by the death of his wife three years ago. Still, he should never have acted that way to any guest of yours. "

"If you wish to apologize, do it to Naruto-kun," Hiashi said.

"So sorry," she told Naruto, then gave him his drink. "After your meal, we will be giving you a free dessert, on the house." She gave the rest of us our drinks. "What would you like to eat?" she asked us. It was at that point that Naruto's question was answered. Hinata ordered three dishes of sushi for herself. which was a lot. Even the adults only had one.

After we had all finished ordering our sushi, I said, "See, Naru-chan? Father stood up for you and you got free food. Did I keep my promise or what?" Naruto chuckled a little. After a little while and some small talk and chopstick-using lessons for me and Naruto (I already knew, but it'd have looked suspicious if I said that seeing as Naruto didn't), our food arrived. I will say this: Konohagakure sushi is _way_ better than Walgreen's sushi. When in my sushi-induced rapture, I was vaguely aware of Hiashi asking me if I liked it, and then my head lazily bobbing up and down. Also, while I might have just been hallucinating in my sushi haze, I thought I saw sparkles. Unfortunately, though, all good things must come to an end. In this case, that end was that when I started chewing on one of my pieces of sushi, I felt a burning feeling and awful taste on my tongue. I gagged as I felt myself start to feel a little like puking, then swallowed the sushi. I looked down at my plate and saw that the sushi that I'd eaten was right next to the wasabi. I glared at the wasabi.

Hikari chuckled. "That's wasabi, Kouki-kun. It's fine if you don't like it." She gave Hiashi an amused look, and he rolled his eyes.

"I gag on sushi with wasabi on it one time and I never live it down," he muttered, though he sounded more amused than annoyed.

"I don't like wasabi," I confirmed. Wasabi is horrible. Truly the worst thing. "It tastes weird." I noticed that my last piece of sushi was also touching wasabi. "Does anyone here who likes wasabi wanna trade with me?" I asked. Hinata immediately placed one of her sushi on my plate and took the tainted sushi with her chopsticks. I looked over to her plates and noticed that she was somehow already done with all of her sushi. "Uhh-" I started to say.

"No, we don't know how Hinata-chan eats that much," Hiashi preempted, which made Hinata blush slightly. "All we know is that she somehow can without it being unhealthy."

I nodded. I remembered jokes in the anime about Hinata eating a LOT, so that made sense. "Okay..."

We continued to make small talk until the waitress came back. "Would any of you like dessert?" she asked. "Keep in mind that Uzumaki-san's dessert will be on the house."

Naruto looked at the dessert menu and immediately said, "Dorayaki," which was the first thing on the menu. I looked at Hiashi with my special Puppy Dog Eyes(TM).

"This is a celebration for your adoption and Hinata-chan's birthday," Hiashi told me. "Don't worry about it, you can get a dessert."

"Chocolate-strawberry crepe, please," I said.

"C-could I have the cinnamon bun?" Hinata asked. Cinnamon bun for the cinnamon bun. Got it. Hiashi nodded.

"If it is fine for me to get a dessert as well, then I would like to try the coffee jelly," Neji added stiffly. The waitress left with our orders.

Hiashi cleared his throat. "I'd like to say something. Hizashi and Neji-kun, I want to apologize to you two for the fact that the two of you have been given the Caged Bird Seal."

"But it was tradition," Hizashi said, "and we were children when I was given my seal."

"I was still the cause of you getting your seal. And as for Neji-kun, I allowed it. It has come to my attention recently that the Caged Bird Seal is an imperfect means of protecting our bloodline and causes more grief than it does peace. Because of that, I, as the head of the Hyūga clan, would like to apologize to the two of you." He bowed his head. "I shall do my best to... make things better for the branch house in the future."

"Thank you, for that," Hizashi said. "I apologize for the attitude that I used to have towards you."

Hiashi shook his head. "It was perfectly understandable, there is no reason to apologize."

Naruto leaned over to me again. "So do you know what's going on here? Because I'm totally lost, 'ttebayo."

"Don't worry about it," I told him. "It's a Hyūga thing."

"Your desserts are here," the waitress said as she arrived with... well... I really shouldn't have to say. She handed us our desserts. I inspected mine. A crepe with whipped cream, chocolate, and strawberries in it. It certainly looked and smelled delicious. I took a bite.

(⊙_⊙) (❀‿❀) (◐ o ◑ ) (ღ˘◡˘ღ)ヽ(^◇^*)/ (ʃƪ˘ڡ˘)

"That... was beautiful," I said, on the verge of tears. I blinked, and my eyes felt really irritated. "Was I... crying?"

"How were you sparkling like that?" Neji asked, bewildered.

I thought about that for a second, then shrugged and made that "I don't know" noise. I took another bite of my crepe. It was freaking _amazing__._ "This is probably the most delicious thing I've ever had." I really like sweet food.

"Mine's pretty good too," Hinata muttered.

"I'm glad you like it," Hikari said. "It's certainly nice to see you happy, considering where you were. How is yours, Naruto-chan?"

"It's great, 'ttebayo!" he exclaimed. "I haven't had dessert before, and this stuff is so good!"

I smiled slightly. "It's good to see you having fun, Naru-chan," I said.

kukukuku~

I stared at the grey-haired man before me. "Hatake Kakashi," I said.

"That's me, kid," he confirmed. "I owe your father one, so he told me to teach you some ninjutsu. He told me what you can do already, so don't worry about that."

I nodded. "What first?"

"Seeing as you can already do the tree-climbing and water-walking jutsu, I feel like I should teach you the academy three, then see where we go from there. The academy three are three jutsu taught in the academy, as you might be able to guess. First, the clone jutsu. It lets you create a construct made of your chakra that looks and acts exactly like you. While it can't use jutsu and is destroyed the moment it touches something, it's a lot more useful than people give it credit, given the fact that it can be used as a distraction. These are the hand seals needed to use it." He demonstrated. "And then you push out some chakra to create the clone." There was a small pop and a second Kakashi appeared next to him. "It should just come out naturally when you use the seals, but you need to get the amount down right or the clone will look off. Now you try." I licked my lips and shakily made the seals, sticking my tongue out slightly in concentration. I actually found it a little awkward to switch between the complex hand positions, but I was able to do it. I used what felt like an appropriate amount of chakra, but my clone ended up looking a little sick once the smoke cleared. Kakashi did that weird thing where you can tell he's smiling even though his mouth is covered. "That's actually really good for a first-timer. Your hand seals need some work, but that's nothing to be too worried about. Now, let's move on to the next jutsu."

kukukuku~

It was the evening, after Kakashi finished teaching me the academy three and making sure I could use them decently. "The thing that he needs to work on the most is his hand seals," Kakashi told Hiashi. "His chakra reserves are very good for someone of his age and he has decent control. He might be ready to begin proper elemental training sometime within the next year if he gets his reserves up a bit more."

"Good. Thank you for this, Kakashi-san," Hiashi said.

"Don't mention it. Now, is there anything else I should teach him?"

"If you could see about get him started on genjutsu, too, that would be good."

I focused on something else, and my vision shifted. I saw the Council of the Five Kage, Danzō's death, Naruto's talk with Kushina, Naruto taking the Kyuubi's chakra, and parts of the Fourth Shinobi War, fading out around when Naruto fought Nagato with Itachi. "So that's everything that writer!Me has seen since I got here," I muttered. I deactivated my eyes and then opened them, taking in the sight of my empty room once more. There wasn't much there yet, just the mirror that I'd used earlier, a bookshelf, a dresser, and my bed. There were enough windows that it was well-ventilated, which was very good for my (admittedly very minor) indoor allergy. The bed, which I was sitting on at the moment, was really comfortable, which was nice. The sheets and pillows were also really soft, which is why I was currently rubbing my face in them. There was an equally soft plush cat sitting right next to me, which I had only had to accidentally look at Hikari with Puppy Dog Eyes(TM) for about a second after seeing it in the shop before she caved and bought it for me. I chuckled, then sat up. "It's kind of funny how I've already gotten rid of one of Kabuto's minions without even meaning to or knowing about, isn't it Fluffy-san?" Yes, I named the cat Fluffy-san. He was fluffy. Though he actually reminded me of Kyubey (from Madoka Magica, not Naru-chan's stomach). "Heck, I might have gotten rid of two, if that one guy was also one of the Edo Tensei zombies. Maybe I should start doing something about the rest... What do you think, Fluffy-san?" I grabbed Fluffy-san's head and made it bob up and down while saying, "**EAT THEIR SOULS!**" so that it sounded like Fluffy-san said it. For some reason, my voice sounded really demonic when I did that, even to me. "That's what you always say," I told him.

"**Edo Tensei needs their souls, nya,**" Fluffy-san "said."

"True, but how am I going to _eat_ their souls? I'm pretty sure those things give me indigestion."

"**That sounds like a 'you' problem, nya.**"

I frowned at him. "You're kind of a jerk, Fluffy-san."

"**That also sounds like a 'you' problem, nya.**"

I was actually really having fun with this. I fake-pouted. "Fiiiiine, I guess I'll just write down all the stuff I know and show it to Sarutobi..." I was about to get up to get the journal on my dresser that Hiashi had gotten me for my secret advisor duties, then stopped. "I've been meaning to do this... Hopefully I'm right about it." I placed my two index fingers together, then flowed a small amount of chakra through them. I bonded the two streams together, then pulled my fingers apart, making the chakra thin out until it was a barely-visible thread of chakra. I examined how it felt, then let it go. If tiny Sasori could do it, then I was confident tiny me could. I made a few attempts at it that didn't work quite right before finally recreating it without the weird pull-apart thing. I licked my lips. "Sweet." I tested out my new puppetry powers on Fluffy-san. It took me a few tries to stick it in him, but I got it eventually and it felt great.

"**Didn't someone else do that first, nya?**" I had him ask me.

"Yeah, but it's a power with so many uses and Suna just uses it for puppets. Puppets and literally _nothing _else. It's such a waste of a cool power and there are only two times that I know of that someone did something else with it that wasn't puppetry, and one of them used it to enhance her puppet-fighting! Now stop guilting me."

"**You _do_ realize that I'm literally just a puppet, right, nya?**"

I gasped. "Oh no! I'm succumbing to Sunagakure Puppet Syndrome! I must use my new jutsu for something other than playing with killer dolls!" I shot chakra threads at the book, then reeled it in. "Yoink!" I said as I grabbed it.

"Why are you like this?" Neji asked me.

"NYAH!" I jumped so hard I almost fell off my bed. "Neji! How long have you been here?"

He rolled his eyes. "When you started trying to pick up your toy."

"**My name is Fluffy-san, nya.**"

"What?"

"His name is Fluffy-san," I said as if he was the weird one. "Nya."

He gave me a bewildered look, before sighing and giving up. "You know what, nevermind. Hiashi-sama wanted me to check up on you."

I gave him a thumbs-up. "I'm fine, how about you?"

"I'm doing well. Thank you for asking. I'm going to go to bed now. Good night."

"Good night!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apropos to nothing, but apparently that bumpy thing on my ear that I mentioned in the last chapter is called a Darwin's tubercle. Fun fact.

I yawned. I probably shouldn't have stayed up so late, and using my Shōraigan apparently didn't help. "You wanted to see me?" I asked as I sat down. Hiashi had told Hinata to tell me to meet him in his office (I was actually already on my way there because future vision), which currently was empty except for him.

Hiashi nodded, then took a sip of his tea. "First, would you like some tea?" He gestured at a cup of tea obviously set out for me. I cautiously took a sip, not wanting to be rude, then gagged. Seriously, how do people drink something that bitter? "Not a big tea fan, I guess..." he muttered to himself. I wordlessly pushed the cup away from me, relying on my look of disgust to indicate that he was right. "I wished to see if you have the ability to sense chakra, as you requested. Before that, however, I want to know if you have any more observations about your eyes."

I smirked. "Well first off, and I know that this isn't my eyes, but it's eye-adjacent, soooo..." My smile grew slightly as I channeled a small amount of chakra into the white markings on my eye rings like I did when I activated my Shōraigan, causing the markings to light up like little flashlights for a second. "I know that future sight is objectively the better power, but I still really like this. I'm also hoping that I can somehow turn this into some sort of offensive jutsu somehow, maybe something like Storm Release: Laser Circus."

Hiashi frowned. "Isn't Storm Release a Kekkei Genkai?" My smug grin returned, which caused him to chuckle. "Ah, right. I'll see if I can find..." He trailed off, then sighed. "I honestly have no idea _what_ we could do for that aside from testing the hand seals used in similar jutsu and perhaps adding elemental chakra in to see if that does anything, but if I somehow come across anything, I'll let you know."

"Thanks. I also figured out that I can displace my senses in just space and not time, which I can use to spy on people undetected. So far, I've noticed no upper limit to the range of that, so if there is one, it's already far enough away that I can see other hidden villages without any problems. I guess that displacing my vision in space is a lot less ludicrous than displacing my vision in time. I've also noticed that, for some reason, it's easiest to view a future where I don't exist, if that makes sense." In other words, canon. "With me, I can reliably see about a day into the future. Without me, I've managed to see about thirteen years into the future. I'm sure that I can improve both over time, though."

Hiashi frowned. "Such a powerful dōjutsu... using it must have some drawback."

I rolled my eyes and licked my lips. "The Rinnegan only really has a major downside aside from chakra drain if you start using the Outer Path, which 'just' leaves you with summoning everything and anything, turning your body parts into highly advanced technology, attraction and repulsion powers that can be utilized at a magnitude high enough to level a hidden village, sucking up chakra fast enough to destroy and stop ninjutsu, stealing people's souls to read their minds, and some sort of 'if you lie, you die' jutsu. Probably other stuff, too."

Hiashi gaped. "The Rinnegan is real?" he asked with disbelief.

"Yeeeup," I said, making a popping noise with the "p" sound. "I mean, the Shōraigan totally has a weakness, but the Rinnegan isn't a myth."

He frowned. "Why did you mention the Rinnegan, then?"

"I just wanted to see your reaction," I admitted with a chuckle. He sighed. "The downside of the Shōraigan is that using it makes me really tired." Okay, this is the part where I explain something. I've always had a rather... unhealthy relationship with sleep. If something interests me enough, I have a tendency to get really absorbed into it and end up getting to bed super late or just not sleeping at all sometimes. That used to mean reading, YouTube videos, or watching anime, but now that I was in a world where I couldn't do two of those and didn't yet have much access to the other, that meant chakra and jutsu practice. I'd noticed early on that I just wasn't getting tired after sneaking out stupid late hours a couple of times to practice chakra control when I couldn't sleep (even though I still sucked at being a morning person), so I ended up staying up a whole night doing nothing but chakra exercises with intermittent breaks to let my chakra regenerate as a test. Then I stayed up the next day when I felt totally fine. And the next day. And the next day. It took five whole days (literally) for me to start to feel really tired, which I had, at the time, chalked up to having abnormal amounts of mental energy or something combined with already having a lot of experience with not falling asleep or something like that. But now, though... "I got decent sleep yesterday, but I feel like I've been up for almost a week now."

For the fourth time, Hiashi looked as if his brain bluescreened because of something I said. I was honestly starting to feel a little bad for him at this point. Did he get a concussion recently? "Repeat that last part again?"

It didn't stop me from laughing internally as I answered, though. "I got decent sleep yesterday, but I feel like I've been up for almost a week," I said, as if _I_ was the one speaking to a child. It's not like a small child with my eyes but not my memories would realize anything was wrong with how weird my sleep schedule was without being told, which I was not.

He gave me a concerned look. "How are you still awake?"

I gave him a quizzical head tilt. "I'm not really sure what you..." Pause for idea to form... light bulb expression... "Maybe I don't get sleepy. I remember you said that Kekkei Genkai users have better chakra reserves so they can use their Kekkei Genkai. Maybe the Shōraigan has something similar, but with getting tired." I placed a finger on my chin. "Do people get tired after not sleeping for a day?"

"Yes, yes they do. Your theory is... plausible." Hiashi speculated. "Hyūga are resistant to eye strain and sensory overload, which is a must for using the Byakugan. How much did you use your eyes last night?"

"I spent... like two or three hours testing out my future vision and remote viewing. I found out that I can speed up my future sight, which may have affected how tired it made me."

"How much?"

"I can tell you every noteworthy event that's going to happen in Konohagakure no Sato within the next twenty-four hours, some of the goings-on of other major villages in that same time period," Found out that Gaara didn't have his love tat yet and looked in on the other jinchuriki, "and major events within the next thirteen." Okay, I _did_ review some stuff, so that's technically true.

"What else did you do that made you stay up so late?" he asked.

"Jutsu practice, writing down everything I thought I should tell the Hokage, existential horror, trying to shoot lasers out of my markings, and trying to make other new jutsu," I listed off.

"What was that third one?"

"Lasers are awesome. Weren't you going to teach me how to sensor?"

He chuckled. "Fine, just make sure to get some rest later and don't stay up more than three days in a row." He paused for a moment, then said, "I feel like that isn't the sort of thing that a parent normally tells his child... As for chakra sensing, I want you to start by trying to feel the chakra that I'm going to produce." He held his hand out to me, making chakra emanate from his palm. "Hold your hand out if you have to feel it better, just don't touch the chakra." I held out my hand and started to feel... something from it. "Do you feel it?" I nodded. "Good, now close your eyes. Concentrate on how it feels." I did as he asked, sticking my tongue out a little in concentration. "Good. I'm going to pull my chakra away from you a bit, so try to keep feeling the chakra." I already knew where this was going, so I wasn't surprised at all when I heard his voice from across the room a few minutes later, saying, "Now open your eyes." I saw him standing on the far side of the room. "Did you feel it?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

He gave me a small, but warm smile. "Great, that's the first step. You have the potential."

kukukuku~

"I have a question," I told Hiashi as switched to lying on my stomach on the floor and started lazily kicking my legs into the air. I'd just finished another session with Kakashi where he'd taught me the basics of genjutsu, as Hiashi had asked him. I'd... almost gotten yin release down and could already disrupt some genjutsu. Sure, it was super low-leveled genjutsu, but I was looking on the bright side. I knew illusion powers.

"What is it, Kouki-kun?" he asked.

"What are you going to do about the Caged Bird Seal?"

Hiashi sighed. "Ideally, I'd like to replace it with a seal actually meant to protect our bloodline, but the only seal masters in the Hyūga family are too stuck in their ways to even consider it and nobody would trust a seal not made by a Hyūga."

I licked my lips. Exactly the dialogue prompt that I wanted. "So it has to be a Hyūga, but there aren't any Hyūga seal masters that you can trust enough to do it." I faux-sighed and exaggeratedly pretended to be annoyed with the implication. "Fiiiiiine, I guess I just have to do it myself."

"What?"

"I'm being raised by the Hyūga clan head, so hopefully I'll gain the trust of the family within time. It wouldn't look suspicious at all for me to learn about seals, seeing how I've already persuaded you to get me knowledge on the subjects of ninjutsu, genjutsu, sensing, and maybe eventually healing. Plus, we've already established that I can stay up for three nights in a row without needing to sleep at all, so that might make me able to learn faster," I listed off.

He stared at me. "You planned this, didn't you?"

I smirked and placed my hand on my chest. "Why father! Are you suggesting, perchance, that I knew you would say that and thus decided to use it as an opportunity to persuade you to have me taught in the ways of sealing?" I smiled slightly at him for a second, then said, "Because if so, I did and I am." He laughed and ruffled my hair. "Hey!" I yelled.

"You're lucky you're cute," he told me.

"Curses!" I shouted. "My attempts to be taken seriously have been thwarted by my cuteness yet again." He just laughed.

kukukuku~

Sarutobi Hiruzen sighed. He had had a very long day. In addition to the usual paperwork of the Hokage, he'd needed to deal with his advisors and their complete inability to realize why it was a terrible idea to declare war on Kumogakure. Again. Yes, a Kumo-nin had tried to kidnap the Hyūga child, but the Raikage himself had said that the man was acting rogue and the Hyūga clan head said that it was fine so long as another incident like that didn't happen. He took off his hat as he finally entered his bedroom, intent on finally getting to take a nice, long nap.

And then he saw the small child of doom sitting cross-legged on his futon. "Hiyah!" I told him.

"Hyūga Kouki," he sighed. "How did you get in here?"

"I'd say that your guards need to step up their game, but to be fair, I did cheat," I told him, quickly flashing him my eyes as explanation. With my eyes, it'd been pretty easy to know exactly what the patrol was. That, plus the fact that I have really good ears to hear when they were close, made stealthing my way into the Hokage's room pretty easy. My ears were more sensitive than I remembered them being, but I'm pretty sure that _that_ one was just the fact that I was younger and hadn't had to deal with The Loudmouth and Crazy McBarksalot. Seriously, I love my little sister, but the best way I can think of to describe her is a younger, female Present Mic with a weaker Quirk and who doesn't talk like a radio show host all the time. Our dog is cute, too, but she's literally barking mad. "Do you want to know why I'm here?" I asked him.

He sighed. "I'm sure you have some grand revelation that's going to leave me questioning everything again."

"Bingo," I said. "First, though, I have to give you my official first bit of advice as your advisor." He nodded and stared at me intently. "You really shouldn't have made some random kid your advisor just because he could see the future. You got lucky that I'm so wise beyond my years."

"I was thinking more about later, when you have more experience, but it's good to know that you're good enough to realize the flaws in my decisions now," he retorted.

"True, buuuut there's also the fact that you have no idea what my intentions are," I countered. "For all you know, I could resent the people of the village for their terrible treatment of Naru-chan. In fact, I _do_ resent them somewhat, but I just forgive them enough to not want to do something stupid. I only resent them enough to want to make them see how horrible their actions are and feel despair from it."

Sarutobi nodded. "I thought of that, but I also decided that if you saved Hinata-chan in the way you did, then your intentions must be good."

I rested my cheek on my hand, my elbow on my leg. "Or I could have just used the incident to get into your good graces. For all you know, I could've unlocked my Shōraigan _before_ the Hyūga incident and planned that all out in advance."

"Your point is?" It wasn't angry or anything, just resigned.

"I'd take my advice with a grain of salt if I were you. Sure, I could just be super upfront about everything, but I could also just be doing all this to lull you into a false sense of security. Best to be careful."

"Okay..." he said. I laughed to myself. He was starting to look confused. "What are your intentions, then?"

I took out my journal, now full of every major event and character that I could think of from Naruto and details about them. "In this book, there are several major events that I plan to stop or mitigate the fallout of." I offered it to him. "Read it all, please."

He took the book and began to _leaf_ through the pages of it. "When did you learn to read and write this well?" he asked me. It was a fair question. Despite the fact that we were speaking Japanese and everything was written in Japanese, I was fully capable of comprehending it all as well as I comprehended English (don't ask how the puns work, just don't). My guess was that author!Me just made me able to speak Japanese and didn't adjust my skill to be at my age level. That guy's a lazy jerk, y'know? At any rate, that wouldn't be a good answer for him for multiple reasons. I would have paused to think of an answer if I hadn't seen this whole exchange already.

"I used my eyes to find someone teaching a kid how to read. Managed to get really good from that, somehow." I should probably be disturbed by how well and how nonchalantly I can lie if I have it planned out in advance, but meh. It's probably a good skill for a ninja, anyway. "I think that we should start by doing something about Gaara, then the Uchiha incident, and then start worrying about the invasion," I suggested. "By the way, just in case, you really shouldn't just arrest the people involved immediately. Some of them have yet to do anything. Just be wary of them until you can prove that they've done a punishable offense or are about to do a punishable offense."

"I know that. If I may ask, why would you suggest helping Sunagakure if you know they're going to betray us?" I could tell that it was more of a "test his character" question than a "give me one good reason" question.

"Gaara doesn't deserve it, Suna could be less likely to betray us if we help them, and Gaara and I are raccoon-eye buddies," I listed.

He blinked at that last one. "Raccoon-eye buddies?"

"He has markings around his eyes and I have markings around my eyes," I explained like it was the most obvious thing ever. "I mean, it's as plain as the markings my face." Sarutobi sighed at that.

"What could we even do for Gaara?" he asked, looking at his entry.

"I'm hopefully going to learn about seals, so I'm going to try using my Shōraigan and maybe an unconscious Naru-chan to figure something out if I get good enough. Speaking of that, I don't suppose you could get me some sealing notes from an Uzumaki? Preferably something about Biju-sealing?"

"If you think it'll help, then fine, I'll see what I can do. Having another seal master loyal to Konoha is always a good thing. Are there any other things that you'd like?"

"Jutsu scrolls for Transparency Jutsu, and if you can get them, Earth Release: Earth Spears and Earth Release: Underground Projection Fish or jutsu like them. Preferably the fish one because it doesn't disturb the earth and looks super cool." He nodded. "Next, I'd like to say something that I thought of that could help with the Uchiha incident."

"If you think it might help."

"Set up a council of advisors with clan heads, other important shinobi, and elected civilian heads," I advised. "Put more than one highly competent Uchiha on the non-clan shinobi council so that it appeases the Uchiha."

"I'll think about it. If that is all, shouldn't you be off to bed? I'm sure your father's worried about you."

I laughed, then started preparing chakra threads so I could Spider-Man away from there. "He knows I'm here. I still should be going, though. The next time window where I can leave is right... about..." Instead of finishing that thought, I jumped out the window into the night, leaving behind a note that said, "Is there any reason why you don't use shadow clones for paperwork?" I didn't see it, but I knew that he was hitting himself as he read it. Because Shōraigan.

kukukuku~

I got up and stretched for a bit. Sure, that book on seals that Father got me was really interesting, but I couldn't just sit still the whole night. I was amazed at how intuitive it was. It was like what little I'd learned of how to code, but I had yet to lose interest in it because I was learning how to code what was essentially _magic_. I'd already managed to make a basic seal that just glowed when you put chakra in it. Sure, I could do that myself, but I did it by hacking the universe! That's even cooler than flashlight eyes! Plus it was apparently the first step in making paper bombs (converts chakra into radiant energy, change it to a burst of thermal and kinetic). I did some of my exercises, making sure to be quiet so as not to wake anyone up. When I was done, I reached out my senses, hoping to practice my chakra-sensing. It'd been a few weeks since Father had first started me on my chakra-sensing training and I could already sense people by their chakra at a good distance. Sure, I had to concentrate really hard to do it, but I could _sense people. From a distance!_ It was so cool! I always thought that characters in shows with those powers that allow them to tell where people are were really cool, and it was even cooler to be doing to sensing myself! I did a sweep of the general area that I knew the orphanage was in. I figured that it'd be easier trying to pinpoint a specific person in a group if I started first with the ridiculous chakra beacon that was Naru-chan. He wasn't quite as ridiculous as he would be in ten years, but in an orphanage full of untrained children and with him having already practiced chakra? I found him almost immediately. I remembered what Karin said about him. Even now, his chakra had that warm glow to it that Karin had felt. I "looked" more closely and felt the seething and sinister chakra of Kurama boiling inside of him. I honestly felt bad for him. I'm pretty sure that in every incident that caused Kurama to have a reputation as a mindless, rampaging beast, he was just controlled by some jerk Uchiha calling himself Madara. Plus, he was sealed in someone for about one lifetime, then transferred to another person, this one with the nickname "Red-Hot Habanero," then when he was finally freed to stretch his legs he was mind-controlled by that masked jerk who I'm pretty sure is actually Obito, then split in half and sealed in an infant. I'd certainly be grumpy if that happened to me. "_**A human who actually cares what a bij**_**_ū_**_** thinks. Now that's a first,**_" a deep voice said from within my head. I suddenly felt like I was falling, and found myself in a familiar-looking... was it supposed to be a sewer? Thankfully, this time around the floor wasn't wet, though there were two canals on either side of the spacious room where the mind water flowed. I looked up at the giant fox. "Hello, Kurama," I greeted him.

"**Tch. So you are the seer boy my jailor is so fond of,**" he said. "**I should've realized that you would find some way to get in here.**"

"The word 'jailor' implies that Naru-chan is aware of your presence and is willingly keeping you here," I corrected, then sat down. "If anything, he's a jail."

"**That**** doesn't change the fact that I'm stuck in here until the seal weakens.**"

"True," I said. "While I can't outright destroy Naru-chan's seal to set you free, seeing as that would kill him and brand me a traitor to Konoha, I'd like to help you"

"**Feh****. You just want to get on my good side so you can use me for something,**" he scoffed.

I licked my lips. "I admit that I would like to pick your brains on the subject of seals, considering how you were inside two Uzumaki, one of whom had Namikaze Minato inside of her," at this point Kurama started laughing hysterically. I waited for him to stop and then continued, "But I'll only do that if you want to. No coercion aside from trying to be nice to you, which you are also totally free to refuse, though I feel that I should remind you that I seem to be the only one aside from Naru-chan capable of entering here. Do you know anything about that, by the way?"

He blinked. "**I thought that you were using some sort of jutsu meant to contact me.**"

I shrugged. "I just used chakra-sensing on Naru-chan and got here somehow. I figured that you had something to do with that, what with your bijū telepathy and all."

"**I can't use that unless I'm close to another ****bijū or Naruto lets me. It'd have to have been you.**"

"Huh," I said. "I'm starting to think that I was exposed to your chakra back when that intangible guy I doubt isn't actually Uchiha Obito took control of you and... absorbed it, I guess. It'd explain how my eyes can turn red and why I have more chakra than I probably should. Could be the reason behind my Shōraigan. It also sounds like the kind of stupid twist that I'd write in a Naruto SI fic, which also corroborates that theory."

Kurama stared at me, and I felt like his eyes were piercing deep into my soul. "**I don't know what that last thing you said means, but I do sense some of my chakra on you. It's disproportionally yin, which explains why you were able to use ****bijū telepathy despite not actively using any of it, but you seem to have been soaked in enough of my chakra that you now naturally produce small amounts of it.**" That was exactly my headcanon on how Sora, Ginkaku, and Kinkaku worked. I wonder why I was right. It almost seemed like I was the one writing it... "**How that happened to specifically you, I don't know, though I suppose if you were only an infant, then you'd need a lot less to get to that point. Perhaps you were just close enough to me that the chakra I gave off was enough.**"

I blinked. "Did you just... scan me?"

"**I used the link you so graciously provided me to sense your chakra, yes.**"

I tapped my lip with my finger. "Stare into the abyss and it stares back..." I muttered. "Say, what do you think I could do with your chakra?"

"**Back when I had actual yin chakra, I could use it to easily use genjutsu, at least easily for me. I have no doubts that you could use my chakra to increase your ability to use genjutsu. You could also probably use it to telepathically communicate with other humans, and perhaps even use my malice-sensing with your chakra sensing. Can I ask you a favor?**"

"Did you miss the part where I literally said that I would do things for you with no expectation of anything in return?" I snarked, giving him a flat look. "Because last I checked, that's exactly what a favor is."

He chuckled lightly. "**Because that asshole Minato sealed most of my yin chakra in himself with the Shiki Fujin, I'm currently at half power. I can't use it at the moment and I'm still cataclysmically powerful anyway, but my power is a matter of pride for me. Even now, my power is slowly regenerating, but it'd come back much faster if someone on the outside who was producing my yin chakra were to contribute. It won't be much, but it'll help. Just for added motivation, I'd have to teach you to use my yin chakra for you to do it and expending my yin chakra like that would increase not only your stores of human chakra but your ability to produce my chakra as well.**"

I licked my lips. "You do realize that you don't have to give me any motivation for me to help you like that, right?" I was silent for a moment, then thought of something. "How would I give you your yin chakra, anyway? Hiruzen had a point when he made you a secret from Naru-chan. The boy should be allowed a normal childhood."

He sighed loudly. "**Fine. ****As much as I'd like to break the boy, I suppose I have to follow your rules if you're going to help me. You should be able to slowly but steadily transfuse small amounts of yin chakra into the boy through touch. It wouldn't be enough for any form of negative repercussion, and the seal will cause my chakra in his system to flow back to me when he's not using it. All you need is to learn how to use my chakra.**"

I nodded. "Okay." I thought for a few moments. "Hey, do you think that it'd be possible for me to use some sort of jutsu to, say, temporarily transfer your mind into some form of... I don't know, plush cat maybe?"

Kurama's eyes widened. He grinned, then started to laugh. "**Heheheheh... HAHAHAHAHAHAH! I once made a seal to do exactly that after hearing Tobirama explain the Edo Tensei to my first jailor. I gave up on it after realizing that I would need someone with my chakra to use it, and there was no way that _she_ would ever agree to that. You, however?**" His grin widened. "**I don't even care how limited my freedom would be. I'd be free!**"

I smiled at him. "Good, good. I'll probably have to tell my father before we do it, though. I feel like he might want to know beforehand if I summon the mind of a giant demon fox that attacked the village to put in Fluffy-san."

He grumbled. "**I suppose. You'd better give a _very_ good argument as to why you should be allowed to do it.**"

"You said it's an idea you got from the Edo Tensei, right? I'm sure that Father would be at ease if I knew of a way to send you back without trouble."

"**There is a set of seals that releases it like the Edo Tensei, yes. Beyond that, I wouldn't have any of my powers in that body and would eventually be sent back when I run out of chakra, which means that I'd be completely dependent on you. I suggest that you tell him that.**"

I nodded. "That seems like a good enough argument, especially if I mention how you were controlled during that one incident." I walked up to the bars of his cage and held my hand out to him. He stared at it. "It's called a handshake, though for you it'd be more of a clawshake."

"**What?**"

"It's something that people do when they agree on something, or something like that. All I know for sure is that it's a sign of respect." He blinked, then slowly held a single claw out to me. I grabbed it and shook it with both hands.

"**You are most certainly the strangest human that I've ever met, and that includes the Sage of Six Paths, who had horns.**"

"Tseheheh~," I chuckled. "Is that really a bad thing?"

He huffed. "**I never said that.**"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because apparently I can't resist giving my characters new and awesome powers. Just wait and see what I'm going to do to team seven (hint: Uzumaki Naruto is an Uzumaki). As for why I gave Kurama's yin chakra genjutsu boosting, I feel like every fox should have some kind of illusion or hallucination power. Even real-life, mundane foxes. Maybe they already do and they're just really sneaky about it.
> 
> Shout out to Ashes of the Past by Saphroneth. That's what inspired the scene for how to teach chakra-sensing, though it was slightly different. It just seemed like the logical first step in sensing chakra.


	5. Chapter 5

I knocked on Father's door. "You can come in," he said. I opened the door and he looked up at me. "Ah, Kouki-kun. Do you need anything?"

I sighed as I closed the door behind me. Better to get this over with immediately. "I have something that I'd like to try, but I want someone who can see chakra to give me their opinion if I have a bit of trouble with it," I told him as I sat down. I figure that not telling your adoptive dad that you have demonic powers when he has the ability to sense demonic powers is bound to blow up in your face. Might seem far-fetched, but it is possible. "Just please don't blow up on me before I have a chance to explain," I pleaded.

"Why would I do that?" he asked.

"Just please don't." I closed my eyes and turned my chakra-sensing on myself. Just as Kurama had told me to do, I looked for the parts of my chakra that were mine, but also... not mine. I made it, but it was also Kurama's in origin. I consolidated most of it into a core in my chakra coils, which caused the rest to gravitate towards it. I could feel the shift in my powers, my two types of chakra separating so that I could use the red chakra. I tapped into that new pool of chakra, feeling some of the surprisingly calm demonic chakra bubble to the surface, gathering in the palm of my hand. I opened my eyes to faintly see the red chakra dancing like a fire on my palm. I understood why it didn't feel like I thought it would; it was based on intent. Kurama's chakra was so dangerous to Naruto because he specifically wanted to do as much harm as possible to Naruto. When bijū chakra was used without that harmful intent, however, it seemed that it was a lot more docile, which explained the lack of danger involved in Naruto using nine tails chakra mode.

I could still feel Father's gaze trying to burn a hole through my hand, though. "Kouki," he said in a voice that made it clear that he was trying his absolute best not to freak out, "why do have the chakra of the Kyūbi no Kitsune?"

I let the "foxfire" die out and nervously put my hand behind my head. "I apparently absorbed some of it when he attacked the village?"

"And how exactly did you find this out?" he asked.

"I'm going to have to explain a few things first," I told him as I put my hands on my lap.

"Why?"

I clenched the fabric of my shirt a bit. "I just have to get this out of the way because you're going to ask about it anyway," I clarified. "First, the Kyūbi was controlled by a Konoha missing-nin that night." I paused. "Does it count as a missing-nin if he was declared dead before he even had the intention of betraying the village?"

He twitched slightly. "If he dropped a bijū on the village, the answer is a resounding _yes_. I think I can see where this is going."

"Okay, so it turns out that bijū are telepathic and very sapient," I clarified.

"And there it is," he muttered. "So the Kyūbi sensed its... his?" I nodded. "His chakra on you and contacted you from his prison, is that what happened?"

"Close," I said. "First, his name is Kurama. Second, Kurama can't actually use his telepathy all that well from within the seal. I accidentally established a mental link between us by using my chakra-sensing on him, then he was able to use that to scan my chakra for traces of his power. I managed to establish myself as... an ally, I suppose. I doubt he'd consider me a friend, but he definitely warmed up to me thanks to the fact that I'm probably one of only two humans that have shown him compassion and respect as a person."

Father was silent for a few moments. "Okay." He didn't _seem_ angry, but I was still not going to provoke him. "I suppose that that's good. Is there anything else about... Kurama... that I should know about?"

I nodded. "I offered Kurama Fluffy-san's body if he knew of some way to transfer his mind to it without affecting the seal. He told me that he once thought of a jutsu that would transfer just his mind to another body, but never got the chance to use until now due to not having anyone who _would_ use it for him."

"I'd be careful, but if you say it's safe, then I'll trust you."

"It's pretty safe," I reassured him. "He'd pretty much be completely dependent on me, anyway, so there's no need to worry."

"Good," he said. "I suppose I'll have to talk to Kurama once you get him. Perhaps you should talk to Hokage-sama about this, though."

I nodded. "I'll do that." I looked into the future a bit. "I should be able to do it later tonight." I started to walk to the door. "Thanks for not blowing up on me."

kukukuku~

"Come on, Kouki-chan!" the excitable blond shouted as he dragged me along with him, unsuspecting of the yin chakra that was seeping into his chakra network. I felt a little bad about it, but it wasn't hurting him and it was doing the opposite to Kurama, so the feeling passed quickly.

"You don't have to tug so hard, Naru-chan," I complained. "Where are we going, anyway?" I already knew what it was (stupid spoilers), but Naru-chan seemed so excited to show me, so I played dumb.

He grinned at me. "You'll see!" He proceeded to drag me through the village until we reached a ramen stall. I'd never seen it in person, but I recognized it immediately. "Ta-daaaaah!" Naru-chan exclaimed.

"Ichiraku Ramen," I read flatly. "You found a ramen stand." I shrugged. "It's lunchtime anyway. Are we eating here?" Naruto answered by walking under the cloth... flap things. What are those called? There's probably a name for them but I don't know it. I walked in after him and took a seat next to him.

"Ah, Naruto-kun," the kind-looking man behind the counter said. "Is this that Kouki boy you told me about?" Naruto nodded vigorously. Teuchi chuckled. "It's good to meet you, Kouki-kun. Do you two boys want some ramen?"

"Thank you," I muttered. "And thank you also for being kind to Naru-chan, Ichiraku-san."

Teuchi nodded. "It's all good! And call me Teuchi. My name... just isn't Ichiraku..." He served us two bowls of ramen.

"How much is it?" I asked, reaching into my pocket for the storage seal wallet that I'd made with some help.

"On the house," he said, pushing the bowl towards me.

I shook my head. "I have plenty of money and the only other things that I have to spend all of it on is candy and books, seeing how Father provided me with sealing material. Let me pay you."

"I'm surprised you'd want to pay for your food if I was offering to give it for free," he said.

"That's a really offensive stereotype," I jokingly said. He acquiesced after some sounds of confusion and I gave him the money I insisted I owed him. Only after that did I touch the noodles that I paid for. Let me just say this; comparing instant ramen to Ichiraku ramen would be like comparing fruit snacks to Dove chocolate. Sure, they're both good, but you just don't. I could definitely see how Naruto became so fixated on ramen if Teuchi kept giving him free food. "I still feel like I'm not paying enough for this," I commented. "It tastes so good." Though I must say, the noodles reminded me of spaghetti, which I also would not have turned down. I would have killed for spaghetti. Or garlic bread. Or calamari. "_Calamariiiii..._" I thought.

"I know, right?" Naru-chan said through the noodles in his mouth, knocking me out of my Italian tangent thoughts.

I sighed. "Please swallow your food before talking, Naru-chan." He was starting to remind me of my little sister, which made me a little melancholy. The lack of table manners didn't help, seeing as she did that constantly. I was really starting to miss her, even if her inability to swallow before talking constantly got on my nerves. I pushed that thought aside as fast as it emerged. It wouldn't do to randomly start crying over no reason. I ate my ramen in silence, listening to Naruto's antics, occasionally nodding and grunting to confirm that I was still listening, and pouring a little more yin chakra into Naruto whenever I had a chance. "Thank you for the food, Teuchi-san," I said when we both finished, then stood up. "Let's go, Naruto. I'll buy you candy."

"Aw yeah, 'ttebayo!" he said as he followed after me.

kukukuku~

I waited until I could feel his chakra approaching, then took a bite of my apple. Fuji apples are good. The Hokage entered the room to the sight of me sitting down on the ceiling and eating an apple. "'Sup," I said.

His eye twitched slightly. "Did you wait to start eating your apple specifically so that I would walk into the room as you started?" he sighed.

I chuckled, swallowed (somehow), and said, "I need to talk to you about something."

"I guessed from the fact that you were on my ceiling," he said drily. "Do you want to get down from there so we can talk?"

I smiled smugly and used chakra threads extending from my tree-walking jutsu to lower myself down from the ceiling like some sort of spider (or some sort of Spider-Man). It wasn't something that I would've been comfortable doing before that day, but with the demonic chakra in my system gathered in one place and not just randomly flowing through my chakra network, my control felt a lot better. At first, I'd been a little worried by the fact that I felt like I had less chakra than normal, but then I realized that that was just the lack of demonic chakra and that my human chakra hadn't really changed much and, if anything, had actually increased slightly. "So it turns out I was right about Tobi being Obito," I said. "You remember who I'm talking about, right? The guy who ripped Kurama out of Kushina and made him go on a rampage through the village."

"I know all that," the old man confirmed. "Why are you bringing this up?"

I sat down and took another bite of my apple. "Turns out that I got some of Kurama's chakra when he was rampaging around town somehow," I told him after I swallowed. I made absolutely sure to judge his expression, chakra, and even malice to see if I needed to stop acting so casual, then relaxed when I didn't see anything to be worried about. "So with that, I managed to accidentally contact Kurama, which is how I found out about my inner demon."

"Of course you would accidentally do that," Sarutobi muttered. "Is that what you wanted to tell me?" he asked.

I nodded. "That and the fact that I managed to befriend him and got him to tell me a way to summon only his mind outside of Naruto's seal and into an object of my choosing, which I am going to use to get him to teach me more about seals. I figure that with his help, I can figure out a way to help Gaara pretty easy."

"Good," he said. "Though while we're on the subject of your plans, what are you going to do about the Uchiha incident?"

I shrugged. "Honestly, most of my plan was just 'tell the Hokage about it in as much detail as possible and make him sort it out because he's the one who leads the village.' Sure, I'm going to be pulling some strings from the shadows, but I don't have many strings to pull at the moment."

He nodded. "And what of the Fourth Great Ninja War?"

"That one's easy," I said. "Protect as many of the Edo Tensei victims as possible, with special attention on the jinchuriki. Aside from that, try to dissuade the other members of Akatsuki so I don't have to kill them or invent some form of soul-stealing jutsu so that they can't be brought back, make sure Tenzō doesn't get put in the Zetsu batter, make sure the Zetsu can't do any transformation surprise attacks, and make sure that it's easier for the Allied Shinobi Forces to get rid of the Edo Tensei."

"You don't want to stop the war altogether?"

I'd actually put some thought into that one. "I'm fine if we end up stopping the war, but if we can just make it easier and reduce casualties significantly, then I feel like we might end up with a more peaceful relationship between the hidden villages, which is definitely good."

Hiruzen thought over that for a bit. "You'd make a good Hokage, you know," he told me. I just started laughing at that.

"Nope," I told him when I was done chuckling. "I am _not_ dealing with all that paperwork. I'm totally fine being a surprisingly competent advisor unless nobody else competent enough to run the village is in the running for the hat."

He sighed. "And I suppose you have a similar view on eventually becoming ANBU?"

I rolled my eyes at that. "Like I could act serious long enough to do that. I'll just become such a good ninja that nobody can complain about anything I do so long as it's not actively treason."

"What do you mean by that?"

I licked my lips. "Jiraiya's a trash human being and I don't even know if he's even been in the village since Minato died, but nobody says anything about it because he's-as much as I hate to admit it-a decently competent shinobi."

"Why do you hate Jiraiya so much?" he asked with what sounded like a bit of worry in his voice.

I fixed him with my best demonic glare, using a very small amount of my demonic chakra to force my eyes to turn red. "Aside from him being a walking, talking pile of garbage who seems to only be able to think about anything other than naked women for about three hours per day, there's the fact that he has and will continue to severely neglect Naruto. Despite him being Naruto's _godfather_ and knowing it, Naruto doesn't even know the man and will continue to not know him for about nine years, at which point I do admit Jiraiya will teach him some things, but not nearly **enough**." That last word came out sounding very demonic and was punctuated by me involuntarily squeezing my apple hard enough that it, unfortunately, exploded. That was probably because my red chakra spiked from my heightened emotions. "I'm blaming Jiraiya for that, too," I said offhandedly, then began licking up the apple juice dripping from my hand.

"What... What do you mean, not enough?" he asked.

"I admit that he starts out strong," I explained, "showing him how to walk on water and giving him the toad summoning scroll, but he then derailed himself by just teaching him how to use Kurama's chakra to summon Gamabunta and not giving him any more instruction on what he can do with the summoning jutsu. Rasengan was fine, can't complain about that one. Then he takes Naruto on a three-year-long training trip where he teaches Naruto a couple of better tactics for using shadow clones, how to fight a little better, a bigger Rasengan, and how to dispel genjutsu."

Sarutobi frowned. "It took three years to do that? That doesn't seem like it'd take that long."

"I agree," I agreed (heh). "I admit that he also tried and failed to teach Naruto how to harness Kurama's power, but he gave up on that after getting a scar almost as bad as All Might's. I'm pretty sure that most of the trip Jiraiya spent his time writing books and ogling women, and then occasionally giving Naruto his manuscripts to edit while he 'gathered information.'" I used air quotes around "gathered information" because what am I, a peasant? "Considering how fast Naru-chan learns things like Wind Release, Rasengan, and even things like _Sage Mode_, there is no excuse for Naruto to have not come out of that three-year trip without at least one long-range jutsu to make use of that ridiculous amount of chakra he has, which would have been supremely useful for him, plus at least a basic knowledge of fuinjutsu. So yeah, Jiraiya's an awful teacher. I'd also like to say that Jiraiya thought nothing of taking Naru-chan's hard-earned money to buy prostitutes and booze, I'd totally do a better job being a father figure for Naru-chan than Jiraiya ever could, and I'm more mature than him, so you can just let him keep screwing around until he meets up with Naruto. I'll deal with him then."

The Hokage sighed and rubbed his temples. "That... that lines up with the number of times I had to discipline him when he was a Jōnin sensei..."

I gave him a flat look. "Why did you ever think he would make a good Jōnin sensei?"

"In my defense, he seemed a little more mature after coming back from Ame, so I thought that making him teach more children would make him get serious. His reasoning behind not wanting to parent Naruto-kun, by the way, was that any of Minato-kun's enemies would put two and two together immediately if Jiraiya were to start taking care of an infant with blonde hair and blue eyes."

"Okay, I respect that and the reason he didn't say of 'I'm not fit to be within fifty meters of anyone below the age of eighteen,' but couldn't he have at least arranged for someone who doesn't hate Naru-chan to pick up the slack? I thought he was a spymaster."

"I don't know, but I highly doubt that anything of the sort ever occurred to him."

"Figures," I said. I tilted my head to the left. The guard that I was tracking to tell when to leave was reaching the position he was in when the next opening was going to arrive. "Gotta go," I said. "I'm sure you'll be fine with what you have so far!" I jumped out the window at exactly the right time, then finally managed to pull my Tree-Swing Jutsu out in midair to swing off into the night.

Sarutobi looked at the puddle that smelled faintly of sweet apples. "You could've at least cleaned up the apple that you exploded," he muttered.

kukukuku~

"Why did you have Hiashi-sama come to watch our spar today?" Neji asked me as he walked to the opposite side of the room from me. True enough, Father was sitting off to the side, watching us.

I grinned. "I've got a new..." I trailed off and thought for a moment. "Let's go with calling it a new jutsu for now. I wanted Father here so that he could observe it and maybe even see if there's anything I should improve. That and he can tell me if my blows are starting to get too dangerous," I answered, then gave the seal of confrontation. Neji mirrored me, then got into his stance. Instead of getting into a combat stance, I continued to remain loose.

Neji frowned. "You should get into your stance," he said. Then he activated his Byakugan. I grinned, licked my lips, and concentrated on the demonic energy hiding within my chakra coils. It bubbled up for a few seconds, then I unleashed it and it flowed throughout my body. Unlike before, when it had just been in my chakra network, now it was being directed to flow through my body with my normal chakra, which was a little different. I felt the odd feeling behind my eyes that happened whenever they turned red and smirked at Neji when he gasped. I just smirked, slowly lowered my sunglasses to my eyes, and made a "come at me" gesture. He ran towards me and hit empty air with his palm when I seemed to disappear from where I'd been standing. I looked down on him from above and kicked at his head with my newfound strength. He just barely managed to get his arms up to block, thanks to his Byakugan, but still winced and took a step back from the force. I used his arms as a springboard to jump back and landed on all fours as he stumbled backward from the force. He growled at me and I sprang at him with a fist ready. He sent a palm out to try and intercept me but I easily caught his wrist and used it to pivot into a kick, which caught him in the gut.

It wasn't really a surprise that it was that easy, considering the fact that I'd managed to train up over the weeks to the point where I was almost a match for Neji. Even my relatively very minor Biju boost was more than enough to be very dangerous to someone who wasn't expecting it. When Neji recovered, he made a few signs that I recognized as the clone jutsu signs and ran circles around me as he multiplied a couple of times. Unfortunately for him, I could feel the minor amount of malice generated from his annoyance over my having kicked him even without extending my senses thanks to the demonic yin chakra running through my body like how Naruto did it, but with a lot less chakra thanks to my comparatively higher amount of yin chakra. I couldn't yet pick someone out in a crowd, but telling someone's general direction was another matter altogether. Speaking of my higher yin chakra, I used it to seallessly form an illusion by combining Kakashi's and Kurama's lessons to me on genjutsu. I then made a few nonsense seals, followed by that hand-clapping seal that Tenzō often uses when he does wood release. I smirked at every Neji's look of absolute confusion as I pulled my hands apart to reveal the wooden staff forming from my palms, his Byakugan failing to detect anything wrong with the scene apart from me using a Kekkei Genkai with only one known user who was most certainly not me. And dead.

Then the illusion shattered as my knee dug into his gut thanks to me _launching_ myself at him. I actually winced a little because that looked like it hurt a lot. The fake Nejis all poofed as the real Neji was launched into the wall. "Hate..." he groaned, then slumped over and continued with, "you..." I wasn't really worried about that because I couldn't detect any actual hate behind his words, just the annoyance of me having kneed him in the gut.

I stopped the flow of demonic chakra and pushed my glasses back up onto my hair. "Might have overdone that a little, sorry..." I apologized.

"Owwww..." Neji agreed. I chuckled sheepishly, then turned to Father.

"That was impressive," he said. "Obviously, it should be considered a last resort, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't cultivate it at all."

I nodded. "I'm going to want to up my red chakra a lot, too. It'd be nice to manifest a proper cloak eventually." I then looked back over to where Neji was groaning on the floor. "Plus," I added, "I've thought of a few other uses for it too." I walked over to Neji and began molding demonic yang chakra, which was just like molding demonic yin chakra, but in reverse. I'd already tested the basis of the jutsu that I was about to use on myself, so I already knew that I could do it in theory, but I wanted to practice it on someone else in a relatively low-danger environment. I placed my hand on his back and poured the chakra into Neji, almost like how I was empowering Kurama in Naruto but also with a bit of a twist. I "watched" with my chakra-sensing as his body greedily accepted the power I gave it, then automatically began using it on the areas I'd hit. Neji sat up and patted one of the areas I'd kicked him, surprised at how it stopped hurting, presumably. "You're welcome," I said when he gave me a questioning look. Then I sighed and asked, to nobody in particular, "I know I don't have as much yang chakra as I do yin chakra, but how was that almost as draining as the entire fight?"

"What was that?" Father asked.

I grinned. "Demonic yang chakra has a potent regenerative effect. I just dumped some into Neji and forced his body to expend it all on healing." I noticed that Neji was done healing, but he still had some red chakra left. "Can I test something real quick?" I asked.

"Sure, why not?" Neji asked. "You just tested a jutsu that literally involved pumping demonic chakra into my body without asking permission, but sure." I shrugged, grabbed his hand, and made a small cut with Cat Claws. The cut immediately started to steam and closed up almost immediately. "Oh," he said.

"That's what I thought," I muttered. "It's not just healing, but also gives a temporary healing factor if there's leftover chakra... I don't suppose you'll consent to me maintaining your healing factor so I can get more yang chakra? And don't worry, the only possible side-effect I can think of from prolonged exposure would be a permanent healing factor."

"Okay, that actually sounds useful," Neji agreed.

"Cool," I said, then licked my lips. "Now I just need to find a name for the jutsu that makes it sound demonic despite being a healing jutsu..."

"Why does it have to sound demonic?" Father asked.

I rolled my eyes. "I have facial markings that make it look like I'm constantly wearing eyeshadow, I wear all dark colors, someone has called me a demon child, I'm literally friends with a giant demon, I have some of the power of said demon inside me, and I've unironically enjoyed listening to MCR," I listed. "It's gotta sound demonic." They both fell over. Because why not.

kukukuku~

I hugged Fluffy-san for the final time and put him in the middle of the sealing ritual thing. "Goodbye, old friend," I said to him.

"**I was only in one scene aside from this ****and I'm just a figment of your imagination**," "he" "said" flatly.

"But what a scene it was," I said faux-dramatically. I licked my lips as I made a series of seals and put Kurama's yin chakra into the toy cat. "Goodnight, sweet prince, and flights of demons sing thee to thy rest..." The sealing array that I'd spent a few whole days painstakingly memorizing and gaining an understanding of enough to use lit up bloodred and moved up to Fluffy-san's back, where they condensed into a small seal with the kanji for nine in the middle before fading from view. "Demon Soul Summoning Jutsu," I intoned. The plush cat's eyes began to glow red (heh, the Kyubi looks like Kyubey) and it twitched before getting up of his own accord.

"**This is weird**," Neko-Kurama muttered to himself as he stretched out his new body with far more flexibility than it should have. Though to be fair he also shouldn't have been able to move. "**I'm here, but I'm still in the seal. I can feel both at once...**"

"Everything okay?" I asked with a smile.

He looked up at me, then back down at his body, then around my room. "**It's... perfect**," he said, and I got the feeling he'd have been on the verge of tears if he had tear ducts. And bodily fluids. I grinned and picked him up. "**Wha-HEY!**" he protested.

I giggled. "That's good. You should be able to roam around the house like a housecat if you want to. I've already dealt with that. Though, fair warning, you might have to pretend to be my science project around people who aren't me, my father, and the Hokage."

He jumped down from my hands and harrumphed. "**Thank you, human. I can walk around on my _own_, though.**" His attempt to look dignified was hampered slightly by how adorable he looked.

I pet him, and he harrumphed again before leaning into it. "I just think you're so cute," I told him. He glared at me and I smiled back. "I got an idea from feeling the jutsu that I wanna try. You're free to help me if you want to, but I just want to make it clear again that you can do what you want to."

He walked over to the door (oh my gosh he looked so adorable) and turned back around to look at me. "**I might decide to give you some more of my knowledge later if you _really_ need my help that much, but for now I'm going to enjoy the first freedom I've had in many, many years.**" He walked out the door after I opened it for him, then paused, twitched his tail, and said, "**And thank you, Kouki,**" he said.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, this chapter takes place a little over a month after the last one. Wasn't sure how to say that in the chapter proper.

I stuck my hands in my pockets and licked my lips as I looked up at the cloudy sky. "So you said that we're going to meet with a friend of yours?" I asked.

"Yes," Father said. "Inuzuka Tsume. She was one of my teammates back when we were genin, and currently the head of the Inuzuka clan." He ruffled Hinata's hair. "Considering their ages and how well the Inuzuka and Hyūga can work together, it's most likely that Hinata-chan and her youngest child will also be in the same genin team."

"I-I'll do my best!" Hinata said.

I smiled. "I'm sure you'll do fine," I contributed. "You're way better than you think you are." I brushed my bangs out of my eye. They were getting to the point where they weren't entirely curving away from my eye, though that didn't really bother me that much. I like my hair long. Plus, there are a looot of characters in Naruto with hair over one eye, so who am I to go against that trend? I closed my eyes and started humming a happy tune _(All dead, all dead, all the dreams we had)_, when... something brushed on my burgeoning negativity senses, though I couldn't really tell much about it because I wasn't trying to sense anything.

"Two women raising a child?" I overheard. "You make me sick." I opened my eyes and sighed. I looked over to where I heard and felt the evil and saw three women. One of them, who was the source of the hate and presumably the hateful comment, was looking at the other two with a scornful look in her eyes and holding... was that a young Tenten? Huh, guess that's what author me decided to do about Tenten having about zero background information aside from wanting to be Tsunade and liking weaponry. Yeah, the lady was gripping the maybe young Tenten by the wrist and I could see that she looked really afraid. Stranger danger, kids. The other two women, who I decided were probably Tenten's mothers, began to give off the appropriate amount of hate that one would expect from a pair of mothers whose four-or-so-year-old daughter was snatched by a homophobe, and it showed. Mom number one looked like an older version of Tenten in everything but clothing and the fact that she only had one bun and mom letter A was a shorter orange-haired woman who wore the same sort of Chinese-style clothes that Tenten wore. "Give her back," mom letter A snarled, cracking her knuckles. Mom number one echoed the sentiment. At this point, my training consisting entirely of my Soc teacher showing the class a bunch of episodes of_ What Would You Do?_ and had us write a small assignment each time instead of doing actual work kicked in and I swiftly-but-silently walked over to the homophobic woman and grabbed _her_ wrist with a red chakra-enhanced vice grip.

**"_No_,"** I said, growling at her with red eyes. She recoiled in fear, letting go of young Tenten's wrist. As one might expect, Tenten immediately retreated to and began hiding behind her mothers. I relaxed my face, but kept my eyes the same. "Why exactly do you think what you just did was right? Especially the attempted child abduction?" I asked the lady.

She tried to yank her wrist away, but I slowly licked my lips and let her struggle for a bit before letting go. She haughtily scoffed like I, a small child, hadn't just vice-gripped her hard enough to leave a red mark. "It's unnatural and no child should be subjected to that. She should be sent back to the orphanage."

I used a neato trick that Kurama taught me to send hate at her with what little I knew of Bijū Telepathy. "First, I don't believe it's something 'unnatural' or 'wrong.' Second, I've been to the orphanage. It's not something I'd send someone to because I don't agree with who the parents are unless the parents are abusive or something." I took another "look" at the family's chakra. "Third, I would like to say that from the feel of their chakra, I think that the daughter is somehow related to both of them, so I think she might have never been in the orphanage to begin with." It was just a suspicion I had, but considering the feel of Tenten's and mom letter A's chakras weren't quite as close as Tenten's and mom number one's, I decided that mom letter A was a relative of Tenten's biological father. Maybe a sister or close cousin? At any rate, something about their similarities in chakra felt... familiar. I couldn't quite put my finger on it... "So the only bad person here is you," I continued. "Leave."

Evil woman clearly didn't like my tone of voice. Or my logical argument as to why she was a horrible person. "You little brat! I'll kill you!"

"You'll do nothing of the sort," Father said with an edge to his voice. He'd come over at some time during the argument, with Hinata hiding behind him. "I don't like the tone you've taken with my son."

She winced and tugged at her collar. "At least you'd agree with me when I say that those two women are deviants for being... together?"

"I honestly don't know why you might think that," Father mused. "I suppose we seem traditional most of the time, but the Hyūga have had a long history of supporting LGBT rights and love in general." He gave a small smirk that had all of the energy of a Cheshire Cat smile. "In fact, I'd like to say that I am not at all ashamed to admit that, when we were both genin, I had feelings for Namikaze Minato." The woman that I was now memorizing the face and chakra signature of for the specific purpose of giving her a hard time were I to ever see her without her immediately noping out of there scoffed and stomped off. "Are you four okay?" he asked.

"That was fun," I said, then realized how that could be insensitive that could be to the little girl who was almost abducted and her parents. "Sorry, are you three okay?"

Mom number one (I really needed to learn their names) smiled. "That was nice of you, kid. What's your name?"

"Hyūga Kouki," I said. "He's my father and the little one is my sister, Hinata." Before I was about to make any more witty remarks, I was surprise-glomped by a four-year-old.

"That was so cool!" Tenten exclaimed. "You totally saved me!" I noticed that up close, her otherwise dark brown-looking hair had a red glint with the right lighting like mine. Just in case, I compared her chakra to mine to see if that was what the familiar bit to her chakra was. I was glad at myself to see that any similarity between our chakras was minimal, a bit like the similarity I noticed between Naruto and an Uchiha that I'd seen. Like we were descendants of two siblings from Ōtsutsuki Hagoromo's ti-

"_Wait a minute_," I thought. I used my chakra sensing on Tenten and mom letter A. Prodigious chakra capacity, disproportionate physical energy, and a bit of a sunny feel to it. For both of them. I thought about what I knew about how Tenten fights from canon. Seals all of her weapons in scrolls and has the stamina to keep up with Neji the prodigy, Lee the genius of hard work, and Maito Guy. Plus, mom number A had orange hair. "_They're Uzumaki, aren't they?_" I thought even as mom letter A started talking.

"My name's Uzumaki Ai." I fricking called it. "My..." she blushed slightly and tittered like a schoolgirl with her first crush, "_girlfriend_ here is named Tenko." Great naming, me. Note the sarcasm, readers.

"And the girl hugging Kouki-kun is my little daughter, Tenten," Tenko said.

"Potentially touchy question," I said flatly, acting like there wasn't a little girl who was a little taller than me still hugging me. I gave Tenten a look and she let go.

Tenko sighed. It was more of a sad sigh and not a some-rude-kid-is-about-to-ask-me-a-potentially-touchy-question sigh. "Her father was... severely injured in the Kyūbi attack. He told me not to feel bad if I fell in love with someone else before he died..." I nodded. Yeah, that seemed like something I'd write. Tenko looked thoughtful for a moment. "If you don't mind _me_ asking a potentially touchy question," she said, "why were you so willing to jump in? Not that it's bad to do that, but I wouldn't have thought that a little kid would be like that."

I grunted, then licked my lips. "I hate people who judge others without getting to know them at all, just basing their entire opinion on something that has no bearing on their character or that they have no control over." I closed my eyes and shrugged. "I don't know exactly where it comes from, but I think that the fact that over half the village hating my best friend for something that happened on the day of his birth and was masterminded by someone else had something to do with it." I gave Tenko and Ai a piercing stare and noticed that Tenten had completely stopped following the conversation. "I don't suppose you two realize that Naruto-chan is totally innocent of the attack that happened mere minutes after his birth, do you?" I gave Ai a bitter smile and tilted my head to the side. "'Course, given the fact that I'm pretty sure that the two of you are the only remnants of the Uzumaki clan but I haven't even sensed you anywhere near him makes that seem unlikely."

She sighed and stood there for a minute. "You're right, I should have taken him in. My brother died in the attack, but that doesn't change the fact that I turned my back on a kid who had nowhere else to go and is actually family." She looked at Tenko and smiled. "Honey, do you think Tenten-chan would like a little brother?" I could tell what the answer was when Tenten turned to her mother and stared at her with puppy dog eyes. Not Puppy Dog Eyes(TM), but close.

Tenko chuckled. "I think I'd like to have a son." Tenten squeed and jumped up and down in happiness. Then she grabbed me and Hinata in a big hug. "Well, we should probably get going with that. I don't even know where to start..."

"Go to the Hokage," Father suggested. "Considering his importance, Hokage-sama would get involved anyway."

I raised my hand. "And if you _really_ want to speed it up, tell the secretary to tell Sarutobi-san that Hyūga Kouki sent you." Ai, Tenko, and Tenten looked at me quizzically. "And if she doesn't believe you, tell her to tell the him that Sarutobi Asuma should never fight a man with a three-bladed scythe. That should speed the process up. I think that we might have go to soon. Good luck."

Father stiffened slightly. "Right, I was taking Hinata-chan and Kouki-kun to meet a friend of mine and we really should be going. I hope that we will get to know each other in the future, considering the fact that my son is friends with the boy you're hoping to adopt, but if you will excuse us, we must be leaving now." He looked at Tenten. "If you could release my children, please?" Tenten stopped hugging us and we parted ways. A few minutes later, Father said, "You planned that, didn't you."

I covered my mouth with a hand as I grinned and did my weird snicker that sounds like I'm hissing and I decided to mess with him. "However do you suggest I did that, Father?" I asked in a voice that made it sound like I totally _did_ plan it, even though in this one case I totally hadn't. "Such a feat would require me to have some way to know that they were going to be there beforehand." He gave me a flat look. "Sometimes, when you do good things purely out of the kindness of your heart," I continued, "events line up so nicely that people think that you planned it." He raised an eyebrow. I licked my lips and pulled out the small, featureless puppet that I'd bought to test a certain jutsu I was trying to make and started playing around with it using chakra threads. What? Just because I don't plan on using puppet ninjutsu in battle doesn't mean that I should never learn it. "Yeah, I like being all puppetmaster-y, but I really can't take credit for this one. It's just luck."

"That's so cool, Kouki-niisan!" Hinata said as she looked at my puppet. I grinned and made it bow before putting it away.

"Thaaaank you," I said. "Let's go see Father's friend now."

kukukuku~

Tsume guffawed as she looked at me. "So this is the little ankle-biter you saddled yourself with, eh Hiashi?" she said with a grin. To his credit, I was only able to bend my spine an acute angle to the side before Father said, "Please don't bite my ankle, Kouki-kun." This naturally made Tsume howl with laughter and then smile at me. "You're alright, kid!"

"Thank you, Inuzuka-san," I said with a small grin. "You seem nice too. Should I go introduce myself to your son?" I asked.

"Go ahead, kid." She grabbed Kiba by the head and lightly shoved him at me, then looked at the nine-year-old Hana. "You should talk to them too, kiddo. I heard Kouki's got some sort of healing jutsu, so you could talk to him about that."

"Hello," I said as she walked over. "Can I pet your puppies," I asked, pointing at the three husky puppies that were trailing behind her.

"Sure," she said with a smile. I bent down and rubbed two of them behind the ears, cooing in a totally not weird way. "Their names are Hashirama, Tobirama, and Hiruzen. We call them the Haimaru triplets."

"After the first three Hokage," I assumed.

"Umm..." Hinata said quietly. "C-can I..." Hana picked up the puppy I wasn't petting and gave him to Hinata. "Thanks..." Kiba walked up to her and started chatting to her about... something. I stopped paying attention, so I'm not sure what.

Hana crouched down next to me and began petting... I think he was Tobirama? "So what was my mom saying about you knowing a healing jutsu?" she asked me.

I shrugged. "Unfortunately it's not the sort of jutsu just anyone can use, if that's what you were hoping for. You have to have a certain special chakra that you don't have, sorry."

She sighed. "Can't be helped. I want to learn medical ninjutsu so I can be a veterinarian. I like animals, so I thought it'd be a nice goal."

I nodded as I started scratching Hiruzen's tummy. "Being any kind of healer is a worthy aspiration," I muttered. "And animals are nice, though I suppose I shouldn't have to say that to an Inuzuka, should I?" She laughed. "I want to learn medical ninjutsu too, but really, mine is just for curiosity." I closed my eyes and chuckled as Hiruzen started licking my fingers. Then I rubbed my fingers on the "skirt" my shirt when he was done. "Mine must seem petty compared to yours, huh?"

She shrugged. "I still think that it's nice to want to learn stuff like that." She chuckled. "Even if it's just curiosity. So what exactly is that healing jutsu of yours?"

I grinned and lit the tip of my finger with a bit of red chakra. "It's a bit of a long story, but I think it's an interesting one..." We chatted for a while. I think I actually made a friend! Plus, it looked like Hinata was having fun with Kiba, so that's good.

kukukuku~

Ai and Tenko walked into that one meeting room of the Hokage's. "You wanted to see us again?" Tenko asked.

"Yes," he said. "Please, sit down." The couple sat down on one of the sofas, with Ai resting her head on Tenko's shoulder, which was really adorable. "There are a few more things that I'd like to discuss with the two of you before you adopt Naruto-kun. It's very important."

"Let's hear it," Ai said as she got a little more comfortable nuzzling Tenko.

"For one, I think you should learn who his father was before you take him in," I said as I sauntered out of the shadows and dropped my very-horrible-but-still-at-least-somewhat-usable Transparency Jutsu. It really only made me a little translucent, really more like stained glass than glass, and there was still an unfortunate amount of disturbance when I moved, but with my dark clothes, the partial tan that I had from actually spending time in the sun, and the shadows, the ability of standing so incredibly still that I become invisible to the eye was easy and attainable, even if I still couldn't eat any zargnuts while doing it. "His name was Namikaze Minato, maybe you've heard of him." I flopped down on the other sofa and sprawled out on the entire thing.

Everyone was silent for a moment as Tenko and Ai looked at me incredulously. After a few seconds, Ai broke the silence by saying, "Not that I'm mad or anything because you're a nice kid, but what the hell are you doing here?"

Sarutobi cleared his throat. "To cut a long story short, I made young Kouki here my advisor because he has the ability to see the future. This is an S-rank secret that should be even more strongly guarded than Naruto's status as a jinchuriki and his heritage." I winked and flashed my open eye at them.

"Okay, so what was that about Naruto's father being the fourth Hokage?" Tenko asked. I took the pictures of Minato and Naruto that I'd prepared for that particular reason and waved them so that the corners hit each other a few times and raised my eyebrows slightly. "No, I see that now." She paused. "Actually I'm surprised that not more people have made that connection..."

"People see what they want to see," I stated with a scowl and red eyes. "Any relation to the heroic Fourth aside from 'murderer of' would get in the way of the idea that most of the villagers seem to have built up of how Naruto is a monstrous demon and not a young boy hated by over half the village for the monster sealed inside him to save said village." I scoffed. "_Ingrates."_

After a few minutes of utter silence, Tenko said, "I'd like to ask why nobody's ever tried to inform the village about his father, then."

I shrugged. "This guy," I pointed at Hiruzen, "decided that Naruto's parents have made some enemies and they aren't around to protect him anymore, so why not just cover up who his parents were, and not even tell him 'til he's either chūnin or sixteen. I begrudgingly accepted his reasoning on the condition that we make sure that Naruto's life isn't completely horrible and he doesn't learn about the Kyūbi or his parentage in completely traumatic circumstances."

"I would have preferred it if you didn't phrase it like that," Hiruzen said, "but that's about it. There's another matter, this one something that Kouki-kun was rather insistent on telling you."

Aiko nodded. "Spill, kid."

I sat up. Kinda. I didn't actually sit like a proper young lady, but at least I wasn't lying down on the sofa, right? "Something you guys should probably know looong before it actually becomes relevant." I tossed them the picture of Obito from when he had to have his ID photo taken. "His name is Uchiha Obito. Pronounced KIA in the Third Ninja War after a cave-in. In actuality, he was abducted by Uchiha Madara, implanted with the genetic material of the First to repair the damage from the cave-in, and groomed to take on Madara's mission. Part of this mission was apparently to attack the village using his Sharingan to control Kyūbi about three-and-a-half years ago."

Tenko sighed. "I suppose it's a little hard to swallow, but so is a young boy with the ability to see the future, so I'm willing to believe you. Why did you want us to know this?"

I lazily bobbed my head. "First, there's the fact that, even if you have the best intentions, the two of you lost a loved one in the Obito attack, so it might've been hard for you to fully put aside the feelings from that if you believed that the thing responsible for that was sitting under your roof inside the boy you adopted. And that would be bad. Second, I plan on eventually getting Naruto-chan and Kurama-chan to make friends with each other, so you two thinking Kurama-chan is a mindless beast might interfere with that." Ai raised her hand. "Kurama's the Kyūbi and yes we are friends," I answered. "Third, you two really should know all the facts."

"Thanks for that, then, kid," Ai said. "Is there anything else we should know?"

I grumbled. "I was gonna tell you two about Jiraiya, but _someone_," I looked at Hiruzen, "already told you."

"How did you..." Tenko started to say, but then trailed off. "Right, future vision. I'm starting to realize that 'getting to know each other' wasn't the only reason Hyūga-san had for wanting to get some drinks with us after this." I smiled at the compliment.

"Where is young Tenten, anyway?" Hiruzen asked. "I figured she was waiting outside, but if you're going out for drinks..."

"I love shadow clones," Ai said blissfully. "They're just... _so useful_."

He nodded. "I agree. If I'm not mistaken, I'm getting done twice the amount of paperwork that I used to, and I'm not even in my office."

"Though, should we be drinking after learning such sensitive information?" Tenko asked. "I love you, Ai, but you can't really hold your alcohol very well."

Ai blushed. "N-no I don't! You can't hold your alcohol very well!"

I looked into the future a bit, hiss-chuckled at Ai's drunken shenanigans, and said, "Ai-san should be fine, though you should keep your guard up just in case. I believe we're done here, you two should go unless you have anything else to ask or declare." As I expected, they didn't, and so summarily left, thanking the two of us as they did. I slouched into the sofa some more and tossed Hiruzen a scroll. "Suna agreed to let me take a crack at Gaara, right? And about the issue of payment, tell the Kazekage that I'm doing it half out of the kindness of my heart and half to hone my skills with fuinjutsu, so I'm fine if he can't pay me too much relative to the skill level of the job." I shrugged. "Though I _would_ like it if he had any scrolls on jutsu, preferably Wind Release, that he'd be willing to give me." He opened the scroll and made to say something, but I cut him off by saying, "You've probably noticed by now, but I screen any meeting where we discuss sensitive information beforehand. Might need to take a nap tomorrow, even though I slept last night."

"Did you already find a seal to fix Gaara?" Hiruzen asked incredulously as he stared at the scroll.

"_Nein_," I sighed. "As great as that would've been, we both know that I need more information on his seal to even _attempt_ anything more than a temporary countermeasure. That's just something I whipped up a few weeks ago with Kurama-chan's help to deal with the situation for now."

"You really like preparing for everything, don't you?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Just the things that I can think of. Besides, I doubt I'll hear you complaining when I know what to do if Danzō challenges you to a dance-off with the winner becoming Hokage, will I?"

He gave me a flat look. "Kouki-kun, did you get into my secret stash of brownies? Because you really shouldn't eat those."

I blinked. "No I did not. Just going to pretend you never said that."

"If anyone asks, it's for my back."

"Just make sure it doesn't interfere with your work," I advised. "The solution to that problem," I said like he hadn't said anything hinting at drug use, "is to just laugh him out of the office because the Hokage is not chosen based solely on one's ability to get down and boogie, but at the same time make sure that you could theoretically beat him in a dance-off. And try to engineer events so that, if Danzō has his... modifications... at the time of the dance-off, those modifications get unveiled in public and in front of a captive audience, thus casting suspicion onto his character."

He grunted. "A sensible answer to a nonsensical problem. What about the current problem of Gaara, by the way?"

I nodded and slipped into Serious Mode (yes, I have one of those), and then actually _did_ sit up like a proper young lady. "Write this down. That scroll contains instructions to make and an example of the Inner Demon Calming Seal, a one-use seal of my and Kurama's invention that forcibly suppresses red chakra in any being with red chakra that is not a Bijū - i.e. me or a jinchuriki - by way of using some of their own red chakra as fuel to cause the rest to return to the chakra coils. Tell the Kazekage to have at least three copies of it made and ready at all times, preferably more. One copy will be given to Gaara himself, who will be instructed to use it at any time when he feels like Shukaku might be trying to rise up while he's awake. The other two are to be given to shinobi of appropriate skill who are to follow Gaara around in shifts and intervene if they feel Gaara is having a problem but can't deal with it himself for whatever reason. Any seals that have been used will enter a state where they cannot be used again but give diagnostic information on Gaara at the time of usage, so they are to be sent to me with time used for analysis. Note that the way the seals are set up, an error in writing will most likely cause one of three problems. The first two are that it will not suppress the chakra, which is the reason why there are to be three, and complete failure in the data recording. These two are hopefully trivial matters, though there might be some inconvenience. The third is to be taken more seriously, however. Should the mechanism that regulates the reaction fail, unfortunately, the seal will continue to siphon some of Shukaku's red chakra even after it's been suppressed, as evidenced by the red glow persisting after Gaara's back to normal. It isn't nearly enough to put Gaara in danger of dying by all of Shukaku's chakra being extracted, but it will create a miniature Bijū Dama should it reach critical mass. Before this happens, the seal must be removed from Gaara and sent at least ten meters from him, which will cause the seal to stop and the built-up chakra to disperse. Send the scroll and those instructions as soon as possible with further instructions to gather any and all information on Gaara's seal plus any information on Gaara himself that they think might be relevant, like medical records and chakra composition, as well as any questions and statements they might have." He looked at me incredulously, and then I slouched back down, sighed, and said, "The annoying thing about Serious Mode is that I can only do it for so long..."

Hiruzen sighed, closed his eyes, and said, "That seems about right. Are you leaving soon?" This was answered when he opened his eyes and saw a note in my place with the word "yup" on it. "How did he do that?" the Hokage muttered.

kukukuku~

The couple met another couple in front of the... I guess it was a bar? Anyway, Ai told Tenko that she saw Hiashi and someone who she guessed was probably his wife. "Hey, Hyūga-san!" Ai said as she walked up to him. She elbowed him and said, "Is that your wife? She's hot!"

Hyūga _Hizashi_ looked over at his wife with puzzlement. _"__Do we know her?"_ he mouthed at aunt Hikaru.

_"No,"_ she mouthed back, shaking her head slightly.

At this exact moment, the _real_ Hiashi and Hikari showed up. "Ah, good," Hiashi said. "I see you two have met." Ai slowly looked at Hizashi, then at Hiashi, then back to Hizashi.

"I haven't even touched the alcohol and I'm already seeing double," Ai groused. "What the heck?"

Tenko chuckled and planted a kiss on her girlfriend's cheek. "I think that those two might be his brother and sister-in-law, sweetie. Hiashi-san said that they would be here too."

Ai glared at Father. "You could have warned us that they're your clones," she complained.

"Identical twins and he did," Tenko reminded her.

Father chuckled. "Ai-san and Tenko-san, this is my darling wife Hikari," he gave her a small kiss, "and you seem to have already acquainted yourself with my brother Hizashi and his wife, Hikaru." He pointed at them. "Shall we enter, then?" They entered and were escorted to a private room by the staff.

"What, exactly, is with the private rooms?" Tenko asked as they sat down and ordered some drinks.

"This establishment is often used for meetings between clans as a sort of neutral ground," Father explained. "The owner takes the privacy of the clients who make use of the private rooms very seriously. They're soundproofed, the staff regularly check for any kind of bugs, they knock before coming in, and there are even seals placed on the rooms that make them unseeable by chakra-sensing or even the Byakugan."

"Actually, what about the Shōraigan?" Hikaru asked. As soon as she did, there was a knock on the door. When the staff member was let in, he said that a young boy had given him a note to get to his aunt, Hikaru. After the guy left, everyone else looked at aunt Hikaru. She opened the note and read, "_What do you think? -Love Kouki._"

There was some awkward silence followed by Tenko clearing her throat. "So when are our drinks arriving, do you think?"

"Probably about now," Hizashi guessed. There was another knock on the door. "I swear I didn't plan that," he quickly added.

"Kouki-kun has had an impact on you, hasn't he?" Tenko asked.

Mother sighed. "He's not bad or anything, if that's what you're implying, but it's that he seems to like to play around with people and show off with his future vision and other unique powers, which can be... not exactly annoying, but... odd... at times." She then actually managed to almost look into my eyes and say, "And I'm not just saying that because you may or may not be watching, Kouki-kun."

Heh. I could show more of their conversation, but this chapter's probably getting long enough and that was about all that I wanted to show anyway. So to sum it all up, Ai got really drunk and kept hitting on Tenko. Ah, young love.

kukukuku~

"Demon Infusion?" I offered, playing around the puppet and some red chakra. "_Maybe if I make the yin chakra and yang chakra separately?_" I thought.

Kurama gave a thoughtful hum. "**It sounds good, but why does it need to sound demonic?**"

I shrugged. "I've heard of Bijū referred to as demons before, and giving myself a demonic motif just sounds cool."

"**I suppose that that's as good a reason as any when dealing with you,**" he sighed. There was a bright flash from the window, illuminating the dark, dusky sky, and a crash of thunder followed a moment later. "_**Eeep!**_" Kurama... shrieked? That felt weird to say... So he... shrieked... and jumped into my arms.

I looked down at him flatly. "You do realize I'm working, right?"

He scoffed haughtily and turned his head away. "**I was just... startled, is all.**"

I looked out the window, specifically at the heavily pouring rain. "You do realize that it's been overcast the whole day, right? And now it's pouring buckets."

"**Shut up,**" he said as he jumped out of my arms and onto my desk.

"I can't do that, but I _can_ change the subject," I offered. Kurama muttered something that could have been a "_fine_." "So do you think that I could get Six Paths Sage Mode if I got some chakra from all nine Bijū?"

He stared at me for a few moments. "**Maybe? You do realize that the problem with this theory is that you need to get the chakra of all nine for this to work, yes?**"

I shrugged. "True, but at the same time, I have yours and I'm going to get some of Shukaku's when I go over to Suna, so I'm almost one third of the way there already!"

He flicked his tail. "**Perhaps you should think of an easier jutsu to obtain?**"

I sighed. "You're probably right." I thought for a moment, then snapped my fingers. "Do you think I could make a Gudō Dama if I were to get all five chakra natures in red chakra?" I asked.

This took him a bit of thought as I fiddled with the puppet some more. "**I... don't know. Maybe. If you count Shukaku's magnet release that you're hoping to obtain, you then have fire release and wind release from me and earth release and wind release from him. Assuming your theory works, you'll need water release from Isobu, Koku****ō, Saiken, or Gyūki and lightning release from Chōmei or Gyūki.**"

I nodded. "It seems that I'll have to engineer events so that I meet B if I don't want to wait like thirteen years for when I know Fū is going to finally be out of Taki."

"**That does seem like the most efficient way to find out, doesn't it?**" He then somehow gave off the aura of a Cheshire cat smile despite having his face permanently stuck in a regular cat smile. "**Too bad there's still so much animosity between Konoha and Kumo, huh?**"

I gave a smile. An evil smile. "Oh, I know. I plan on using it." Okay, so I didn't really have any plans, but I have an image to keep up, y'know? Anyway, lightning struck at that moment, as if on cue. Yet again, Kurama shrieked and jumped into my arms. "You're sending mixed messages, you know? Do you want to stay in my arms or not?"

"**Shut. It.**"

I smiled. "It's okay if you don't like lightning. I imagine that you used to get hit all the time, with how big you are..."

He grunted. "**Guess that's one perk of being so fucking tiny...**" I blinked. Oops. Probably shouldn't have pressed that particular button...

I was frantically thinking of which random topic to use to distract him with when the door suddenly burst open. "Nii-san!" Hinata tackle-hugged me.

I lightly chuckled as I closed the door with chakra threads. To keep up with the ruse that I was Hinata's bodyguard, my bedroom was placed close to hers, which was probably why she came to me. "You don't like lightning either, do you Hina-chan?" She shook her head slightly and buried her face deeper into my shoulder. "Don't worry, Kurama's afraid of it too." I idly remembered a funny video my dad showed me one day from this one movie called... Ted, I think it was. "Hey, you two could be thunder buddies!" I backed out of Hinata's hug and deposited Kurama in her hands. He glared at me for a moment before another flash of lightning caused the two to flinch into each other. "Well, I think our parents are done now and none of them brought an umbrella, so I'll be going now." I left, taking the umbrella that I'd bought some time ago with me.

kukukuku~

I decided that I rather like the rain, assuming I have an umbrella, at least. Having waterproof boots and not open-toed shoes probably helped a bit too. It felt calming seeing all of the water falling, plus with how high the water was I could practice water-walking! Speaking of practicing jutsu, I was also using puppetry jutsu on my little puppet to manipulate it into screwing around with a ball of my red chakra for me. I'd managed to make it luminesce even as I tried to prime it for the jutsu I was actually trying to make, which I was using like a lantern. "I probably need to put in the yin first..." I muttered as I got closer to their chakra signatures. I rounded a corner and saw all four of them standing under a awning. "Father, Mother, Uncle, Aunt," I greeted as they stared at me. "It's been cloudy all day, I didn't need my eyes to know it'd rain. At least one of you should have brought an umbrella."

"Thank you for coming to get us, Kouki-kun," Mother said. "But I don't think your umbrella will fit the five of us." I grinned, made a half ram seal and handed the umbrella to Father.

"Channel some chakra into it," I told him. I could tell he did what I asked when seals flared up on the umbrella and a chakra shield extended enough to fit everyone comfortably. "Rather simple change in chakra form seals," I explained. "The final version's gonna have more options than just that." We started walking home under the cover of my umbrella. While the others were talking, I continued to mess with the puppet. After a while, something... clicked and I was finally able to combine the yin and yang without it canceling out and becoming normal red chakra. The red chakra was absorbed into the puppet, so I let the strings dissipate and dropped it onto my palm. Despite it being an inanimate object, it landed on its feet and stayed standing. With a mental command from me, the puppet started punching the air, but stopped after a bit and shrugged at me. I sighed.

"What's wrong, Kouki-kun?" aunt Hikaru asked.

"I just finished a jutsu I was working on, but to actually use it in battle, I'd need a lot more chakra than I have at the moment," I muttered.

She smiled. "I'm sure you'll be able to use it eventually."

I sighed. "Yeah, but..." I had a flash of inspiration and actually had to check that I hadn't accidentally activated my eyes from the sudden mental rush. I grinned. "Nyahahaha~ NYEEHAHAHAHAHA!~" Lightning crashed during my maniacal laugh, which was just great.

"That's probably not a good sign," uncle Hizashi noted.

kukukuku~

Kurama woke up feeling rather refreshed, so much so that he wasn't really that annoyed by the little girl snuggling up to him and trapping him. Stupid tiny toy body with almost no strength... The first thing he saw upon waking was an office chair pointed away from him. "You know... you two are lucky I didn't need to sleep tonight, or I would've had you leave my room," my voice said from the other side of the chair.

"**What do you want, Kouki?**" Kurama asked.

I turned my chair around, revealing me stroking the puppet on my lap like it was a cat. What? My actual cat-shaped thing was occupied at the moment. "What do you know about..." Pause for dramatic effect... "Natural energy?"

"U-um, Kurama-san?" Hinata asked as she sat up. "Should I be worried about that?"

"**Knowing Kouki, probably.**"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was a longer chapter than normal. I probably should've cut the bar scene, seeing how I cut pretty much all of it already, but I just thought that that first joke was so funny.
> 
> And I know that none of the Bijū actually used lightning release, but then why would bringing them all together grant Obito, Madara, and Naruto the ability to use something made from all five chakra natures?


	7. Chapter 7

I groaned and yawned as I woke up with a fuzzy head. I started rubbing my eyes as I sat up a bit.

Then I went back down and almost fell asleep. I didn't actually fall asleep, however, because of a knock on my door. "In a minute," I managed to get out, then rolled off the bed. I eventually managed to get up and open the door to the sight of a woman of the main branch family, if I remembered right. "Sleepy," I blearily muttered as an excuse. I probably had bedhead, which added to the image.

She chuckled. "So this is why you don't let anyone in your room in the morning hours," she said jokingly.

I grunted, licked my lips, then said, "I must look like a little death, huh?" I snapped my fingers at my vanity and my brush and comb flew over thanks to the wind attribute in Kurama's chakra, then started un-messing my hair. She just stared at me incredulously. "So what do yo- ah!" I was interrupted by the brush trying to force through a particularly bad knot. They stopped long enough for me to sort out the knot, then continued. "I told you two to _stop_ if that happens," I chided. I gave the woman whose name I couldn't remember at the moment a small, polite smile and explained, "A jutsu that I made that animates things. I unfortunately don't have enough enough chakra to use anything practical in a fight yet, but I _can_ use it for laziness." I shrugged. "Sure, I have to charge them up every so often or they'll die, but they're pretty nice. So what do you need from me?"

"...Hiashi-sama asked me to give you this, and not to look inside it," she said as she handed me a messenger bag. I grunted a "_thanks_" and opened it to see a couple of scrolls, a large book, and a file. "If I might ask, what exactly is in that?"

"Top-secret fuinjutsu stuff," I muttered as I opened the file to see medical records and a picture of a small boy with red hair and shadows around his eyes. "If anyone asks, you never saw this. Talk to Father if you really want to know, but just know it comes from Hokage-sama." I put the file back and took the book out. I raised my eyebrows when I realized that it looked like a primer on the theory of poison. "Thanks... uh..." I thought for a moment. "Sorry, I should know this, I'm still a little asleep... Yuri-san?"

"It's actually Yuriko, Kouki-kun," she politely corrected. "My mothers had a laugh at that one..." I thought about asking about that, then decided that that'd be prying a bit and just gave a small, flat, "Ha." She smiled and said, "I'm going to go now. Good luck with your project."

I sat down at my desk after she left and pulled out all of the scrolls and the file. I sorted through the scrolls, putting the jutsu scrolls back in the bag. When I was done I looked through the final scroll, which was about Gaara's seal. I frowned and ran my fingers through my hair when I was done. "This doesn't make any sense..." I muttered. "Either I'm missing something or Gaara really shouldn't be having as many problems as he has... Maybe it's something to do with Shukaku in particular?" I opened the file on Gaara back up to see what I could gleam from that. "Nothing too useful, it turns out..." I sighed. I might have been able to do something with the stuff about his chakra and the symptoms that they knew for sure were from Shukaku, but I'd probably need to consult Kurama first, and he was... actually it was really surprising, but he was playing with Hinata, so I couldn't talk to him. Then I noticed a small sealing tag included with the papers. I picked it up and immediately recognized it as a used Inner Demon Calming Seal. A sticky note on it said that the Kazekage had Gaara use one for practice so I'd have a baseline, which was really good on his part. Would have to tell him he done good.

I took it, pulled out a blank scroll, put the tag on the scroll, and made a half ram seal. Words flowed out of the seal and onto the scroll, forming the statistics on Gaara. I nodded. It looked like the scan function was working perfectly, and the data I got from it was pretty good. I already had the beginnings of an idea just from that, though I decided I should probably consult Kurama before actually trying to work on it as a precaution. When I was done, I made a half _dragon_ seal and pulled the tag from the scroll. The words peeled off with the scroll, and as I flipped the tag around and put it down, the words reconstituted into a sort of spherical barrier that allowed a ball of red chakra to emerge from the seal without dispersing into the air. I frowned as I saw the size of it. "The regulator's off..." The idea was that the seal would take only a little bit extra of Shukaku's chakra from what it was using to suppress Shukaku for me to play with, but there was a lot more than what I was expecting. "Or maybe it's just that Shukaku wasn't trying to break free or fighting at all," I realized with a shrug. "Meh." I made another half ram seal with my left hand and an empty sealing circle formed on it. I shoved my hand into the containment barrier and the red chakra flowed into the seal, forming a slash in the middle, the kanji for one.

kukukuku~

I knocked on the door. Thankfully, the seal on my hand had disappeared after it settled down like Naruto's. That would've been hard to hide if it hadn't... Because I could feel that nobody was around, I revealed the seal for a bit to inspect it while I waited for someone to open the door. When I felt Tenko about to open the door, I let it fade again and shoved my hands into my pockets. "Hey, Uzumaki-san," I said with a small smile.

"Kouki-kun," she greeted back. "Are you here to see Naruto-kun?" I nodded and she let me inside. The house was nice. It wasn't nearly as big as the Hyūga compound, for obvious reasons, but it was pretty big for a family of four. Probably because of the prestige of the Uzumaki clan, even if said clan was only the four members.

"How's he settling in?" I asked.

"Kouki!" Naruto shouted as he waved enthusiastically at me, then went back to climbing on Ai.

"Hey, kid," Ai greeted as Naruto managed to get to and start pushing on her face. "A little help, honey? Please?" Tenko giggled and picked Naruto up off of Ai, earning a peck on the cheek as thanks. "Thanks, sweetie."

I chuckled. "So he's settling in nice, then?" I inferred, then beckoned for Naruto. "C'mere, Naruto. I wanna tell you something."

Tenko put him down, but he frowned and didn't come to me. "Why do you have that weird feeling that all the mean people have, Kouki-kun?" he asked me.

I internally sighed and, not for the first time, was glad that my general lack of major emoting most of the time kept my annoyance from really showing. Naruto had noted feeling the malice of others recently, which was from my giving Kurama his yin power back. Still, though, it shouldn't have been strong enough to passively sense what little malice _I_ could generate towards him... I extended my (unfortunately still weak passively) malice sense towards him, or rather his seal, and felt a sort of smug malice coming from Kurama, which made more sense. I sent him a little message of "_you suck_" and told Naruto, "I dunno, but are you gonna ignore _my_ advice?" He shrugged and walked over to me, allowing me to give him a light chop to the head. On the plus side, I was conditioning him to equate malice directed at him with pain, hopefully.

"Hey!" he complained.

"Don't throw away Gudō Dama, stupid," I chided.

"I don't even know what that is!"

"Powerful but finicky jutsu that you might get in the future if events line up, and in my visions you stupidly hamstrung your ability to use two fifths of it like an hour after getting it by throwing two of them into a Chibaku Tensei in another space-time. Don't do that for real."

"What happened to not punishing people for things they haven't done yet?"

I shrugged. "That was for having the _potential_ stupid to throw away Gudō Dama. You don't even want to _know_ what I'll do if I learn you do it without a good enough reason." Then, I heard the frantic footsteps of a young girl and turned around to see Tenten staring at me with an elated expression. "'Sup," I said.

"Naruto-kun said that you have healing powers!" Tenten said.

"Yeah, but not the kind just anyone can use, if that's what you're asking." Her face fell. "But if it's healing jutsu you want to learn, then you should know that you have a bit of an advantage with yang release, which you need for medical release."

"Yes!" she shouted and threw her hands in the air. "I wanna be like Tsunade, she's this really cool kunoichi who's a really good healer!"

Ai pouted. "I'm a cool kunoichi too... And I have _weapons..._ It's because I'm only a special jōnin, isn't it?"

I nodded. "Tsunade's got some bad habits that I'm pretty sure your moms would like very much if you never pick up," they both agreed emphatically, "and you don't need to be a medic to be cool, but if you really, really wanna know how to heal people, then..." I took my hand out of my pocket, and a leaf appeared on it. "The other half of the equation is chakra control, so get cracking." I used a chakra thread to put it in her hands. "Well, there's knowledge needed too, but the biggest parts are yang release and chakra control."

"How did you do that?" Ai asked me, amazed.

I pulled down my sleeve, revealing a wristband with a storage seal on it. Really, why don't more people do that? It's awesome _and_ useful. "I made a waterproof storage seal wristband with variable output, which is a lot more practical than you'd think if you do it right, by the way," I explained.

Ai gave me an eager look that made me feel like stars should have appeared in her eyes, and said, "Teach me your ways, master."

"Hey, I don't actually know how this leaf helps me with chakra control," Tenten complained.

"Naruto," I ordered. He took my meaning immediately and went over to help his new sister with her leaf. I turned back to Ai and said, "Right, so the first thing you need to know is that you can put seals on fabric surprisingly easily..."

kukukuku~

My eyes closed and my body absolutely still as I sat cross-legged under the shade of the tree, I pondered what Kurama and I had talked about in regards to Gaara's seal. "_If I use it like that, the side-effects would actually be beneficial,"_ I thought to myself as I formulated the beginnings of a plan. My thoughts shifted, however, when I finally managed to begin to feel the ebb and flow of the energy of the world around me after what felt like an hour of meditation. Without my eye's secondary powers, I doubted that I would've been able to stop fidgeting for that long... Thankfully, the fact that I wasn't using toad oil to feel the natural energy meant that I didn't immediately start drawing on it, because at my chakra level, that would've probably been bad. Without even opening my eyes, which I wasn't even sure I could do without breaking my tenuous natural energy sensing, I focused on the blue chakra in my hand. My idea was to combine the natural energy outside of my body until I felt I could do proper sage mode so as to circumvent the danger of using sage chakra. Kurama laughed that idea off at first when I'd told him, saying that there was no way I'd be able to add the natural energy to already-completed chakra until I'd actually managed to get the feel of sage chakra. I then told him that one of my failed attempts at yin-yang release involved me somehow managing to split my chakra back into its constituent parts and then recombining them outside of my body, which made him shut up. I thought back to when I managed to do it, then tried to recreate the feat. As is my curse, actually trying to do it somehow made it exponentially more difficult, though I just barely managed to puzzle it out. After that, I started working on recombining it, but with some extra natural energy. I almost got it... almost... almost...

"Hey, you!" I lost it. I sighed, looked over the two chakra signatures that approached me, one of which had a suspiciously familiar signature to it that I honestly shouldn't have been too shocked about given who was writing the story, and opened my eyes to see a blonde girl about my age in front of me with a shy-looking pink-haired girl behind her.

"I-Ino-chan, you don't have to..." Oh, right. Sakura was really shy when she was a little kid.

I licked my lips. "Nah, it's okay. I was almost done anyway... Whaddya want?"

"Why were you talking to that one kid earlier," Ino asked. She was referring to how Naruto was talking to me while I was meditating a bit earlier before going to play ninja with Tenten, Hinata, and Neji. "Our parents keep telling us not to talk to him."

I gave her my "I'm silently judging you" glare and said, "If anyone ever spent so much as two seconds getting to know Naruto they'd know he isn't a demon that has become quite jaded with most of humanity on account of their exploitative ways," eliciting a "What?" from both of them. "If either of your parents have problems not judging an innocent boy for events that happened literally on the day of his birth, then they can take it up with the Hokage." An idea came to me and I smirked. "Naruto's actually really friendly, you might like him. If you two want, I can probably get you in their game." I looked at Sakura and gave her a small, wry smile. "Plus, I think the two of you might be family."

Ino sighed. "Why does everyone think that everyone with blonde hair is a Yamanaka?" she asked. "Not everyone with the same hair color are clan members!"

"I already knew that, Yamanaka Ino, heiress of the Yamanaka clan." I internally laughed at her face. "I believe there are some redhead Yamanaka, so explain that. Plus zero members of the current Uzumaki clan, despite three of them having chakra that suggests they inherited at least part of the bloodline, have the traditional Uzumaki red hair. No, I meant your pink-haired friend, who for some reason has a chakra signature that reminds me of members of the Senju and Uzumaki, plus with something else vaguely bloodliney that I haven't seen before. Probably foreshadowing for something."

Sakura blinked. "I'm part of the Uzumaki and Senju clans?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Could be close, could be distant. Uzumaki's an offshoot of Senju and I've only ever felt three confirmed Uzumaki, plus I've got nothing to compare that third, totally-something-that'll-come-up-later bloodline to, so that could also be something. Heck, it's so much of a jumble I wouldn't be surprised if you're from a third line descended from Ōtsutsuki Ashura that I somehow don't know about."

"A what?" Sakura asked.

I hummed. "The only thing about that that you really need to worry about is that you more likely than not have a longer lifespan and life energy than your average person. And if you wanna be a ninja, I suggest looking at medical ninjutsu. Tsunade the medical genius got to be so good from a combination of her advantage in yang release granted by having a Senju and an Uzumaki as grandparents and her skill with chakra control." I pointed at Tenten. "That's Tenten. Speak to her if you're curious. She really likes Tsunade."

Sakura blinked. "Thank you."

"It's cool," I said. "I'm gonna play now. You in?"

kukukuku~

"Hey, you!" a voice that I'm pretty sure was Sakura's mom said. I confirmed with a bit of chakra-sensing.

I turned around to see her. "Hello, Haruno-san."

She fliched. "How did you know my name?"

"I may not look it, but I'm skilled with chakra-sensing," I explained. "You share a... peculiarity in your chakra with your daughter." So my theory about that third thing in Sakura's chakra having to do with Ashura was probably shot, considering the fact that her mom had it and not the Uzumaki and Senju stuff.

"Right, well I don't like you telling my daughter to talk to talk to that Naruto boy."

I gave her a faux-confused stare. "What's wrong with him?"

As I expected, she blanched. "Well... he's..."

I decided to push a bit further. "Give me one good reason for all the abuse he's had at the hands of the village. One thing he's done that would change my mind. Burden of proof." After some more of her grasping for a good reason, I continued with a glare. "I know about the Kyūbi, by the way, and that's not a good reason." I made sure nobody was around before elaborating. "He's not the fuzzball, and if it weren't for him neither of us would be alive. Nor would your daughter, your husband, or just about anyone you've ever known and loved. Why then?"

"I... I-"

I snorted. "Save it. You're not gonna rationalize your way out of that moral quandary." I pulled out the used Inner Demon Calming Seal tag, then replaced the used-up sealing formula with a fresh one. "If it really bothers you that your kid's friends with the jinchuriki, this thing can be used to suppress Fuzzy's chakra, at least as long as... _it_... is still at least partially in Naruto." Calling Kurama _it_ felt dirty. That's probably a good thing. "It's practically the best thing you can have when dealing with an out-of-control jin...chu..." I trailed off as it finally hit me just what I made. "_Ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-_" I internally screamed.

She blinked. "It's okay. I don't need this. You're right."

"_-__uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-_" I put the seal back away and said, "Yeah that's probably for the best... Hang on, I need to make a call real quick." I closed my eyes and reached out with my telepathy to Sarutobi's office.

"_I already took care of it,_" Hiruzen told me immediately upon picking up. He was getting real nonchalant about having someone randomly use telepathy on him...

"-_uuuuuuuu... huh?_"

"_Do you think I didn't realize how Akatsuki could use your seal?_" he asked. "_Rest assured, I informed the Kazekage of the gravity of it and why he should be careful with who he gives that information to. I also managed to put a genjutsu on it that should hopefully use Sasori's jutsu to induce memory loss. Theoretically, anyway. I'm not the best at genjutsu and I haven't seen Sasori's jutsu._"

"_Thanks_," I mentally sighed. "_I really dropped the ball there, huh?_"

He mentally chuckled. "_To be fair, you are still a child. You might still want to check in on Sasori._"

"_Will do. Bye_." I opened my eyes back up. "Right, where were we?" I asked before realizing she was gone. "Meh, I'm sure everything's fine now."

kukukuku~

I sighed and licked my lips as I looked at the two balls of "sage" chakra in my hands. One was blue and one was red, but I was a little disappointed with the conversion time of both, even after multiple full days of practice. Almost five minutes for a small amount of blue chakra and a little over twice that for an equal amount of red. I wasn't going to be able to use that in combat anytime soon... Though I suppose it was better than my first time of about an hour for blue. "I guess it still works for what I need it for," I sighed, then shrugged as I considered the blue chakra. With Kurama's and my calculations, it was doubtful that I'd need any more than a small amount of blue sage chakra, so I just traded a bit of chakra between my hands and reabsorbed the mostly blue chakra. It wasn't much of a boost, but I definitely felt a buzz from it that felt pretty nice. After that, I pulled out the little bug cage thing I got for the other component I needed for the jutsu I'd thought of. That other thing being the bugs that I had. Well, any animal would do, but I wanted to start small and with something that I would hopefully not feel guilt over killing. Of course, that meant that I barely had any material to work with, just a couple of flies that I'd managed to convince Hinata to catch while I was meditating. I looked at them for a few minutes, took a few deep breaths, and said, "Sorry, little guys." I channeled the demonic sage chakra into the bugs, pouring all of the chakra evenly into them. The flies took on a look similar to a stage two chakra cloak but without the tail before beginning to compress and converge on each other.

The idea was to use the mutative properties of natural energy overload to change them into something I could use. Theoretically, I could have used less demon sage chakra than complete saturation, but I decided that with how easy it was to saturate the flies, I would just do that and observe closely to see if I could glean the proper form for that and not have to go through trial and error. After about a minute, they had fully compressed and fused together into a small red crystal with a light glow. I sighed when I saw that it was pebble-sized, about a centimeter in diameter. Sure, I wasn't expecting to pull an adequately-sized crystal out of a few flies, but I was hoping for a little more... I ran my fingers through my hair and picked up the pebble. "I guess it's fine for now..." I muttered, then reached down my shirt to stick it on my sternum, hidden away. A seal blossomed on my skin, collecting the very minute amount of demon sage chakra that the stone was generating. Until I had a bigger one, that was the best use for it I could think of.

kukukuku~

Imagine that one French narrator voice from Sponebob saying "One month later."

"So that's probably a good structure for the seal, right?" I asked, swinging my legs in the air. I was honestly surprised that the blood hadn't rushed to my head yet; I was sitting upside-down on the couch. Something something tree-walking, probably.

Ai shrugged. "Probably."

"**Yeah, Shukaku's a slippery bastard, but that should about do it,**" Kurama agreed, curled up on another seat.

"Seal team meeting adjourned?" I asked, then got nods from the both of them. "Adjourned. Now that we're done, I remembered something I wanted to ask you, Ai."

"Shoot, kid."

I smirked and picked up a cookie from the plate on the table (using chakra threads, obviously). I took a bite from it, then after I swallowed said, "Your wife makes amazing cookies."

She blushed lightly. "Okay first, you skipped over the question. Second, she's only my girlfriend. We're not even engaged yet." I gave her a flat look and raised an eyebrow, causing her blush to deepen to the proper Uzumaki shade of red. "I'm still looking for a ring..." she muttered.

I looked up/down at her and interlaced my hands. "Good, you two feel like an old married couple already. Now, what do you know about the Adamantine Sealing Chains?"

Ai sighed deeply. "I still can't figure it out, even after I asked Kushina for advice years ago," she grumbled. "I'm still not entirely sure it's a Kekkei Genkai and not a Hijutsu..."

"**Technically it's both,**" Kurama said. "**If I recall correctly, it's technically a Hijutsu that uses the special chakra of the Uzumaki. You should be able to figure it out if you know enough of how to use it, though.**"

Ai frowned. "How did you... Right... Hey, if you know so much about it from Kushina, do you have any tips to using it?"

Kurama shrugged. "**I didn't really pay too much attention to it because I couldn't think of any way I could possibly use it to break out of the seal, and that was really all I was thinking of at the time... I know that you should be able to do it more easily if you manage it at least once, but I can't help you with that.**"

"I have an idea," I offered.

Kurama sighed, got up, and said, "**Why do I feel like I'm not going to like this?**"

"If it's part Kekkei Genkai, then you might find it easier to do it if you have more power behind you instead of harder."

"**The math checks out, but I still don't like where this is going,**" Kurama complained. The red gem I'd made, now completed, dropped from under my shirt and into my hand. It had that one gem shape, sort of like a kunai but without the handle, though it was about half the scale of a kunai. "**FUCK. NO.**" Kurama looked at me with with what probably should have been abject terror if he had the ability to make expressions. "**Kouki, no!**"

"Kouki yes," I countered flatly.

"**Fuck this,**" Kurama said, then ran for the opened door. He stopped at the doorway, said "**Kurama is out. Peace,**" and noped off as fast as his little legs could carry him.

"Should I be concerned by Kurama's reaction to that?" Ai asked.

I shrugged. "Unless you have objections to temporarily gaining phenomenal cosmic power, not particularly. I'll use my eyes to make sure I give you about as much as you can take without adverse effects, maybe a bit less. Kurama's just a wuss."

She nodded. "Cool. So what is that?"

"Demon Sage Core. A special stone of my own invention that generates red chakra and fuses it with natural energy on its own."

She gave me a huge grin. "Sounds fun."

I activated my eyes long enough to check how it would go down. Turns out it was a good idea, worked well enough, but unless we had more, then Ai'd really have to try to finesse it to get the chains out. "Unfortunately, though, it's probably gonna take like a month to do that, even with a head start. You've got a lot of chakra capacity."

"Dammit."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I was actually really salty when I realized that NARUTO THREW AWAY TWO OF HIS AWESOME JUTSU BALLS WHY!?


	8. Chapter 8

_Feb 17_

_Decided to keep a journal for stuff I'd rather not forget. And maybe for some sort of journal entry interlude or something?_

_Feb 19_

_Got the stuff for Gaara's seal today. Also got some other stuff too, but I'm going to be working on my demon sage core project for the next two months or so, so I probably won't be looking over those until after fixing Gaara. Probably bad form to work on more than one other project at a time..._

_Checked the Inner Demon Calming Seal Kazekage sent me. Regulator's working fine, so it was lack of actual use that caused it to absorb more red chakra. I'd say it filled the other seal up about sixty percent at three times the absorbed ckakra, so I should need about two more. Assuming nobody screws up any of the seals. Might end up needing to siphon some chakra from Gaara._

_Talked with Kurama. Apparently the issue is less with Gaara's seal and more with Shukaku's aggressiveness and chakra control. Apparently Shukaku has the most control out of any of the bij_ _ū on account of having one tail. And he also trains his chakra control or something? So that's gonna be a nightmare. Probably gonna need to make a self-repairing seal. Maybe different modes?_

_Feb 24_

_FINALLY! I finally got my hacked senjutsu almost working! I might not be able to use it in a non-sneak attack fight, but at least I don't have to wait an hour to do stuff with it. Plus I shouldn't have to wait at all to assimilate singular insects into the incomplete demon sage core, at least if I wait a bit between uses at first. Now I just need to get a massive amount of bugs to sacrifice. Why didn't they use animals for philosopher stones in FMA? They have souls and people already slaughter cows. Actually could I use animals for the Edo Tensei sacrifice? It already reshapes the body... Should ask Kurama the rules on that. Where was I?_

_Right, I should probably actually start working on Gaara's seal. I was kind of paid in advance..._

_Feb 25_

_If I don't get some help with this I'm going to start to hate fuinjutsu and that would be bad. How else am I going to learn how to teleport? I don't think that the Sh__ōraigan bends space-time _that_ much..._

_Right, Kurama's willing to help. And judging from how Ai was able to keep up with me when I was telling her how to do the Inventory Hotbar Seal and even offered suggestions whereas Tenko lost us immediately, she might just be a good addition to Seal Team. And her being on Seal Team might inspire Tenten and Naruto to learn fuinjutsu..._

_On another note, apparently I _can_ use animals for Edo Tensei, but only if what I'm trying to bring back is the same species and I change the formula to work for that animal. Assuming animals even_ have_ an afterlife. Dang._

_Feb 26_

_Seal Team is go, baby! Plus, while I was there I managed to get Naruto to join Tenten in training chakra control by telling him I felt like it could be useful in the future then giving him an over-exaggerated wink. It's almost like he thought I could see the future. Weird. Why would he think that?_

_Mar 1_

_Seal team is great. We've started work on a seal to isolate Shukaku from Gaara without hampering his powers._

_And speaking of powers, my other project is going well too. I got Neji to join in with bug-collecting, so the demon sage core is going real well. Though I did have to drain the demon sage chakra in the Demon Sage Seal on my body to a tag so I wouldn't turn into a fox. It'd be cool if I could reverse it, but alas. The second stage symptoms of crystallization and/or petrification were also a little scary. I mean, it's cool when I do it to my enemies/victims, but not on me._

_Mar 9_

_Got another tag from Kazekage. Useful data._

_Eighty percent._

_Mar 14_

_Completed first demon sage core. Hopefully the next one will be faster. They keep coming to it. Almost like they're drawn to the natural energy._

_Mar 18_

_We're done with the general structure of the seal. Will begin testing soon._

_Starting on making a demon sage tag for Ai. This will be fun._

_Mar 23_

_Seal still in progress. Looking good though._

_Got another from Kazekage. Seal complete. Beginning integration._

_Mar 24_

_Integration complete. Took longer than I thought._

_Now I just have to figure out how to use it._

_Apr 1_

I͚͙̦̰ ͖̹a̕m̢̞̐̕͢ ̷͟b͍̬̙͕̯͉͉͈ͣ̿̓̎̑ͩ̚̚ẹ̯̠̙̼͕̯̟̭̪̃ͦ̒ͫ̎͐͋̈́͛͐ć͔͓͔̝̱̺̞̇ͬ͋̈ͩ̓o̸͗̋̆̑̊͆́̋̅ͦ̀҉͚͎͕̗̥̻͚̼̻̱̻m̤̝͉̫͔̭̰̗̣̥ͧ͑ͦ͋̔̈ͨͮͭ̃̇͜ͅe ̝̜ͩͧD̬͉̯̭̭̹̬̖͍̹̜̮͇͕̩e̩̼͓͙̩̖̝a̴҉̜͉̭̲̤ť̷̠̙͇͍̦̺̘̰̹͙͕̜̋̋͛̄̽ͬ̾̿̓́̚h̰̹͔͖͕͙̪̥͕̯,̥̫̱̖̝̳̠͉͐ͤ̈́ͥ̓̐̎͆͘ ̵̤̫̠͎̹̯̳̮̖̱͟d͎̬̥́͞͡e̢̊ͦ̍̔̔͗̈́ͭ͌̉ͫ̆̎s̶̢̱̺̗̦͓̻̈̈ͪͯͩͮ̀tͦ͆̀̾̃ͧ̾ͯ́̑҉̷̣̰̬̰̘̜͓͙͕́ͅr͞҉͚͝o̱̺̲̩̰͔̫̲̩̠͈̊̎ͤ͑̎̋̂ͨ̄ͤ̋̚ͅȳ͇͚̣͍̜̞̭̤̠ͩ͒ͬ̔ͥ̅̑͒è̢̙͍̻͖͖̣̗̞̥͍̕ͅŗ̵͋͒ ̶̭̼͎̤̰̗̦̥̬͕̖̕o̵̳̯̻͓͎͔̍ͯͦͩ̿ͫf͇̪̪̉͛̍ ̢̡͖͚͇̪̦̹͇̿́̅͗͋̃͂ͬ͠ͅw̱̜͍͍̩̲͔͚̱̮͒̓͐̊̽͆̊͌̅͆͘͟o͈̙̩r̢̡̦̙̙͎̭̘̘̤͚̦̭͔̐̃͌͗̓̃ͭͫ̿̽̂̄͟l̸̋̈́̒̂̌̎ͥ̚̕d̛͞͏̻͚͕̱̠͉͈̺̤̻̠̞͔͍ş̸̦̱̤͙͔̣̼̮̮̜͂ͤ̒ͨ̾͒͑̊̿ͦͨ́ͅ.͎̩̭̫̣̏͛̽̚̚͞

_That was murder on my wrist... Happy April Fools!_

_Right, so that was because I figured out how to use magnet release with red chakra. Can't do much with it yet, but I can use it. I'm floating a senbon as I write this!_

_Apr 2_

_Tried to reason with Shukaku. Never doing that again. On the plus side I confirmed that I can use any source of red chakra of the Bi_ _jū I've acquired to extend my telepathic range._

_Apr 3_

_Second demon sage core almost done. I also think I realized how Power of the White Snake works. From what it does to its users, it seems like it takes advantage of natural energy overload, much like how the demon sage cores work. Probably why Kabuto was so sure only White Snake Sages could use Muki Tensei._

_Lightbulb._

_Apr 7_

_Core done. Idea works. Fun times._

_Apr 11_

_The seal is done. Well, as done as it can be without looking over Gaara._

_Talked to Hokage. Kazekage's sending over an escort. Well, I did it two days ago because I foresaw needing to talk to the Hokage about having the Kazekage send over an escort. Future vision is fun._

kukukuku~

A twenty-something-year-old Baki walked into the office of the Hokage. For it was he who was given the honor to help escort this enigmatic master of fuinjutsu from their home of Konohagakure no Sato to his home village to fix the seal of the jinchuriki. Just two months ago, this mystery had offered their services through the Hokage and added in a seemingly miraculous seal that could have even worked as a permanent solution. All they asked for was a few jutsu in return. Baki had practically jumped at the opportunity to see just what kind of person this seal master was when the Kazekage had offered him the mission. "I am here to accept my mission, Hokage-sama," he said with a bow. "Where is the one I am to escort to my village?"

The Hokage sighed. "He's... behind you..." He seemed to be slightly annoyed by what he said.

Baki turned around to see that a small child in all white, with a short-sleeved shirt and shorts, plus white arm and leg warmers for some reason, had appeared from the shadows behind him. The only two articles of clothing that weren't white were a pair of red crystal "earrings" that seemed to have no connecting point to his ears and were just floating under the earlobes, without even having holes for them, and sunglasses perched on the child's long brown hair. "Sup," I said. By the way, that's me. I was describing me. "Your name is Baki, right?"

He just stared at me for a bit, face completely unchanged, before turning back to Saru and saying, "No, seriously."

The Hokage sighed again. "I know, but he is indeed the one you are looking for."

Baki slowly turned back to face me. "Aren't you... a little young to be a seal master?"

I internally laughed at the opportunity to make the joke. "Yes, yes I am."

"How?"

I shrugged. "I'd like to think that I'm a genius, but honestly about half of it is just the fact that I don't need to sleep every day and I only really socialize with my friends as many days as I sleep."

He stared at me. "Are you okay?"

"I said I don't _need_ to sleep, not that I don't sleep." I traced a finger over one of my eye markings and prepared to give the explanation we'd prepared for my other Kekkei Genkai powers for those not in the know. "Kekkei Genkai-type mutation, Nocturne." Just because the power's a fabrication doesn't mean it can't have a classy name. Plus it's listed as that in non-classified documents. "Imagine the legendary stamina of the Uzumaki, but with the mind instead of the body. I also have slightly increased sensitivity to light, which is why I have the glasses, and the ability to generate light from the white dots under my eyes. It makes nighttime studying easy and sleeping any more than one out of four days a waste of time."

Baki took that in for a moment. "Not a power that seems readily useful in battle, but the things I could accomplish with just _one_ night a week..."

I nodded. "And because of my special interest in Bijū and some other factors, I am perhaps the one human who knows the most about that particular subject, which includes their sealing. Hyūga Kouki."

"A pleasure. I was told that there was a shinobi from here that will be joining us?"

"He's almost here," I confirmed.

The door burst open, permitting a green-wearing young adult. "I AM HERE!" he exclaimed.

"Maito Gai," I introduced. "He might look and act like a total spaz, but he's probably the best taijutsu user in Konoha. Thanks for protecting me, Maito-san."

He gave me his trademark twinkly-smile-and-thumbs-up and said, "Please, just call me Gai!" He turned to Baki. "And that goes for you too, my comrade from Suna!"

"Nice to meet you, I'm Baki," he replied after a moment of confusion.

Saru cleared his throat. "Right, Baki and Gai. Your mission is to escort Kouki-kun here to Sunagakure so he can perform services he has promised to the Kazekage, and escort him back when he is done. While Baki must defer to Kazekage-sama while in his village, you are to ensure that no harm befalls Kouki-kun. Good luck."

kukukuku~

I held on to my parasol as tight as possible as Gai jumped from tree to tree with me on his back. What? It's not like I can keep up with two adult ninja... "If you don't mind me asking, Hyūga-san, have you looked over the jutsu scrolls Kazekage-sama sent you?" Baki asked me. "I know most of them, so I will be able to answer any questions you should have about them."

"First, I'm fine with you calling me Kouki. Second, I was only comfortable taking on one other project while I was working on Gaara's problem because it wasn't just for me, and I'd already picked up a pretty massive project." I pulled one of the scrolls from my seals. "I've got them on me, though."

"How did you do that?" he asked.

"Seal master."

"Ah. Do you at least have prior experience in wind release?" he asked me. I replied by raising a finger and flashing a Dragon Claw. "That's impressive. That jutsu looks like it'll translate well to some of the jutsu in the scrolls." We talked about the wind jutsu in the scrolls and some other wind release-related stuff, though I wasn't able to put much of my new knowledge into practice because of my awkward position riding on Gai's back. Most of the jutsu were of the cutting type, but there were also a few of the strike and gust types. Those are my own terms for them, by the way. They weren't sorted into any type or anything. It was all pretty enlightening, though, and I managed to test out an idea for a wind release jutsu that I'd had for a while. And sheared a branch off a tree we were passing by. After a while, though, I felt something in our path. "Stop." I said. Apparently we were getting close to Kaze no Kuni at that point, so the trees were getting more sparse. Gai dropped to the ground to let me off, with Baki following his lead despite not having a Kouki to drop off. I offered to make him one so he wouldn't feel left out, but for some reason he didn't want it. Said it was creepy or something. So anyway, after I dropped off of Gai, I said, "So just to clarify, if we meet and get attacked by bandits they're probably going to have to die, right?"

"Why do you want to know that?" Baki asked me suspiciously.

"Hey, you guys!" a rough-looking man holding a chokutō that looked suspiciously like Sasuke's said after popping out from behind a tree. "You're gonna have to pay a toll if you wanna get through here!"

Baki and Gai started to move, but I raised my hand in that in "stop" command. "What happens if we don't?" I asked evenly.

He laughed and four other men with various weapons emerged from the scenery and they all walked closer to us. Within my throwing range, at least. "Well then we're gonna have to kill you, little man. You may be a kid, but we don't really care all that much, do we boys?"

One of the bandits, a bit of a dopey-looking guy holding a spear, raised his hand and said, "Actually, I kinda do. Feels a little wrong."

The leader sighed loudly. "Well the rest of us ain't little bitches. Right, boys?" The boys in question all gave some kind of affirmation and in the same breath mocked the spear-wielder. "Fuck off, Takehiko. We'll handle this." Takehiko walked off dejectedly, though he hid behind a tree. Loyalty, I guess. "Right, so we might let you off easy if you give us those fancy little earrings you have there. They might fetch a pretty penny."

"You can't expect him to just give them up!" Gai shouted. I shrugged, took them off, and tossed them at him. They landed on the ground near the bandits. "Why!?" he asked.

I smirked and made a totally superfluous half ram seal. "False Sage Art: Akuma Tensei," I intoned. The ground around the demon sage cores shifted and softened, making the bandits sink in slightly. The softened ground rose up, further engulfing the bandits as the mounds of earth reshaped into blob monsters. "That's why."

"Hah!" the leader chortled. "You wouldn't be lookin' so smug if you didn't have these freaky monsters on your side! Let me out and face me like a man! No cheap tricks!"

I gave him a flat look. "First, not that you'd know, but the jutsu I'm using on you involves the use of yin-yang release, red chakra, and sage chakra. That is three-fourths of what the repertoire of the Sage of Six Paths was at the height of his power. That 'cheap trick' is the culmination of months of hard work and is an A-rank jutsu at least. Second, you are asking a small child to fight you on equal footing. You realize this, right?"

"Yeah! I'll kill you!"

I sighed and snapped my fingers. The earth shifted so that the man was ejected from the monster. "You do realize that you're gonna die, right?" I asked as I shifted my glasses onto my eyes. He started charging at me, but his swing hit air. "That's not going to work," I told him from his side, wisps of red chakra curling off of my body. I took a moment to smile at the sight. I was pretty sure that me radiating was the first step of forming a tailed cloak, which was awesome. He tried to punch me in the face, but I dodged again, reaching his back. I struck him with a single pseudo-Jūken strike to the Gate of Pain. I _am_ a Hyūga, after all. He dropped his sword and hunched over in pain from the corrosive effects of the chakra that I just pumped into one of his eight inner gates. And of course, he collapsed like a puppet with its strings cut a few moments later when the damage spread to his spinal cord or something. "Right, so that's why you don't fight someone confirmed to have red chakra unless you're Jōnin or higher," I commented as I cut off the red chakra and lifted my sunglasses. "What's the verdict on killing again, Baki?"

He took a few moments to remember that oh yeah, I asked him a question. "They'd have to die eventually. If you can't do it, I'm fine taking them out for you."

"Thanks, but that won't be necessary," I said, then made an ox seal, calming my mind to try and not freak out about what I was about to do. "I probably won't be able to get this much raw material again for a while." I took a moment to look over their memories to see if they really deserved to die. Disgusted by what I saw, I continued, drawing natural energy into the red chakra within the leader's body while also ordering the demon sage cores to convert the others. All three of them, much like the hundreds of insects before them, compressed in on themselves and turned into red crystal, though they looked more like they were going through Orochimaru's Curse Seal transformation instead of a second stage chakra cloak. When the process was done, all three of them had turned into three demon sage cores each. With a mental command, all nine floated over to me, taking their weapons with them. I sealed the chokutō, kama, and axe away and placed one sage core each under each of my arm and leg warmers, one each under my sleeves and pant legs, then placed the ninth back on my sternum. Finally, I put the magical earrings back "on" my ears. "And I suggest you quit this life before something like that happens to you," I said in the general direction of that one Takehiko guy. He bravely ran away away like a brave Sir Robin.

"Was... was that how you made the other two?" Baki asked me nervously.

I shrugged and licked my lips. "Yes and no. I used almost exclusively insects to make them. But I _do_ need live animals of to make demon sage cores." I looked up at the dusky sky. "If you two are tired we could stop for the night."

kukukuku~

I licked my lips as I lightly warmed my marshmallow over the fire. S'mores are amazing. Baki stared at me in bewilderment. "Why..." he started to ask before trailing off."

"Hmm?" I asked. One of the owls on my shoulder hooted. "Are you referring to my fine, feathery friends?"

"Yes, why are there birds roosting on you?"

I patted one of the owls on the head with my free hand. "I don't really know why, but it seems that birds and other animals are attracted to sage chakra, which is in my demon sage cores."

"I suppose that that makes sense. So what was that you said about having the powers of the Sage of Six Paths?" Baki asked.

"Technically yes, but on paper only," I explained, then unsealed the other ingredients of the s'more. "Saying that I have the power of the Sage is like saying a genin has the power of the Raikage because he knows one lightning jutsu." I thought for a moment as I took a bite out of my s'more. "Actually," I said after I swallowed, "it's more like saying I was like whatever Kage-level ninja is best known for wind release back a month or so ago when I only knew two weak wind jutsu solely based on my ability to use a basic, home-brewed wind jutsu or two."

"The fact that you have developed that ability, even as weak as it is, is amazing!" Gai said, giving me a thumbs-up.

"Thanks," I said and gave him a little smile. "Hey, I don't suppose you could give me some pointers about taijutsu?" I asked.

"Your youthful power is already impressive for one of your age. I'm not sure what I could tell you to improve your abilities."

I sighed. "That's only if I use a draining power boost. Without it, I'm only barely stronger than your average little kid. Plus, if I up my base abilities, then the power-up will be even more effective."

He grinned. "In that case I will teach you what you need to know to have the power of your youth explode!" We then proceeded to have a long talk about fitness and youth until I put him to bed because he was tuckered out.


	9. Chapter 9

"I'm assuming this is the desert," I said, looking over the sandy terrain. I was glad that I'd replaced my arm and leg warmers with a much lighter set that didn't warm me all, because even with the additional bit of heat resistance that having Kurama's chakra apparently granted me, I was getting a little hot. "Either that or we somehow managed to stumble upon a beach with no water."

"This is indeed the desert," Baki said. "We should arrive at the village by this evening at our current pace."

I sighed and reclined back on the Akuma Tensei construct that I was riding on, making sure to keep my parasol shading me. "This is boring," I complained.

"You consider riding a giant snake made of sand through a desert to be boring?" Baki asked incredulously from the back of his lindwurm.

"Yoooooouuuuuuuuth!" Gai agreed enthusiastically as his poor lindwurm was forced to go through a bunch of unnecessary tricks and expend more energy to keep up with us.

I shrugged. "The novelty wore off..." I conceded, then turned around. "And Gai! Stop forcing your lindwurm to move around like that! It's gonna run out of energy if you keep it up like that!"

"These things can run out of energy?" Baki asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Of course they can run out." I gestured to the crown made of three demon sage cores that my lindwurm had. "My creations may regenerate energy and their unusual sage chakra means they're even more potent than one might expect and can gather natural energy even while on the move, but they still have limits and the rate we're going at would definitely wear out one core long before we get to Suna. The three cores mean they share the burden, but they'll run out eventually. Gai's just running the clock down in fast-forward. Speaking of which..." I turned back to Gai. "Oi! Your lindwurm's gonna die before we get to Suna already, Gai! Gather up the cores so I don't have to go looking for them when it does!" I faced Baki again and thought for a bit. It was mid-morning, which meant I still had a couple of hours before Suna if Baki was right. I shrugged, dropped my parasol so I could grab it with a chakra thread, then grabbed hold of two of my lindwurm's cores and yanked them out, causing it to start disintegrating. I used the cores to pull myself into the air, stepping on the third core as it fell to complete my impromptu flying "machine." I flew over to Baki, whose lindwurm slowed down a bit so I could fly over. "Catch," I told him as I dumped myself into his lap.

"Why?"

I placed the cores back onto my body. "I'm going to catch a quick nap so I'm well-rested for when we get there." He nodded. "Wake me up outside of the gates. I'm kind of a zombie when I first wake up, but I should be good if I walk around for a bit. The lindwurms should respond to 'start,' 'stop,' 'slow down,' and 'speed up,' but they're not the brightest so don't expect them to understand any other commands." I rubbed Baki's lindwurm. "No offense, Lindy-chan. Right, I'm gonna sleep now." Now, I used to be really bad at falling asleep when not in school, but I'd recently figured out a trick to it.

"_Kurama-chan, can you pleeeeaaaase knock me out so I can take a good nap?_" I pleaded over the connection I shared with him thanks to having his chakra.

I felt his disdainful glare over our bond. "**_Do I look like sleep medicine to you?_**"

"_Yeah, that's the point. Real sleepy meds make me all loopy, and for whatever reason they make my sleep not refreshing..._"

He grumbled. "**_Fine, just don't resist or you'll end up loopy and your sleep won't be refreshing. I'm not used to using_**_ **genjutsu like this.**_"

"_Thanks..._" I told him as I felt myself drifting off.

kukukuku~

"-ki-san. Kouki-san!" I groaned and just barely managd to lift up my glasses to rub my eyes. "We're here," Baki told me. I grumbled and rolled over.

And immediately fell onto the sand. "I hate mornings..." I said, then spent about a minute of brushing sand off and spitting it out, before remembering that I theoretically had the ability to control sand and sending a pulse of magnet release to throw off the remaining bits of sand that got everywhere. The good news was that I was definitely awake.

"It's the evening."

I shrugged. "I hate waking up then. Right, we should probably get a move on. Where are my cores, Gai?"

"Here they are!" he said, then chucked them at me. I stared at him as the cores slowed down and stopped in midair, before putting them back where they were with but a thought.

I closed my parasol, flourished it around to point at the gates of the village, and declared, "Let us proceed!" really dramatically. As I opened my parasol back up, I had an idea, stuck my tongue out in concentration, and lifted into the air, shakily floating forwards a bit.

"I do realize that the answer is most likely 'seal master' or 'demon sage core,' but I would like to know exactly how it is you are floating," Baki said.

I turned around to stare at him, smiled slightly, and said, "Demon sage core." I took a moment to internally snicker at his facial expression before continuing. "It's a new idea I thought of. I'm making five of the cores take control of the air around me to let me defy gravity. The cores on my limbs and head are doing most of the work, which theoretically means that they'll run out first, but I can easily swap out the fresh cores. The one at my sternum is barely going down at all. I think it might take a day of continuous floating to run out at this rate, though high-speed flight will probably drain it faster." I twisted around a bit in midair to get a feel for my newfound flight powers. It was a little wonky at first, but I got the hang of it. "I'm pretty sure everyone will take me more seriously as some mysterious sealing genius if I disobey the laws of gravity."

"I see! What a youthful idea!" Gai exclaimed.

"I... suppose that that makes sense..." Baki agreed. "Shall we go?"

kukukuku~

The Kazekage stared at me. "...I was expecting you to be taller."

I shrugged and floated to reach eye-level with him. "Who'd expect the miracle seal master who offered to fix your son's seal to be about his age?"

"And you appear to be floating."

"Well why wouldn't a miracle seal master have the ability to float?"

"...Fair."

"Right, so I should probably get a look at Gaara-kun," I said, then ran my fingers through my hair. I sighed at how messy it felt. "And I forgot my brush at home. I don't suppose I could borrow one once I'm done with the seal?"

The Kazekage nodded. "That seems reasonable enough. Do you need any special equipment to work on Gaara?"

I shook my head. "I brought my stuff. Might change my mind if it's a more complicated job than I thought, but I doubt I'll need you to provide anything aside from the patient and an area in which I can set up the sealing circle in. Could you take both me and him there?"

He blinked. "You can do it now?"

"Yup."

kukukuku~

"So," I said, "what brings you to my office, young man?" Gaara, who was lying down, giggled lightly.

"Umm... don't you know already?" Kankuro asked me. He, Temari, the Kazekage, and Gaara's uncle who I couldn't remember the name of were watching. Also Gai was still escorting me, but he wasn't paying as much attention.

"It was a joke," I told him. "I know perfectly well what I need to do here, I just wanted Gaara-kun to be put at ease." I sat down cross-legged on the ground and closed my eyes. "Now, I'm going to be concentrating on this. Please stay still, Gaara-kun." In addition to using my chakra-sensing to make sure the seal was right, I linked to Kurama so I could get his opinion. Once we were both sure the seal was as good as it could be, I unsealed my ink and brushes and floated up so I could get a better look at my seal. The brushes floated around, constructing the seal stroke by stroke. When it was done, we gave it a once-over to make absolutely sure it was right and then I floated down a bit to finally take my hand from my pocket and put it on Gaara's forehead so I could collapse the seal. With an application of some chakra, the seal was completed. In its finished state, it looked almost exactly like the kanji scar he got after killing his uncle, but in a slightly different style, as a sort of nod on my part to his fate. "How's it feel?" I asked as I floated down to the floor.

Gaara brushed his hand over the freshly-made seal. "I... it's as if a weight I've had upon my shoulders my entire life has lifted..."

"That means it's working," I told him. "Or at least, I assume it is."

"What do you mean, 'you assume it is?'" Temari asked.

"I made the seal specifically for Gaara-kun," I explained, then licked my lips. "Really, it only works on the Jinchuriki of Shukaku, so my ability to test it was rather limited."

"Why only the Ichibi?" Kankuro asked.

"Much as he projects the image of and _is_ a raving lunatic, Shukaku is deadly smart and has the most control out of any of the Bijū, even if that means he's technically the weakest. Kind of a deadly combination, meaning he can extend much more influence on his jinchuriki, as you've surely noticed." I shifted my attention back to Gaara. "Now, I should probably tell you how to use the thing." I floated a small booklet over to him. "That's an instruction manual. Consult it if you forget anything. First thing you need to know is that there are three distinct settings. The one that's on now is the default and should be on the most. It should fix itself faster than Shukaku can degrade it. If you use a half ram hand seal to 'activate' the seal, it'll switch to sleep mode. At that level, it'll make you so resistant to Shukaku's influence that you should be able to sleep on the night of the full moon with naught but a bad dream, though I should warn that it will make you more than a little drowsy and it degrades to the point where it will automatically switch back to default after nine hours of continuous use."

Gaara blinked. "I can finally get a good night's sleep," he muttered.

"Yup," I nodded. "In fact, the drowsiness is side effect of using a pacification seal component on the Bijū of a jinchuriki and I specifically made sure to calibrate it to let you sleep." I leaned in close and muttered to him, "Just saying, if you still _can_ stay up a couple days a week without a giant murder tanuki screaming in your inner ear, you should. You can get _soooo_ much done like that." Backed back up an switched back to normal voice. "And aside from sleep, you should use it in the off-chance Shukaku manages to surface during the day. The other setting, by using half dragon instead of half ram, pretty much turns the seal off."

"Why would I do that?" Gaara asked me.

"First, I'd like you to turn it off under supervision at least twice a month, preferably more, so you are still at least somewhat acclimated to Shukaku. You get that Kazekage-sama?"

"I understand completely," he said.

"Good. I'm holding you to that. Second, it regenerates the seal at a greatly accelerated rate. Limited resources and stuff." I thought for a bit. "Pretty sure that's everything you should know about how to use it for now. Just so you know, intentional infliction of severe emotional trauma, perhaps from having a beloved family member attempt to assassinate Gaara and then having him or her tell him that he or she hates him and his deceased mother died cursing the name she gave him in an ill-advised attempt to get him to... I'unno, better harness the power of Shukaku or something, voids the warranty and you have to actually pay me money to fix the busting you get from that level of breakdown combined with Shukaku breaking free."

I felt the Kazekage blanch without even having to look. Chakra-sensing is useful. "That... may or may not have been my first idea on how to deal with Gaara. Thankfully, you came along..."

I shrugged. "S'cool, just don't even think of anything like that again. Inadvertent trauma _is_ covered, so don't worry. And I will _know_ if you meant to or not. Now that I'm done with the legal disclaimers, I'd like to watch Gaara sleep for the next three days."

"That's a little creepy..." Kankuro muttered.

"It's to make sure the seal is working, right?" Gaara's uncle asked.

I nodded. "_Ja_. I'm pretty sure it'll work properly, but it'd be pretty embarrassing if I had to turn back halfway through the trip home because sleep mode breaks under the full moon. And yeah, that's why I timed it so that tomorrow night will be the full moon. Day before the worst, at the worst, then the aftermath. If I'm gonna find any complications, then it's gonna be after the full moon. Right, I'm done for now. Can I have that brush now, Kazekage-sama?"

"I can help with that," Temari offered.

kukukuku~

I made a noise somewhere between a purr and a content sigh. "Are you _purring_?" Temari asked as she brushed my hair.

"Feels nice..."

"Oh... kay." She continued to brush my hair. "Wow, this is pretty curly."

"Mhm..."

"Thank you for helping Gaara. I've wanted to do something to help him, but I don't know what to do..." That statement made me crack one of my eyes open slightly.

"Be there for him," I said in a reassuring tone. "As much as what I gave him will help him, the best thing he could ever receive is love, and there's no cap on that. Be there for him and shower him with as much love as you can. That's what you can do for him. Pass that on to the rest of your family, by the way." I closed my eye again and resumed enjoying the calming feeling of her brush on my scalp. I felt her fiddling a bit with my hair, but let her.

"There," she said. I opened my eyes and looked into the mirror in front of me and gasped. In addition to being neatly brushed, Temari had put my hair into two curly pigtails.

"Do you not like it?" she asked.

"It's cute!" I said as I moved my head around, making my new pigtails bounce around a bit. "I love it."

"Oh. Good."

I got up and stretched a bit. "Right, I should check on Gaara now. Thanks for the brushing."

"You're welcome," she said as I walked out the door.

kukukuku~

I attacked the food the Kazekage brought me, taking a few quick glances over at Gaara. He was sleeping like a baby, probably for the first time in his life. "Thanks for the food," I said after I finished off the curry.

"So did Temari give you pigtails?" he asked.

"Yeah!" I said. "They're cute, right?"

"Aren't you a boy?"

I humphed. "Doesn't mean I can't look cute..."

"Sorry. So why exactly did you offer to help Gaara?" he asked.

"Can you keep a secret?" I asked him as I put down my plate, then put my hands behind my back.

"It depends. Would not revealing it compromise the safety of my village?"

"Most certainly not." I assured. "In fact, it would be most beneficial for you to know of this secret but only reveal it to a very, very trusted few. Hokage-sama and I have decided to entrust the secret on you, but only if you tell me you are trustworthy enough with absolute sincerity, so I will ask you again. Can I trust you to keep this matter a secret?"

"Yes, though I'd like to know how you plan on telling how I'm being sincere."

I shrugged and closed my eyes to do a small scan to see if anyone would overhear our conversation. "I can't detect sincerity, but I can feel malice and sense lies. Close enough."

"I suppose so. What is the secret?"

I looked over at him and opened my now-glowing eyes. "My eyes see that which is and that which is yet to come."

To his credit, he only blinked before processing that. Probably not the weirdest thing he'd seen with his job and the fact that he sealed a giant sand-controlling tanuki into his infant son. "Is that part of that Nocturne power Baki told me about?"

"Technically, Nocturne is more a part of _it_. The Shōraigan is a dōjutsu that grants me future vision and farsight, at the cost of accelerated tiring. The future vision has a neat little quirk where I can see very far into the future if the future I'm seeing is a future where I don't exist."

"And in that future where you don't exist, I went through with my plan, traumatizing Gaara," he said with horror.

"Yup. And then there's more."

"What other stupid things am I going to do in the future?" he sighed.

"Secretly allying yourself with Orochimaru, letting him talk you into invading Konoha during the chūnin exam, getting backstabbed like an idiot and replaced with a disguised Orochimaru, and dying alone in a ditch."

"Dammit," he said softly. "I suppose I should secretly ally myself with the Hokage instead."

I nodded. "I'm only ever going to suggest things to you, as with Sarutobi, but I do suggest you do it. I have this plan of you double-crossing Orochimaru instead of Konoha if I haven't butterflied the Konoha Crush out of existence, though again, I'm only suggesting things."

He nodded. "I agree to your plan. Is there anything else I should know?"

I held up my index finger. "First, there's gonna be a guy in a few years who's gonna apply to be a ninja despite being unable to use ninjutsu. He's got the potential to best Jōnin-level shinobi, make his own, less taxing version of the Eight Inner Gates, and develop semi-ninjustu that make him a literal pain to fight even for taijutsu specialists. Get him admitted into the academy, but make it clear to him that he's gonna have to work extra hard." I put up my middle finger before putting my hand back down. "Second, Sasori's still alive and put some sort of dormant mind-control and/or sleeper agent jutsu into some of your men. Have fun with that."

He sighed. "Could you please tell me if any of the people I'm going to gather for the problem are infected?"

I made a quick check. "Some guy named Yūra, now please don't make me do that again or I won't be able to stay up for the third night."

"Thank you." He started to leave, but paused to look at eight of my cores standing on a seal tag. "What is that?"

"Surprised you didn't see that sooner," I noted. "The seal is siphoning off demon sage chakra as fast as they replenish it to gather power for an experiment of mine."

"Do you really need that much demon sage chakra?"

"If I have excess, then I have excess," I stated. "I want to have as much as possible for the project, for... _optimal_ results."

"Why did that sound ominous?"

I grinned. "I'm throwing around power that can level villages to see what happens. Even if I follow safety precautions, it's still going to be pretty fun to look at."

He glared at me. "Please don't do it in my village."

"Can't, even if I wanted to. The plan is to see if giving someone with the potential to access a certain Kekkei Genkai enough demon sage chakra unlocks it for them." I gave a small chuckle. "Should be a lightshow."

He frowned for a moment, then said, "As long as it's not in my village... Do you need anything else?"

I shivered. "It's a bit cold. Do you have a spare blanket?"

"I'll have someone bring you one. Goodbye."

I told him goodbye and then spent the rest of the night watching a kid to make sure nothing bad happened to him in his sleep. I was honestly surprised I did not once burst out into song about Rose Quartz and how I loved her.


	10. Chapter 10

I laid on my stomach and rested my head on my hands. That I was doing it on a surprisingly-comfortable invisible barrier made of pseudomagically solidified air and even moving forward was natural. Honestly, what do you guys expect at this point? And of course my parasol was floating in just the right position that my entire body was covered even with the odd positioning. Because why not? "So what're we doing today?" I asked Gaara.

"I don't know," he said, fidgeting slightly. "Why are you with me?"

"I literally have nothing else to do. Plus we're raccoon eye buddies."

"Raccoon eye buddies?"

I traced my eye markings. "Raccoon eye buddies. I heard you've had trouble making friends in the past, so I figured you might like some company." I shrugged. "But if you don't, I can fly away."

I caught a tiny smile on his lips. "Don't go. Having a friend would be... nice..."

"Stinks that I'm going to have to leave soon... Maybe we should find you a friend who isn't from another village."

"How do you make friends?"

I opened my mouth to say something, then paused. "I don't actually know, to be honest. The only person I became friends with without random chance playing a part was Naruto-chan, and he... let's just say he would've become best friends with whoever was the first person to actually show him kindness, and that just so happened to be me. Everyone else, one could argue I was guided to them by fate..."

"What about me?" he asked.

I shrugged. "No offense, but I wouldn't be here now if it weren't for Shukaku." He frowned a bit. "That doesn't make our friendship meaningless, if that's what you're worried about." I saw a group of kids playing kickball or something and pointed to them. "Maybe we could ask to join them?" We walked (and floated) over to them. I honestly didn't really know what to say, so I just waved.

"Woah, are you floating?" one of the kids asked me.

"Yeah," I said. "Can we... join? I promise to not use my powers if you don't want me to." I lowered myself to the ground.

"Hey, isn't that the Kazekage's son?" another of the kids said. Gaara tensed up, so I squeezed his hand.

"He's cool," I insisted.

"But my mom said he's a demon."

I crossed my arms. "He has a demon sealed inside him. Big difference." I shrugged. "Sure, he used to have some trouble keeping the thing down, but I fixed that right up for him. As I said, he's cool."

"Thank you, Kouki-san," Gaara muttered.

I gave him a small smile and said, "So are we going to play or what?"

I was picked first. I guess the team captain figured I'd be awesome at sportsball because I could fly or something. Joke's on him, though, because I'm horrible at all manners of sportsball. Even with my ninja training, I was horrendous. On the other hand, Gaara was somehow the other team's best player. It didn't even look like he was trying to hard, he just... drifted over to the ball and launched it over to the goal net. Yeah, everyone ended up liking Gaara a lot more than me.

kukukuku~

I floated in the air above Suna, my senses extended as far as I could. I'd caught a faint whiff of... something while I was playing with Gaara and the others. I scanned the area, moving around a bit to get the best feel of whatever I was sensing. Whatever it was, it was vast, almost spread out, and felt a bit like Shukaku but without the malice. It was like the sands themselves were possessed, especially around Gaara. I could think of a likely suspect. I drifted to an out-of-the-way alley near the Kazekage's house, sending a beacon to the presence as I flew. It responded to my psychic touch sluggishly, like its mind was damaged or something. It felt like sand slipping through my fingers, but I reeled the presence in. As I leaned on the alley wall, the sand in front of me shifted and slowly rose up in front of me, roughly in the shape of an adult woman. "Yo," I said.

"_W͡h̘̠̩̱̬̬̱ͦ̔ͯͮ́ͮ̚o̦̙ ̫͖͐͑a͛́̃̆͢r̓̀̂̿͐̒̊e ̝̮̳͓̯͙ỹ̏̈́ͫ͌͊ͨ͞o̙͚͛͌u͛̏̿ͣ͞?̵͕͈͐̐_" the sand witch asked hollowly. "..._W͕͇̗̱̠͊ͥ͋ͤͭ̄ͅḥ̶͚̞̞̮ͬ̆̋̓̐ō̼̘͆.͇̠̆ͥ..͏̺ ̪̙͈͒̂̈͘a̡̤͔m I͕̫͎̱̮̗?̲̘̺͓̺͙̲͛͒͒̂̄̾ͩ_"

I winced. "You... aren't in the best shape, are you?" She made some noises that I took as a 'yes.' I tightened my grasp on her mind a bit. "Right, I'm going to try to help you. Can you tell me your name?"

After a few seconds of thought and me poking around in her nonexistent brain, she said, "_I̷̤ͦț̢̞͓̲̟ͅ'̻͕͖͇̣̣ͤ̊̓ͯͩ̅ͦͅs̲̦̹͔ͯ́͒̓.̱͞.͕̩̮̥̦̻̇͊̋ͮ̃ͣͪͅ.̲͖ ̍͑͑ͧ̓ͬ̾͏̙̹̮̜͚̩͍G̠̣̗̪͝ȁ̢͉̥̋r̛̠̘̺͖̬̒̔̓͐̍uda.̘̫̲̬̺͓̇̀ͦ̊̍̿.̡̯͍̯̯̤̳̓́̋̍̒ͧ.ͧ͐̉̎͊_" I tilted my head a bit and poked a few bits into place. "_N̛o͓͉͎͢,̵̫̫̱ͨ̎ͮ ́ͫ̐͜i͖̱t's̀̏̚ ̨̲̬̓̂Ḱ̬̘͋ar͏u͓̥̞͆̂ͣ͟r̙̃̀a,_" she corrected herself.

"That's good," I said in a soothing tone. "Now, can you please tell me something about yourself? Maybe any family or loved ones you have? I need you to keep focused on something, anything."

"_Th͔r̛e̙͎̜͡eͥ̃̒ ̢c̝̹h̲̹̙̎̉͌͘i͍̦̺l̨d̘̐́ṟ̔e͞ǹ̪͙̞̈̿͡,͔͖̯ a̓̇͂́ ̫̖̳͒ͩ̏d̲̮̖͊̄̿au̴g͕͎̀h̪͉͆̚t̵̐͂̚e͆r̴͔̤ ̥a̟̩̎ͦn͕̱̎̆dͣ̍ͦ ͫ͗͆tw̬̫̲ợ̀ ̴͚̩ͦ̂şo͘nś͍͎ͣ.̸ͪ __T̹̫̱e̟͈̟͒̊̒mar̔ͥ̈i̥, K̟̪̝̈́͊ͭañ͙͔̼ͮ̌k̲̋uͧ͆ro,̼̓ ä́̄̐n̦͙͈ͮͭͤd̊ͦ́_ ͑̓G͙̞̽͊a̬̾ar̗̥ͦͦa,"she said. "_I ̏͋alͭ̈́̍so ̎ḧ́̒av̅̚e ͪ̓a ̓br̊̊oͨͨthͯͣ̏eṙ̈́,̐ͨ̐ ̽̓Ȳ̈as͋h́ͩá̅mͪͫaͩͤruͭͦ...̒͒̓_"

"Good," I murmured. "Now, this might feel a bit weird, but I need to do this to stabilize you." I took out my newest demon sage core, one that I'd made from leftovers from the bandits and some insects I'd managed to attract. Okay, it was only almost done, but it was good enough for what I needed it for. I rammed the core into Karura's sandy "navel," using it to work some yin-yang magic on the unstable chakra that made her up. Her form evened out and red lines spread from the core to her arms and legs. Then I averted my eyes. "Aw, ew!" I exclaimed. "Put some clothes on!"

"I have no clothes," she noted.

"Then make some out of sand!"

"I have no idea how to do that..."

"And yet you managed to almost do a jutsu I still haven't figured out yet!" I shouted.

"My mind is still hazy..."

I grumbled a bit and formed a rough "cloth" out of the surrounding sand. "You even made yourself a body out of sand..." I wrapped the cloth around her body. "Right, you have to figure out how to keep that up." I opened my eyes as I felt the chakra of her body taking over the wrapping. Now that she was stabilizing, she looked just about human, only with the red markings and eyes colored like, though not shaped like, Shukaku's. The sand cloth had turned into a sort of cloak that made her really look like a sand witch. "You want to meet your kids now? Just to warn you, _mullo_, you've been dead for years, so they aren't exactly expecting you."

"Oh... oh dear."

kukukuku~

"Heeeey~" I said from outside the Kazekage's window. "Guess what I found today?" Thankfully, his family was there, so I didn't have to do that much work.

Rasa sighed. "What?"

I smiled a bit. "Actually, it's more of a 'who.' I believe you've met her before, though you probably aren't expecting her." The platform of sand I was standing on floated into the room, deposited me on the floor, then turned back into Karura next to me. "Introducing, for the first time in almost four years, your wife."

"Karura," he gasped.

"Rasa," she scowled.

"Oh right, you were responsible for her death," I said. "Ouch."

"Mom?" Temari asked. "Is it really you?" Karura floated over to her and picked her up, holding her close.

"Temari. I'm so, so sorry I left."

"How did this happen?" Yashamaru asked.

"I don't remember," Karura said, "but I'm grateful it did."

"If I had to guess," I said, placing one hand on my chest, "and I'm sorry to butt in here, but I think I might be the only one here who knows what's going on. So if I'm right, you had Shukaku sealed in her when she was pregnant with Gaara to see how prenatal exposure to Shukaku would influence jinchurikihood, then transferred the raccoon to Gaara, either not caring that she'd die or assuming your medics could resuscitate her because she was only jinchuriki for less than a year. That about right?" Rasa nodded grimly. "Right, so obviously that didn't work out quite like you hoped. Don't worry, I can tell you think past you was an idiot. Karura, while dying, found that she loved Gaara so much that she wanted to protect him even after death, so she imbued the sand around her with her will and chakra, or however that worked. In this, her having had Shukaku sealed inside her actually helped, as some of Shukaku's power was left over in her, so it ended up a success despite the fact that she didn't have much knowledge on the subject of yin-yang release, which would have otherwise been vital for that jutsu. 'Course, it still ended up rough, causing her to be scattered and unable to properly gather herself. The existence that was once Karura was scattered to the winds, spread about a wide area of sands and expending so much effort to simply exist that she couldn't do anything, with one exception that I do believe is still in effect." I licked my lips and pointed at Gaara, shooting a demon sage core at him fast enough that it'd hurt.

The sand blocked it.

"What was that for?" Rasa, Yashamaru, and Karura simultaneously demanded of me.

I shrugged. "Its trajectory was curved a bit. Looked like it'd hit him, enough for Gaara's still-active defense to catch it, but it would have missed if it wasn't caught. As you can see, a part of Karura was... anchored, I suppose, to Gaara, creating an automatic sand defense." I turned to the door. "Right, you guys probably wanna catch up, so I'mma go work on my seals or something now."

"Wait," Karura said. "There are still holes in my memory."

"Those'll hopefully clear up over time, though unfortunately some stuff is probably lost for good... Can't really do too much more for you. The best thing is probably to try to jog your memory, which I'm pretty sure your family and douchey ex can do better than me."

"Douchey ex?" Rasa asked.

"Until death did you part," I said with a grin. "That's the rules, right?"

Rasa blinked. "...Well you're not wrong. And Karura, I honestly wouldn't put it past you if you wanted to leave me."

"Yeah this is the part where I disappear and let you guys have a heartfelt reunion and however KaRasa's going to go." I grinned as I activated the Transparent Escape Jutsu. "And yes, that was a pun!"

kukukuku~

"Right, so maybe you should stay up on full moons," I told Gaara as I was checking the seal after his horrible, nightmare-filled sleep. "Default won't break at all under the light of the moon."

He rubbed his eyes a little more. "That was unpleasant..."

"Yeah, well at least it looks like it'll only be once every thirty days," I noted. "That should be manageable, right? Better than thirty times in thirty days."

He sighed. "I'm going to miss you when you leave..."

I gave him a small smile. "Don't worry, you can always find me..." I poked him in the chest. "...Riiiiiight here."

"But I would like to be able to talk to you more..."

"I know, I was talking about how you should theoretically be able to use Shukaku's power to telepathically contact me from anywhere in the world."

His eyes widened, and I could see a small twinkle in them. "How?"

"See, there's this thing called bijū telepathy that bijū have, and any two sources of the same type of bijū chakra can be used as a sort of relay for it. You have Shukaku and I absorbed just enough of his power from the seals you guys sent me that I gained his power, which means that we're linked. Now, I should note that because of the seal I placed on you, any time I'm calling you, you'll get a notification from your seal and have to manually allow it. Now let's teach you a new psychic power!"

kukukuku~

"This is awesome!" I yelled as I finally got to avail myself the full joy of having flight-granting crystals adhered to my body. I still made sure to keep close to Karura, Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro, who were either standing on or being used as a floating sand platform.

"_The view is breathtaking from up here_," Gaara agreed with telepathy.

"How you holding up, Karura?" I asked.

"_..._I think I like being a sand spirit_._" She sounded fine. "My children are enjoying my powers as well_._"

I smiled. Sure, we were still over a tower because of safety concerns, but we were _flying! _And the others were having fun.

kukukuku~

"That was delicious~" I sighed in delight after finishing my dinner of the third day, this time some heavenly chicken tikka. "Thank you for the meal~. So how's my favorite _mullo_ doing after a full day of life and activity?" I asked.

She poked at her food. "I still have no idea how I'm eating this..." she muttered.

"Magic?" I offered. "You holding up alright?"

"I don't feel as scattered as I did before. That's good, right?"

I shrugged. "I've literally never had to deal with a situation like this before, but that sounds about right." I stood up. "Now, I think it's you're bedtime, Gaara-chan. Let's see how the seal's doing today."

"But I want to stay up," Gaara protested.

Karura wagged her finger. "No 'buts,'" she said, then smiled. "Tell you what, I'll tell you a bedtime story. I've missed the opportunity to do that for too long."

Gaara smiled. "Okay, mother."

kukukuku~

"Goodbye!" I waved to my sendoff party as I mounted my lindwyrm. "I'll miss you all! I wish you the best!" I slumped back into Gai's chest. "And I'm pooped. G'night, Gai."

The journey home wasn't as eventful as the journey there. If there were any bandits, they were scared off by my giant monsters long before I even noticed them. I managed to make a new core with all of the bugs that my cores attracted when we set up camp for the night, especially once we hit the forest. There were a lot of bugs in the forest. Never thought I'd say that positively...

"We're back," I said with a smile as I looked at the gates. "Suna was nice, but I was starting to miss home."

"Yes, Konoha is a nice place," Gai said. "Though I must admit that I'll miss being able to train in both hot and cold environments..."

"Pretty sure you're more than fine on the training front already, dude..."


	11. Chapter 11

I smiled even before we reached the gates. "It looks like we have a welcome party," I noted, then licked my lips.

"How can you tell?" Gai asked.

"Chakra sensing."

As soon as we were inside the gates of the village, I was tackled by a very energetic blonde. "Kouki!" Naruto yelled as he did his level best to crush me like a tin can.

I awkwardly patted him on the back. "Heyyy, bud. Could I please breathe?" I choked out. I gasped for my breath after he released me from his adamantium grasp. "Stupid freakish Uzumaki strength," I grumbled in between breaths.

"What was that?" Tenten angrily asked me.

I rolled my eyes. "Not directed at you."

"Hey Kouki," Naruto said, "why are you all brown?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Okay first off I think technically it's more 'bronze' than 'brown,'" I said, "and b, it's called a tan."

"How did you get so tan in only a few days?" Dad asked me. "Didn't you have a parasol?"

I sheepishly put my hand behind my head. "Well..."

~~~~ku

_I sighed as I lounged on the thankfully clean floor in front of the window._

_"Are you _sunbathing_!?" Temari asked me._

_"Soooo waaaarm~" I replied._

_"I swear you're a cat or something."_

_I grinned a catlike grin. "Meow~" She sighed and stormed off._

~~~~ku

"...I guess I get tan really easily?" Okay to be fair I do. And it stays for a while, even if I stay inside most of the time. When my brother, whose complexion is almost exactly the same as mine, got a similarly dark tan from being a lifeguard, my mom noted that it was probably due to our "gypsy blood." I wouldn't put it that way myself, mostly due to the fact that the word "gypsy" is actually kind of offensive what the heck mom, but I guess it's a plausible reason... I was thankful, though, that the sun didn't give me any more freckles. No offense to people with a lot of freckles, but I'm fine with only having like ten freckles on my face that mostly just look like a bunch of beauty marks, thank you very much.

"Welcome back, niisan," Hinata said with a smile. I couldn't help but notice that Kurama didn't at all look like he was annoyed with Hinata carrying him.

"Sup, Hina-chan. Did Kurama-chan tell you guys I'd be here?" He huffed and turned his head away from me. "Love you too, bud!"

"So what are you going to do now that you're back?" Neji asked me.

I shrugged. "First I'm going to take a bath, then I'll probably take a nap or something. I'm pooped."

"Surprising to hear that from you," Ai commented.

"Even_ I_ have my limits, Ai. Working on the seal was fun, but I'm glad it's over and done with." I yawned. "Now if you guys don't mind, I'd like to go take a nice, long bath now." I waved goodbye. "Thanks for coming to greet me!"

kukukuku~

I yawned, sat up in my bed, licked my lips, and stretched my arms. Then I fell back to sleep.

kukukuku~

"Okay, time to work now," I said after I rolled out of bed. Before doing anything, though, I checked out my window. It was nighttime. I shrugged. "Not that much of a problem to someone with twenty four-plus hour days." I licked my lips. "Right, let's get crackin'." I assumed a meditative position on the floor and reached inward, to my chakra. Mostly the red stuff, but also some of the blue. Just as a human touched by the red (I.E. me or the jinchuriki) has to have over a certain amount of red chakra in them to not die, it seemed that beings made from the red needed at least some blue in them to function. To be honest, I should've figured that out sooner, what with how the Bijū Dama uses blue chakra. 'Course, I did figure it out when I sensed not only another Bijū, but Karura, who was a non-bijū red chakra spirit. And with that revelation came some important progress on an idea that I'd had. And over the ride home, I'd honed and perfected that jutsu, one that I was now ready to use. Sure, I'd been wary of potential danger, but I felt a lot better after a message from my future self, or at least _a_ future self... Future vision can get pretty freaky. And so, I grabbed hold of almost all of my red chakra, just leaving a comfortable yet small amount over the minimum amount I needed to live, as well as enough blue chakra to sustain a demon of that power level. I used yin-yang release and the general idea of clone jutsus in general to mold that chakra into the proper shape. When I was done, the chakra moved on its own.

I opened my eyes to see my shadow turn pitch-black, then split off into two, one normal and one still a me-shaped abyss. The ebon shadow moved and stretched so that it was across the room from me. The shadow... rose, changing in shape and color to form what felt like an alternate-universe mirror. First off, shadow me looked even more girly than I did. Sure, that wasn't saying much what with how I was still way prepubescent and had girly hair, but she had longer hair and a skirt with leggings, so there's that. Second off, she had what appeared to be fox ears and a tail, likely an artifact from Kurama even though they didn't look exactly like his. Third, she was both a pallette swap and mirror image of me. While her complexion was the same as mine, her eye markings were white with black dots instead of black with white dots, her clothes were dark red instead of blue, her hair was a shade of blue so dark it was almost black, and her eyes were red with slit pupils. As for the mirror part, her bangs were parted to the right instead of the left, that one freckle of mine that looked like a beauty mark to the left side of my lip was over on the right, and that other freckle that used to be a second beauty freckle near my left eye back in the Before Times when I wasn't a magical toddler being the only freckle by my right eye were the most obvious clues. Though she had fox ears instead of human ears, I could see she still had a rendition of the nubby nub nub thing on her right ear.

"I am thou, thou art I," she said in almost my voice. Man, that was weird. "Sup, me."

"Sup," I responded, then relaxed my posture. She did the same, though she was mindful of her skirt. I was already kind of sure of the answer, but... "Hey, just to be clear here, you're supposed to be a girl, _ja_?"

She nodded. "_Ja_. I have more control over my form than just using the transformation jutsu and I figured I should differentiate myself as much as I can from you, so..."

"I take it you picked your own name too, right?"

"Yup." She grinned. "To counter your light-light hope-and-fortune name, I picked Chikage."

"Thousand Views?" I asked jokingly.

She facepalmed and groaned. "Okay yes, I guess that that's the _traditional_ reading, but I meant more along the lines of Thousand _Shadows_. Or even Blood Shadow. Heck, Shadow of the Earth is kinda cool too."

"So does that mean I have your permission to keep 'Kouki?'" I asked.

She gave me a deadpan stare. "Dude, I literally said that I picked a name to balance out yours."

"Yeah, but if you think about it, 'Kouki' is _us_, not me. The guy that is us combined is Kouki."

She shrugged. "Would be pretty weird if you randomly started to go by another name. You're Kouki Prime and I'm totally at peace with that. Let's stop talking about semantics and see what this jutsu of ours does, exactly."

I nodded and clenched my fist. "I think I got weaker..." I unclenched my fist and did a few small stretches.

"Makes sense," Chikage said. "Even if you aren't using it, your red chakra still enhances you. Still, that also means you should have more control now."

"Right," I said. I held my hand out and tried to make some wind chakra. It felt a little off without my red chakra, but I got the hang of it surprisingly fast. Much faster than I'd managed the last time I'd tried it, wire-thin threads of wind chakra burst from my fingers, curling around my new double/clone/sister maybe? "Sorry, but you understand what I'm doing, right?

She snorted. Curiously, a small bit of smoke came from her nose when she did. "Dude, I'm _you_. Of course I know. Just make sure to ask future you first to make sure it doesn't screw us both over."

"Right, was going to do that anyway." I activated my eyes for just long enough to get a message coded to a version of myself in the exact situation I was in.

"_Yup. Go ahead._"

I didn't want to completely spoil every single highly-dangerous-yet-incredibly-interesting experiment I did, but I knew it'd be stupid to actually do them without using the Shōraigan to make sure I didn't end up turning Konoha into a crater. And so in my time of need, I discovered another power of the Shōraigan that was just as good as the ability to tell the future. At least, I'm assuming that's what happened in about a thousand other timelines that I never went down. Or I guess I did go down them, but just not the me that is me? Man, anything involving time travel gives people headaches, doesn't it. I could only time-warp information and yet I still got headaches.

Where was I?

Oh right. Main Shōraigan power number three. Or just another version of the first main power. In addition to being able to download future information directly into my brain, I found out I could send my past self and/or selves information when I randomly got thousands of very similar chronopathic messages saying something roughly along the lines of "_Holy crud dude we can send messages to our past selves!_" and some telling me to stop sending messages back to past me, which was very hypocritical of future me, but I complied. I wonder if there's a version of me who found out about the Shōraigan by having that future message sent back by an alternate version of-

"You're getting off track," Chikage said, her eyes now a slit variant of the Shōraigan. "Stop telling the fans about our new power and kill me already."

"Right, sorry." I closed my hand into a fist, causing the Wind Release: Razor Wire to chop her into pieces. Instead of blood going everywhere, though, the cuts became red chakra which reformed back into her body with some loss.

"That hurt," she muttered. "But it seems we won't find out what happens when I die if we use that. Maybe try fire?"

I nodded and we both stood up. I guess maybe it was customary to use fire chakra from the lungs, and yes that was apparently how you got the most power, but I liked the idea of channeling it through my hands better, plus that way I could try to add lightning to it despite not knowing how to do it too well. I knew fire from the hands was possible from the flashback to the time of Ninshu, so theoretically... "Do _not_ try this at home, kids." I made a few hand seals, then held my hand like how Kakashi does with the Chidori. An unfortunately uncoordinated ball of fire and lightning chakra emerged from my palm, as well as the slightest whiff of burning flesh.

Ow.

Chikage waved her arm in front of her torso, creating either a bullseye target or the illusion of a bullseye target. I thrust the ball of plasma right into the center of the target. Her body destabilized almost as soon as the probably-poorly-thought-out concoction of chakra touched her. While some was... ruined, I guess, by the attack, the majority of the chakra Chikage was made from was sucked back into my body. With the chakra came her memories, which was... interesting. I feel like I should note, though, that getting pyrolectrocuted hurts like the dickens.

"Is everything okay?" Uncle asked as he barged in. "I heard crackling sounds."

I casually stuck my hands in my pockets. "Yeah. I tried to use lightning release. Do you think you could ask Dad if I could get official training? That kinda hurt."

He looked concerned. "Are you hurt?"

I gave him a thumbs-up with my unburned hand. "Yeah, just a little stinging. Nothing a little healing factor won't cure. You should see the other guy."

"O...kay..." He thankfully left without much question, allowing me to take the other hand out and assess the damage. The friction from just taking it out of my pocket stung.

"Eeee..." I winced. I mean, it didn't look like it was too bad of a second degree burn, but... it was blackened. I really hoped that was just soot. I applied some red chakra to it and it thankfully just flaked off and didn't scar or anything. "Not doing that again, at least without adult supervision. Hope my pocket isn't ruined..." I tilted my head a bit. "Now before I can forget, I should probably do this." I activated my Shōraigan and sent a message coded to two certain iterations of my past self. Sure, it'd have happened anyway because of diverging timelines, but insert dead Daves joke here. "Right," I said. "Now that that's over. Chikage, out." She didn't do anything. I blinked. I could definitely feel her somewhere in me, but...

Oh.

I _was_ Chikage. Well that was interesting. I concentrated on what I'd done before and felt a small _snap_ in the back of my head. "_I'm back,_" she said. Red chakra flowed from my body, forming Chikage, arms crossed and leaning back onto thin air. "Is that what it feels like to fuse?" she asked.

I shrugged. "I guess maybe with Pink Steven it was, just with less nearly dying and womanchildish giants."

She chuckled and picked me up. "C'mon, we gotta do it now."

I smiled and hugged her, laughing. She hugged me back. We started laughing and spinning each other until we just melted back together. "Ah, good times," I said. "Now we should probably get a training ground so I can see what I... you... we... can do..." I sighed. "Man, this is going to be weird."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, two formatting quirks that are going to happen at least some of the time from now on. First, ~~~~ku is used whenever the narrative enters or exits a flashback. Second, while almost all of this is going to be from a first-person perspective, now there's going to be more than one narrator. Who is the same person. To avoid confusion, I'd like to clarify now that Kouki prime is the default and anyone else will be noted. And next chapter we get to see more special super awesome powers. And Konoha will almost get destroyed!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case you didn't read the notes from the last chapter, anytime any version of Kouki that isn't Kouki Prime has the spotlight, like the next scene, it will be noted before the scene begins to clarify.

_Chikage_

I axe kicked a giant rock in half. That was fun. I also found floating around not with demon sage cores but with glittery fairy wings made from demon sage chakra to be enjoyable as well. Because I was pure chakra, I was actually a lot better at handling natural energy than weak, inferior carbon-based lifeforms and could absorb more without any kind of negative effects. Sure, there was some instability if I went too high, but it was nowhere near as bad as the side effects on a human. "Dang," Kouki said from where he was sitting on another rock. I turned to face m-_him_. "So I guess you're just default a lot stronger than me. Makes sense, you're basically a mini bijū." I could tell through our connection that he was a little off about how he couldn't access the red chakra that was now me, but that was mostly overshadowed by his marvel over the potential of the jutsu. He fidgeted a bit, causing his arm to mutate slightly, red scales instead of the frog limbs that comes from using toad oil as a medium. "Dangit." The demon sage cores orbiting him sucked all of the natural energy out of him, setting him back to square one.

I grinned and "sat" on the air in front of him. "You having trouble, bro?" Kouki had decided that with the extra control granted to him whenever we were separate, combined with the fact that he couldn't fall back on red chakra without me, that he should finally learn how to make sage chakra the _right_ way.

He glared at me. "You know as well as I do that this isn't easy to do properly."

I grinned and started telekinetically messing with a leaf using my sage aura. "Do I really?" I spontaneously combusted it.

"Haha." He closed his eyes and stuck his tongue out in concentration.

"Right," I said. "Imma go see what else I can do." I melted into the ground, traveling through the shadows of the grass. It turned out that, while I couldn't move fast at all when projecting myself as a shadow that didn't already exist, whenever I entered a real shadow, I could move... well, I didn't know how fast exactly because I hadn't gotten around to figuring out how to calculate that, but at the very least it was fast enough that it looked like teleportation even when Kouki pulled a little trick with the Shōraigan to slow down the "footage." So yeah, I got to the the trees pretty dang fast. I flew out of the shadows in my bijū form, which was really just me as a fox with fur the color of my clothes with the exception of a "mane" the same color as my hair, and sliced a tree in half with my claws. I opened my mouth, compressing red and blue chakra in a way that just felt... right. Even with sage mode it was small and a little draining, but it was _still_ a bijū dama. I launched it at a tree, obliterating it into smoking mulch. I sighed at the relatively small AOE, but then grinned about the fact that I just made a _bijū dama._ Unfortunately, my victory was cut short by Kouki calling for me to come back through our telepathic link. That meant it was time for our experiment, which he wanted to be whole for just in case something went wrong. I shrugged. "_Guess it's for the best,_" I thought to myself. "_Was probably going to just throw around dama 'til I ran out of chakra._" I melted into the shadows and zipped off to Kouki.

kukukuku~

I sighed as I felt Chikage returning to me. It was reassuring to have my red chakra back, even if I didn't really use it that much. Still, I suppose I did have the sage cores to fall back on, on account of how my telepathy to other sources of my own red chakra was uninterrupted. I crossed my arms behind my back and turned around, my eyes closed. "Finally," I said. "A project months in the making, about to be fulfilled. I'm assuming you're here to watch, eh, Tenko?"

Ai laughed. "That's a lot less intimidating if we know you can sense us, kid." I sighed and opened my eyes. "And wasn't it only one month?"

I shrugged. "Felt like more. Might just have been from that one part where they read my journal..." I held my hands out in front of me and the giant scroll I'd taken to sealing as much DSC into as possible once I'd filled the demon sage seal on my body, the Scroll of the Demon Sage, appeared floating in front of me through a summoning instead of a sealing on account of how its power meant I couldn't seal it in my inventory scrolls and actually keep anything else in it as well. "This is it. What might be the second most powerful thing in Konoha." The scroll unfurled slightly, revealing a seal tag that as of then contained most of its power. Uzumaki are really good at handling stupid levels of energy, okay? At least I'd also managed to complete my first mini bijū dama paper bomb... "Are you ready to receive this power?" I asked Ai.

"Is this really necessary?" Tenko asked, worried.

"No," Ai and I both said at the same time.

"But really, what's the point of amassing an insane amount of dangerously powerful chakra if you don't infuse as much as possible into the best known person for taking in stupid amounts of chakra just to see what happens?" I elaborated.

Ai nodded and gingerly took the demon sage seal tag from its place in the scroll. "Right, so I'm guessing you have somewhere you want me to stand?"

I slung the scroll on my back and pointed over to an area I'd prepared in advance. "There. I've already set up four cores with orders to use the Four Violet Flames Formation should anything go wrong." A nice thing about having multiple potent sources of chakra at my total command, I'd found, was the fact that I could use collaboration nin- or genjutsu without actually having to collaborate with anyone.

Tenko sighed. "That's not reassuring."

Before Tenko could actually object, Ai slapped the tag on her chest. "Toolatealreadyusedit!" She quickly shouted. The red lines of the seal tag began to glow orangey-gold, then started to spread to cover her entire body in a thick chakra cloak. She laughed maniacally, floating into the air as nine tail-like chains made of the same chakra sprouted from her backside. The chains spread to curl around the entire training ground, a red, domed barrier coming into existence at the edges. I don't know if she meant to or not, but her barrier materialized just before the shinobi that I'd had posted nearby via Sandaime just in case of a worst-case scenario, cutting them off.

"Kouki-kun, what did you do to my wife?" Tenko asked worriedly.

I grinned. "'Wife?' So did either of you finally pop the question?"

She flinched, then blushed. "I... haven't yet... I do have a ring, though."

I shrugged. "Hope for the best with you two. And by the way, I'm sure it'll go over fine." Ai's maniacal laughter grew louder, causing me to turn my attention back to her. She put her hands in front of her, as if she was holding an invisible ball. Oh. "A thought occurs to me," I said, making sure to keep my voice calm.

"That doesn't sound good..." As if on cue, Ai started to slowly form a disconcertingly familiar-looking chakra ball in between her hands. In addition to that, countless streaks of energy began to slowly form in the air, gravitating to the epicenter. That epicenter being a modified bijū dama.

"So there was this one clan with a Kekkei Genkai that allowed them to passively accumulate natural energy and then use that to mutate themselves. Because they didn't work for it, though, the natural energy caused them to become uncontrollable, entering homicidal rages. Because of that, they were almost completely wiped out." At that point, I started to feel a slight tug on my chakra, though I was able to resist it.

"So what you're saying is..."

"She's drunk on power, yeah. Whoops."

"How, exactly, did you not notice that'd happen with your eyes?"

"Figured out a way to make sure that nothing bad enough I can't fix it will happen while still not spoiling me on what happens. Use exclusively that for my experiments now," I explained. I noticed a bit of chakra chain straying near me and had an idea. "Hang on, let me fix this." I tried to grab the chain with a chakra thread, but it was just sucked in, so I aborted almost immediately and just lunged at it. It was starting to get to the point where I needed to have my sage cores actively cling to me to make sure they weren't sucked in. That would be bad. Thankfully, I managed to grab the chain and my theory was right. Just like how Kurama still held some link to my red chakra and Kaguya still had some link to his chakra, I could feel my connection to the chakra in the modified Adamantine Sealing Chain. I grabbed it with both hands, wrapped one side around my arm, then tugged the two sides in opposite directions. With a bit of willpower applied, one link snapped and got spaghettified by the still-growing ball of impending doom, leaving me with a really long chain of chakra that I could control wrapped around my arm. "Right, let's hope this works or Konoha probably becomes partially made of smoking crater," I said, glad that I'd picked one of the farthest training grounds from Konoha proper, then pulled a leaf out of Ai's new book and sucked the chain into my body, making sure to strip enough natural energy off of it that I didn't become a glittery garden statue. "Oooh," I grunted, then sucked in a breath. I noticed that with one chain down, the chakra-sucking had slowed back down, though I knew it was going to pick back up if I didn't do anything.

"Are you okay?" Tenko asked.

"Yeah, just a bit of a rush," I said. "Sorry. Well, here goes..." I concentrated on the chakra that I'd absorbed. After a few seconds, I was able to form two purple chains of chakra that emerged from my sleeves. I drew on the power I'd stolen from Ai to lengthen the chains significantly, taking the shortest possible paths I could to intersect her chains with my own. Once I'd gotten all of her chains, I tugged on the chakra in them, converting Ai's golden chains to my purple chains. The effect cascaded, eating away at all of her chains until her chains were fully turned, making the barrier fall and stopping the suction effect fully. I jerked my arm, causing nine chains to sprout from Ai's arms and wrap around the bijū dama. I started retracting the chains back into my body, removing almost every last trace of demon sage chakra from Ai's body. Thankfully, she didn't fall on her face, as she was able to recover almost immediately and shoot some now non-glowing yellow chains into the ground and lower herself down gently.

"I have no idea what just happened, but I'm assuming it worked because I can make chains out of my chakra now," she said.

I nodded, concentrating on the ball of dangerously explosive chakra I was slowly reeling in. "Tenko, I need you to take the scroll off of my back and open it up a bit." She did as I asked, holding the scroll up so I could easily access it. I slowly put my hands on the scroll, converting the chain into the seal. The chain, no longer attached to my body, continued to reel in the demon sage chakra. As it did that, I placed my hand on the chain, removing the impurities the chakra gained from being in Ai's system. I greedily absorbed those bits of chakra. As I suspected, my body accepted it as readily as it did Shukaku's chakra.

"What exactly happened there?" one of the shinobi asked now that they'd arrived.

"Science," I answered.

"What were we even supposed to do about that?"

I shrugged. "Sorry, I didn't expect that to happen. I just figured Ai wouldn't have very good control of her chains at first. Turns out that that much sage chakra means going crazy, though."

"So I'm guessing I shouldn't use that seal for a super mode?" Ai asked after walking over to us. I swiped the empty tag that still stuck to her.

"No, if I segment it to lower the dosage, then it both becomes multi-use and lets you keep your sanity, at the tradeoff of power, obviously. Just make sure to use it for emergencies only. And while we're at it, I should be able to eventually teach you how to enter proper sage mode, which you could do any time with just a few minutes to charge up." I looked back up to survey the mostly concerned, but with one happy, faces looking at me. "I'd say that this little experiment has been a success."

kukukuku~

Yeah, I got chewed out by my dad. In hindsight, though, I really couldn't blame him. Thankfully, I was able to get off with just a tongue-lashing and promising to make absolutely sure to test out anything that could theoretically have a large blast radius by making a sage core take it far away from Konoha and remote detonate it or just not do it at all. To be honest, though, I was bracing myself for a grounding, so I was actually fine with that. And he even organized a lesson on nature transformation for me. After giving me another lecture, this time on not doing things that could potentially destroy my hands or other parts of my body unless absolutely necessary. And so there I was, leaning on the wall of the Hyūga compound courtyard. I'd made sure that there was a chain of shadows that Chikage could use to get away from me because I knew Kakashi was going to use that one chakra paper thing on me and I didn't want to have any interference from her/my power, yet still have her accessible once we started the lesson in earnest. "Sup," I said when Kakashi arrived.

"So you want to learn how to use nature transformation?" he asked.

I shrugged and licked my lips. "I already know how to use wind, but I'd like to learn at least the basics of the others."

"Right, learning it now if you have the chakra for it is actually probably a good idea." He pulled out a piece of paper. "I doubt you can do much with it at the moment, but at the very least, you'll be able to practice until you're ready for the big stuff." He used the paper, crinkling it. "This paper is made to test one's elemental affinity. Channel a light amount of chakra onto it and it'll react in different ways depending on what your primary affinity is. Mine's lightning, so the paper became wrinkled." He gave me a second piece of paper. "You try."

I complied, channeling a bit of my chakra into the paper. "Well what a coincidence," I said, referring to the fact that my paper was now as crumpled as his was. "We have the same element, don't we?"

"Yes, that's what that means. I suppose we'll start with the lightning exercises, then?"

I called Chikage back, and she reentered me without Kakashi even seeming to notice. For whatever reason, her chakra signature was muted whenever she was inside a shadow, and she could easily suppress her signature even more, so the only way he would've noticed was when we joined or if his Sharingan was out. It would've been the perfect ability for stealth if not for the fact that she couldn't bring anything with her, and I was already trying to think of ways around that one little weakness. Well, there was also the little snag of how she needed shadows, but really, where aren't there shadows?

"Let's start this lightshow, then," I said with a smile.

kukukuku~

_And now for something completely different._

A rabbit bounded across a field near End Valley. It did not know what its destination was, just that something was... calling to it. It stopped by the roots of a great tree and began to sniff at the ground. Whatever it was looking for, it was there. It found it after a few minutes of searching. A small red stone, barely a flake, that glowed with some unearthly light. Now hat it could see it, the rabbit's every instinct screamed to get away, that this stone was a predator, but it couldn't stop itself. Its body wasn't its own anymore. The now-terrified rabbit tried to fight back with all its might as its head came closer to the gem, but to no avail. The stone already had a hold over it, it just needed to touch it and it would be over. A spectre of death seemed to emerge from the jewel of death, ready to embrace the rabbit. When the rabbit's head was close enough, the stone lifted from the ground and adhered to its forehead. The rabbit screamed as a foreign presence entered its body, burning away its very soul to make room for something else.

I grinned a rabbitty grin and hopped around a bit, testing out my new rabbit body. It was a shame that I could only gain a proper body by stealing it from a living creature, but what can you do? I sniffed at the ground with my new nose. The rabbit's sense of smell was different from my original's, but when I took over the rabbit's brain I gained complete access to all its memories, so I was able to adjust soon enough. Plus I noticed that I could understand rabbits now. I sent a telepathic message back to Kouki and Chikage.

"_You find a body?_" they asked.

"_Yup. Rabbit. Surprisingly good chakra affinity, despite being wild,_" I replied.

"_Cool. Right, you should probably act natural for at least a month, to build up plausible deniability._" they instructed. "_Then you can start doing supernatural stuff. Cannibalize the body and continue your mission._"

I sent a scoff through our link. "_I know what to do, I have all your memories._"

"_Stop being so sarcastic, you're not supposed to be me._"

"_Right._"

"_By the way, did you pick out a name?_"

I gave a small rabbit grin. "_Of course. If my first body after my 'resurrection' is to be that of a rabbit's, then why shouldn't my name be Usagi?_"

"_Cool. You'd better give at least one 'name of the moon' speech though._"

"_Certainly. I would never pass up such an opportunity._" It may have purely been within my mind, but I was already preparing my cover by practicing my new mannerisms, at the very least those dealing with how I spoke.

"_Right, I'ma get back to this stupid leaf, you go do your rabbit thing. Rabbit._" I hopped around a bit, searching for some food. A deep cover assignment. It was going to be marvelous.

kukukuku~

I growled as I passed my chakra through the leaf. No matter what I did, it just wasn't getting wet!

"Did you try turning it off and turning it back on again?" Chikage asked me as she floated over me.

I rolled my eyes, cut off the flow, then let my chakra flow over the leaf like water once more. "Don't think that helped."

"Dude it's been a day," she said. "You're not Naruto, you don't have an army of clones to poorly manage yet still somehow get your thing done. Just take a deep breath, accept that this is going to take some time, and do the other three exercises that you actually _did_ make some headway in. You don't have Tsunade-levels of control when we're unfused yet."

I stared at her for a second. "How are you taking this better than me?" I asked.

"I mean, two heads are better than one. I have the perspective that you're being a lil dummy."

I stopped trying to wet the leaf and started trying to set it aflame instead. Because I already had experience doing it with and as Chikage, it started to smoke after a few seconds. I removed my thumb, seeing a smoldering thumbprint on it. Chikage picked it up, then it just disintegrated. "Showoff."


	13. Chapter 13

I sighed, then took another bite of my dango. The page of my book flipped, and my frown deepened. Poison-making looked hard... And more than that, it was complicated and boring. Sure it was practical, but nowhere near as fun as, say, the chakra threads I was using to "levitate" both my dango and my book (I didn't want to get dango on my book or book on my dango).

"'Sup, kid," a familiar voice said, and I extended another thread to catch the hand that reached for my dango. "Almost didn't recognize you there with that tan, but who else casually uses a jutsu like that?"

"Anko," I greeted faux-angrily. She was somehow almost always there whenever I went to get dango, and I eventually managed to talk to her. "I do believe that I told you not to touch my dango." The thread around her wrist went slack and dissipated, allowing her to withdraw her hand. She just shrugged, sat down across from me and started eating her dango.

"So is that a book about poison?" she asked me.

"I don't really understand it, but yeah it is."

"I happen to know a thing or two about poison, especially after..." Her expression soured. "_Him_."

I closed my book and licked my lips. "Speaking of him," I said. "I do believe I've figured something out." I raised my hand to one of my DSC earrings, and it floated to the back of her neck, where her curse mark was. "Ah, I was right. I should be able to partially nullify your seal."

Her eyes widened. "You can?"

"I mean, I don't think I'll be able to remove it without causing major damage to you, at least not without the original notes, but this..." I used the demon sage core to extract the natural energy from the mark, then placed a seal on it to prevent it from drawing in more. "Feel better?"

She rubbed the curse mark. "Yeah, lots..."

I smiled slightly and my core returned to my ear. "That's because I just removed its ability to accumulate natural energy, and drained it too. Now that I've become more adept at using these things, I can use them to detect the natural energy around me. Orochimaru's mark certainly is interesting, shame the man himself was terrible."

Anko grinned at me. "You know, I actually have access to all his stuff, seeing how I was his apprentice and all. He didn't like the idea of anyone else touching his notes, so me giving it to someone is probably a good way to spite him. Plus I could teach you way more about poison than some dumb old book!"

My grin widened. I'd have sealed her mark either way, but finding a dialogue tree that got me Orochimaru's notes and explanations on it was a _godsend_. "Looks like I found myself a teacher, then. Oh, and by the way."

"What's up, kid?"

"That seal was probably screwing with your metabolism. You'll probably have to actually work off all those sweets now."

Anko winced. "Dammit..."

kukukuku~

I meditated under a tree again, paying some attention to Hinata playing with Naruto and Tenten as with before. This time, though, I was just doing the regular sage training and not my weird convoluted separate-recombine approach. I'd managed to use a single sage core to make a really thin barrier that pivoted like the platforms on the spires the toads had that also made it look like I was just mildly floating. "What are you doing?" a voice asked._ I_ couldn't see him with my eyes closed, but Chikage within my shadow shared her sight with me. And then I would've figured it out anyway from the sound of someone eating chips behind the original speaker.

"Why hello, Nara Shikamaru and Akimichi Chōji," I said, not even opening my eyes. "I am meditating on the energy that abounds in nature, and surrounds us all. With it, a true sage can do incredible feats."

"That can't be true," Shikamaru said. "Wouldn't we know more about such a troublesome power?"

I smirked, and a random falling leaf that got too close to me was shredded from a disturbance in the surrounding natural energy.

"Woah!" Chōji exclaimed. "What was that?"

"Mendokuse..." Shikamaru muttered. "So why don't people use this more often?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "I believe it has something to do with how the only other user of the power of the sage that I know of with no relation to the summon animals of snake or toad was Senju Hashirama, who at the same time one might argue had a slight relation to toads through his distant ancestor. And I have a theory that he actually had some sort of natural energy-related power even beyond sage powers, one tied to his bloodline."

"Mendokuse... How do you know this?"

"Magic. While I don't suggest you actually draw in natural energy without supervision from someone who would be able to expel the natural energy from your body, you seem like the type to be content to lie still from elongated periods of time, which you could use to try and sense the natural energy in the air, which is the basis of using sage power."

Shikamaru blinked. "So you're saying I could potentially get a lot more powerful just by sitting around?"

"You need to draw in natural energy for a bit before you can actually use it, but yeah. Also, you need a good amount of chakra before it's safe to do it, so don't expect to just take a nap and get superpowers."

"Well then why are you doing it?" Chōji asked. "Even if you have more chakra than normal, you're a kid like us. Is it really that safe?"

"Tseseseseh~" I chuckled. "Nnnope, I'm just an idiot with a lot of chakra."

"You're the one kid Ino told us about, aren't you?" Shikamaru asked. "The weirdo."

"Yup."

"Mendokuse..."

I felt a wave of bad vibes through Chikage and heard some shouting. I bolted upright, forgetting that I was in the middle of absorbing natural energy. My leg gave out from under me, causing me to drop to one knee and suck in a breath. "Are you okay?" Chōji asked me.

I rolled up the pant of the offending leg, revealing skin that was half crystallized and half scaled. "Ah, that's not good," I muttered, then licked my lips. "This is why you don't mess around with natural energy without adult supervision, kids..."

"Mendokuse... Is there any way we can help you?"

"No, hang on. I got this. Let's see here..." I concentrated, using my experience manipulating natural energy with my various unconventional forms of sage jutsu to help me. The problem was that I had natural energy concentrated in my leg. I didn't have much in the other parts of my body, so I just redistributed the natural energy. My leg returned to normal as I felt the surge of power from a proper sage mode. Thanks to Chikage, I was able to see that the markings around my eyes changed to be the yin-yang symbol thingy, and moon symbols appeared on my cheeks. "There, that's better," I said. "Really hope this stuff isn't carcinogenic... Let's go check out that shouting." Before either of them could object, I shot off. Even with my sage chakra not quite as potent as it could have been on account of my age and chakra capacity, I was still a lot faster than the two. I did go at a pace that they could easily catch up to, though, on account of the fact that I didn't want to burn through all of my sage mode. At what Chikage told me was the source of the negative emotions, I felt two familiar chakra signatures, very much in a panic. I came upon the scene. Thankfully, there were only a few people there, and they all appeared to be too afraid to do anything.

"Get back!" the guy holding the knife to Ino's throat shouted. He appeared to have taken her and Sakura hostage. Judging by the sack of loot on the ground by him, he'd robbed someone and was trying to get away. I could tell that neither he nor any of the onlookers had much shinobi training with the exception of one man who was probably a low chūnin judging by his chakra, which was probably why there was such an impasse. "I'm not afraid to use this!"

"Really?" I asked. "This is the third young clan heiress that I've had to save. This is starting to be bad writing."

The man pointed the knife at me. "What are you gonna do, kid?"

I gave him a twisted smile. "This." I flashed through a series of practiced seals as fast as I could, drawing on the power of my sage cores, punctuated with a technically-superfluous slam surface seal. "True Demonic Illusion: Summoning of the Shadow Demon!" I shouted as an illusory seal made of some sort of dark energy formed underneath me. As I stood back up, a false, distorted Chikage rose from the ground behind me, forming from the dark energy. The illusion of Chikage looked older and larger, and it had sharpened teeth, claws, and eyes of pure shadow. To add to the dark imagery, it was wearing Chikage's new outfit, which she'd made inspired by the gothic lolita style to go with her whole "demon of a thousand shadows" shtick. It actually looked rather good on our dark skin. The illusion beckoned to the man, causing a feeling of unease in the bystanders.

To the would-be kidnapper, though, the illusion caused a pressure of unrelenting foreboding as the sun went dark and the land turned to shadows. "What the hell is that!?" He dropped his knife and hostages and tried to run.

"I think not," I said dully as my shadow, the true Chikage, reached his shadow, causing him to freeze up and my shadow to return to normal from Chikage entering his. "You've been possessed by my demon." In truth, the entire genjutsu was just smoke and mirrors, albeit elaborate ones. The illusory Chikage was both a medium to the hallucination suggestion and misdirection from Chikage's shadow movement. The reason that that worked, though, was because Chikage had the ability to possess people by entering their shadows, which was awesome. Without need for the genjutsu, I dropped it, letting the phantasmal copy fade from existance. I snapped my fingers, causing the man to stand up straight so he wasn't stuck in an awkward position, then walked up to Ino. "You okay?" I asked, holding a hand out to her.

She sniffed. "My neck hurts a bit and I scraped my knees, but I'm good now." She smiled and let me pull her up, and I placed two fingers on the thankfully small cut on her neck. Green-hued chakra sprang from my fingers and sealed her wound. I moved on to her knees, then walked over to Sakura.

"What about you, Sakura-chan?" She whimpered and showed me her hands, which were all scraped up. I smiled at her and placed my hands on hers, but before I could even use my basic healing jutsu something weird happened. The natural energy flowed out of my body and into her. Whatever she was doing, I could tell she didn't even know she was doing it. Once my sage mode was depleted I pulled her up and removed my hands from hers, revealing perfectly unscathed palms.

"Thank you, Kouki-kun," she said. Whatever the heck happened, she was now naturally passing natural energy through her body. If I had to bet, she'd automatically heal any injuries that happened to her. Interesting.

"Thanks, Kouki," Ino said. I looked over to her and noticed she was smiling and blushing slightly. She probably didn't have an actual crush on me considering her age, but I knew how she would think about the dashing knight in shining armor...

"_Mendokuse_..." I internally sighed.

"_Mendokuse_..." Chikage telepathically agreed.

"_Mendokusai desu ka?_" Usagi asked.

"_Mendokuse..._" Chikage and I mentally chorused. At least if she kept that up I'd save Sasuke a bit of trouble and she wouldn't ruin her friendship with Sakura, but... ugh...

"Where's the thief?" an Uchicop asked as he landed, then saw the guy standing there and whipped out a kunai. "You! Stop!"

"He's under my spell, he literally can't move without my say-so," I said. "Or at least I'm assuming the guy who took some hostages and had a sack of what appeared to be ill-gotten goods was also a thief."

"What do you mean, under your spell?" he asked. The thief's shadow morphed into Chikage's for a moment, just a flash.

"A genjutsu that I thought of after hearing of the Sharingan's genjutsu-casting abilities," I lied. "It uses a special ability of mine with an illusion as a visual medium to place a suggestion on a victim that allows me to control them. Unfortunately I can only do one person at a time so far and a powerful enough shinobi would probably be able to resist it, but hopefully it'll get a lot more useful when I'm older."

"Right," the cop said, then cuffed the crook. "Well, thanks for the help." If I had to guess, he was one of the more good-natured Uchiha. I doubted he'd have anything to do with the rebellion. "I'm sure you'll be a good ninja when you're older. For now, though, maybe you should stay out of trouble, kid."

"No promises." He snorted and escorted the guy away, taking the sack with him.

"What was that?" Shikamaru asked me. "And don't say genjutsu, because I know the difference between an illusion and shadow-manipulating jutsu."

"Definitely not your clan's jutsu, don't worry," I muttered so only he'd hear. I leaned over _just_ a bit so that the tip of my shadow touched a nearby shadow, letting Chikage come back to me. "I was telling the truth when I said it was a special power of mine."

"It have anything to do with that weird meditation thing you did earlier?"

I smirked a bit and licked my lips. "Let's go with that. You'll never be able to use it, if that's what you're asking."

"Mendokuse..."

kukukuku~

I sighed, lying down on my bed. "What are we going to do about Ino?" I asked Chikage.

She shrugged, floating around as always. Not that I could blame her. "We... let her down gently?"

"Yeah, but how? Relationships are hard..."

"Gonna have to get back to you on that one..." We both sensed someone coming to the clan compound.

"Hey, is that..."

"Lemme check." She shadow-travelled there and back, only gone for less than a second. "Yup, Aburame Shibi. And it looks like those bugs we spared earlier _were_ kikaichū, 'cause he's bringing a couple mutant ones in a bug cage." I nodded, then we became whole again. I silently walked to the front door, where the clan leader already was.

"...apologize for the intrusion, but earlier a member of our clan's kikaichū were drawn to an unusual source of chakra located within your compound," he explained to my father. "She managed to regain control of them, but not before some had died and others had... changed." He brought out the mutated bugs, which had rune-like markings much like the first-stage curse marks. They were acting pretty crazy. "They may not be able to escape this cage, but they are still far livelier than the normal variety and much harder to control. I am not accusing you or any of your clan of anything, but I would very much like to know what caused this, as it might prove useful to our clan."

"Well, the thing about that is..." Dad said.

"Would you trust him, father?" I asked, announcing my presence.

He nodded. "Go ahead, Kouki."

"Right, let's go somewhere more private," I suggested.

"So," I said once we'd come to a suitable room, "what the kikaichū felt was... let's just say a jutsu of mine." I brought out the half-sized demon sage core that fed on the Aburame's bugs. "This is called a demon sage core. Despite all appearances, it's a living thing that generates special chakra that, among other things, can be used to make more demon sage cores from living animal tissue. Unfortunately that's the only way to make it, though, and since I don't want to mass-murder people or large animals, that pretty much means I have to use its animal-attracting properties to occasionally draw in and cannibalize insects. I was doing that earlier, which is why you're here." On a hunch, I reached out to the demon kikaichū, influencing them through my power within them. They instantly calmed, becoming absolutely still. "Could you release them?"

"I see..." He opened the small cage. I commanded the bugs, causing them to fly out of the cage as one. They entered a formation on my command and began orbiting my body.

"Don't worry," I said, noticing a small shift in his emotional state. "I have no interest in usurping the kikaichū jutsu and even if I did I can only control these mutated ones through my power that they absorbed, if that's what you're worried about."

"I understand. It is interesting, though, that you're able to control them so easily."

"I doubt I could control anything more complex than them with so much ease. Not without a lot more of the special chakra, anyway." A thought occurred to me. "Actually, I thought of another thing I'd like to try, though this one might possibly have the potential to be arguably a usurpation of your clan secrets, so I'll only try it with your permission."

Dad sighed. "Why am I not surprised... I apologize for my son, Shibi. He... can be rather focused on power, even if he tries not to overstep boundaries."

"I am fine," Shibi said. "Why? Because he asked for my permission, and clearly wishes not to overstep his bounds. Tell me, Kouki-kun, what is it you wish to try?"

"I don't have much data to go by, but I think I might be able to gain special chakra-related powers by granting my special chakra to a subject and then absorbing it once it's fused with their chakra," I explained. I'd noticed, after the whole demon sage seal debacle, that I'd gained extra, Uzumaki-like vitality. After a talk with Ai, I found out that I could still manifest the adamantine chains that I used against her, despite that chakra having been fully processed by my body, much like how absorbing enough of Shukaku's chakra combined it with Kurama's chakra in me. It made sense, all things considered, that a combination of my red chakra, which was easy to transfer from body to body, and natural energy, which had mutagenic properties, would allow my body to adapt to others' chakra intead of just adapting other chakra to me. In fact, I could also make my chakra signature almost identical to Ai's, which was probably useful somehow. "I'd like to see if I could gain the kikaichū's ability to drain and absorb regular chakra by, well, killing some of them by draining them dry. With your permission, of course."

Shibi nodded slightly. "An interesting power. Could you grant that ability to another?"

I shrugged. "Maybe. I mean, I didn't exactly come with a manual, but if you want me to see if I could grant some of your people kikaichū powers then I'd certainly be willing to find out. Plus, the possibilities..." I grinned. "Tseseseseseh~" I hiss-chuckled, then licked my lips. "It's certainly something I'd be willing to do for you. Is that a yes?"

"I would prefer if you left a few for us to study, but take as many as you need."

"Alright, then. Let's see if half works, shall we?" Half of the beetles returned to the cage, while the other half landed on my hand. They didn't bite me, but I had them start draining me to get a feel for how their power worked. "Assimilation Jutsu." Safisfied by what I felt, I reversed the flow of the chakra, capitalizing on the connection the chakra-draining gave us to more easily suck the chakra out of their bodies. Despite the enhanced lifespan and vitality granted from their mutation, they stilled and fell from my body as all the chakra left them. "Do you want the corpses or can I try to resuscitate them to add to one of my cores?" I asked.

"Do as you please. Did it work?"

I commanded the demon sage core to go at the recently-deceased beetles, then looked inward. "It feels like it's working, but my body has to 'digest' the chakra before I can use it. And it might be partially physical, in which case I might not have the power. I'll get back to you on it. Now." The demon sage core, slightly bigger now that it was done absorbing the bugs, floated over to Shibi. "Don't worry, it's harmless unless it's specifically made to attack someone."

He took the core. "Why are you giving this to me?"

"As Father said, I'm... more than a little obsessed with power, I admit. It doesn't have to be _my_ power, though. I'm also interested by my allies' power, even my enemies' power. And giving my allies power?" I grinned slightly. "Well, I'm sure you can tell how I feel about that. I'm not even worried about if you turn against me for some reason. We've already established that those things are less than useless against me. Not to mention, I'm getting something else out of this too."

"How so?" Shibi asked.

"Kikaichū, like most insects, have a low lifespan, and can reproduce at a rapid rate because of that. It wouldn't be too much to ask, then, to sacrifice any of your kikaichū at the end of their lifespan when they start to become less useful to you to that core to produce more demon sage cores for me, would it?"

"We feed our dead kikaichū to the living, but we can feed some to it, if that is the price for having it to study."

"Good. Make a snake seal and pulse some chakra at the thing to send it into 'eat' mode for a couple of minutes, which'll make it eat any insect-sized organism that touches it. Hopefully. Just in case, don't touch it while it's in eat mode."

"Suddenly I feel as though I should not be holding this," Shibi said, then placed the core in a little baggie that was probably for dead bugs.

"Probably a good idea, once it's fully out of my influence. This close to me, though, I don't have to concentrate on it to have some measure of control over it. It should stay more or less inert, though, in a state where it'll produce chakra enough to fill its stores and not resist kikaichū draining. Tell me if it doesn't work quite right, though, and I'll try to make adjustments."

Shibi got up. "Thank you for this, Kouki-kun. I will do my best to make you not regret giving it to me."

I gave him smile. "Goodbye. Make sure to only let people you trust near that thing, or even aware of its existence for that matter. Good luck!" Shibi faltered a bit, then continued on. "This is going to be fun," I said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter's going to be a time skip. Well, an even longer time skip. And it's going to be a real-life time skip too, because this is where the stuff I already have written ends.
> 
> And I'm actually going to do a poll! I'm not entirely sure how the Hyūga clan would take Kouki having the power to copy their bloodline, but the subject would definitely come up over the course of the time skip, so I'll leave that up to you guys!
> 
> A: Kouki is allowed to gain the Byakugan, on account of being a Hyūga.  
B: Kouki isn't allowed to gain the Byakugan, on account of not being born of the clan.
> 
> I'm leaning more towards B, but I won't not do A if enough people want to see it. And by the way, I'm welcome to and invite other suggestions.


	14. Chapter 14

Hinata's palm struck me in the jaw, causing me to grunt. "**Kick his ass, Hina-chan!**" Kurama cheered from the sidelines. It was nice seeing how well those two were getting along, even if it meant him encouraging her to beat me up. The two of them actually helped each other a lot. Hinata warmed Kurama up to humankind and got him to be slightly less angry, while Kurama made sure to rub some of his "I'm better than you lousy humans" pride off on her, causing her to be a bit more confident. Plus he liked imparting little bits of arcane knowledge upon his favorite human, meaning...

I just barely noticed with my chakra sense that Hinata was leaking a small amount of chakra out of her fingertips, so I jumped back. Unfortunately, I'd determined with my eyes that expressing too much interest in obtaining the Byakugan with my chakra assimilation would only cause most of the clan to grow wary of me, so I didn't have the ability to actually see her jutsu, but at least I knew to stay away. I made a few seals, but had to stop when the barely-there chakra rushed me. Even though I moved my arms the chakra swerved faster than I thought it would, causing my left arm to go completely numb. "Ow," I said despite the fact that the problem was that I couldn't feel any pain in my arm. "You're getting faster with that, aren't you?"

"Yeah," Hina-chan said. "Kurama-chan helped me figure it out."

I tried to move my arm, but couldn't. Eight Trigrams Heavenly Will as it was called by most of the family, or much less pretentiously Tenketsu Puppetry Jutsu by Hinata, was a jutsu Hinata invented by combining the basics of Jūken that she was learning with the chakra threads I'd showed her how to make and then some sort of advice from Kurama. In addition to acting like a ranged, though technically much less potent, version of Jūken, the threads stayed inside the tenketsu of the victim meaning that not only was any recovery from the attack blocked until they were removed but she could also, as her name for it suggested, puppeteer my arm. "Impressive, sis, but you know that that doesn't exactly work on me." I raised my right pointer finger, causing a single link of yellow chain to form on it. With a bit of concentration, I changed the yellow Adamantine Sealing Chain to a purple permutation, Adamantine Destruction Chain. I swiped at roughly where I felt the chakra threads with it, managing to snap all of them and suck the foreign chakra from my body.

I'd figured out that my assimilation could also adapt powers that were compatible enough together. I was already working under the assumption that I couldn't just make new elements by combining people's affinities because that would be broken, but I did alchemize Ai's Adamantine Sealing Chain together with the Kikaichū's Parasitic Destruction to make chains that could drain chakra as well as disrupt it for some extra chakra cost. Plus, the disruption and absorption effects synergized, enhancing each other's performance. And there was also the || combination, Parasitic Sealing, which allowed me to cover my body in an aura that disrupts and absorbs chakra. But I digress. I pointed the chain link at Hinata, shooting an entire chain at her. The general consensus of anyone who I used my special chains on was that if I got a grab in the fight was over. Sure, I could still only have more than a few links out for a few seconds without any boost, but between the draining and the throw I could easily pull off with with the chains I only needed one good grab to wear down even adults. At least enough to jump in with a few cheap hits to finish them off. Hinata obviously knew this by now, so she ducked under my chain, then rolled out of the way when I tried to pin her to the ground. I was expecting her to do that, though, and had already prepped my next jutsu. Metal marbles, designed so I could hurt but not kill with my magnet release, scored hits on her side. I charged, and she blocked my foot with her hand. I winced, realizing my mistake when my leg turned numb from the near-instantaneous point-blank Heavenly Will. I used my core-based flight to try to kick her with my other foot, but she got it before I could.

"Full body takeover, eh?" I asked as the rest of my body below my neck was wrested from my control. Really, having a relatively non-draining jutsu that might as well be an automatic win to anyone in melee distance is even more broken than I am...

"Sorry, but can I practice this for a bit?"

I tried to shrug, but remembered the futility. "Go ahead. I still have control over my sage cores, so I can catch myself if you slip up." Hinata spent the rest of the sparring session finding stupid dances to make me do, egged on by Kurama. I did get her to work on her proxy chakra control a bit, though. She could almost make me do Jūken by the end.

kukukuku~

Tenten said something, probably about how much it stank that we had to go to school, as we walked ourselves to school. Well, they walked and I floated because I actually may or may not have a bit of trouble matching other people's walking paces, especially if I'm not paying too much attention. I don't know what she was saying, though. I was thinking. I mumbled something in response and pulled out my sealing notebook and note-taking pencil, which I used to write down the formula I thought of. I tuned out their conversation as I sketched the complex seal down as best I could. "You messed up a little there," Tenten said as I was finishing off the last strokes.

"Hm?" I asked.

She pointed to one of the runes and oh my that was very wrong. "I'm not sure, but I think it'll just tear a hole in the fabric of space if you don't fix that stabilizing rune." I thanked her and hurriedly fixed it.

"I feel like maybe you should _not_ write down a seal that could potentially _tear a hole in the fabric of space itself_ until you're absolutely sure it won't do that?" Neji said with more than a little concern.

To be honest, I didn't blame him, but... "Graphite's pretty much the worst for making seals," I explained, "which means that it's really good for practicing making seals because it's almost impossible to activate it without noticing."

"Well why didn't you have me use a pencil when you were trying to teach me seals, then?"

Finished, I stowed the notebook. "Okay in my defense I wasn't expecting you to screw up the easiest seal in the book when given detailed instructions, much less screwed up enough to accidentally make an incredibly simplified explosive seal. And with the last seal I had you do, I think we both know that you should always assume that there will be an explosion when making a paper bomb." I tried to teach Neji fuinjutsu once. Turns out he's literally the worst at it. He somehow managed to turn a basic light seal into a thankfully tiny bomb with only a big enough blast radius to burn itself off of whatever it's written on, which apparently was a theme with him. No matter what, he would always make bombs out of whatever seal I gave him. And then, when I tried to have him purposefully make a bomb, hoping that maybe he was just some sort of bomb savant, he **somehow** managed to make a seal tag that teleported itself and whatever it was touching to a random place within a fifty meter radius. Which, okay, free spacetime ninjutsu, but _how_? "I'm still scratching my head on how you managed to make a short-range teleport out of a bomb. Speaking of, what's your mom make of it, Tenten?"

"She's still on that high from the wedding, so she's been more concentrated with being all lovey-dovey with Mommy than looking over the seal, but she did say to never let Neji near a seal again when I told her it was supposed to be a paper bomb."

"It wasn't really that bad, was it?" Neji asked.

Tenten laughed and shook her head. "Not at all, Neji..."

"...It's much worse," I finished her sentence with a slight grin. We high-fived. "When I looked at the seal you were making with my eyes, I saw a _lot_ of different possibilities. Random teleportation was one of the better ones. You don't want to know what the worse ones were."

"Right." He didn't believe me. To be fair, I did tend to mess with him... And _was_ messing with him. "So what's the seal you were working on supposed to do? I'm assuming it's somehow related to spacetime."

"Yeah, normally when people screw up seals that have nothing to do with spacetime, the result doesn't do anything to the fabric of reality," Tenten said, elbowing Neji.

"Shut it."

I shrugged. "You're right, though. It was most certainly a spacetime seal."

"Yeah, it looked a bit like an object summoning seal, but a little different," Tenten said. "Was it meant to swap objects between two paired seals?"

"Close. My hope is that it'll form a portal between two locations when chakra's input on both ends, and that it's compatible with demon sage chakra. It's still a little rough around the edges, though."

"Let me guess, secret base," Tenten said.

I brushed my hand through my hair. I was combing it less now, so it was a bit curlier and fluffier. "Obviously. In fact, I have an agent working on finding the location right now. Haven't found anything good yet, though."

"How do you have an agent?" Neji asked me.

"Magic." I noticed a certain building and pointed at it. "Hey, isn't that the school? That looks like a school."

"Yup, that's the school," Tenten said. "Mommy took me here a lot. Mama's job is a little less kid-friendly, plus the teachers looked after me when I didn't want to sit through Mommy's classes."

"Oh right," I said. "Your mom's a teacher."

"Yeah, I said that earlier, weren't you paying attention?"

Something about that sentence felt a little doomy, though I couldn't tell why. "No, I was thinking about how to breach through spacetime to reach another location without accidentally summoning Mega Neo Beqthulhuzillaon, Destroyer of Souls and Eater of Worlds."

"Is that an actual concern?" Neji asked. "Are you messing with us or could you have actually summoned some sort of eldritch horror monster?"

I smirked. "You should know the answer to that question by now. I'm assuming you know the way, Tenten?"

"Duh."

kukukuku~

I tried very hard not to groan. "My name is Uzumaki Tenko," our teacher for the next few years said, writing it on the chalkboard. God I hate chalkboards. If I were Hokage I'd make chalkboards illegal. "I look forward to teaching you." I slumped in my seat. It's not that I didn't like her. Tenko was really nice. No, the problem was that she knew I was a literal genius relative to my age level, and with that comes... expectations... Before, my plan was to just rest on my near-complete high school-level education to put the bare minimum amount of work into the actual academic parts of ninja school, which considering what grades I got with how little effort I put into school before would've made me best in class or thereabouts already. But Tenko already saw me put actual effort into something, meaning she might have been able to tell when I didn't put in the work. So if I didn't want to hear about it from her and Tenten both I'd have to at least half-ass it. Ugh...

I sound like Shikamaru, don't I?

"Didn't I tell you she was going to be our teacher earlier?" Tenten muttered to me. I guess that was what I missed... "And why are you so annoyed Mommy's your teacher?"

"Because she'll actually care if I don't put any effort into my work," I whispered back.

"How terrible," Neji snarked. I flicked him with natural energy. Using natural energy without sage mode may have been a lot weaker, but I could at least flick someone sitting right next to me hard enough to feel. He flicked me back, though. My Neji may have been completely seal-illiterate, but he was just as much of a ninjutsu genius as in canon, and figured out how to feel and manipulate natural energy just by watching me do it, though he hadn't quite managed sage mode yet. We proceeded to engage in invisible and incredibly petty warfare that Tenko would probably have stopped if she were a sensor. Luckily, Tenten was too amused to turn us in. She almost gave us away with her giggling, though.

"Now, why don't you introduce yourselves?" I'm not saying that I completely tuned everyone's introductions out, but I am saying that the only names that I retained aside from Hyūga Neji, Uzumaki Tenten, and Rock Lee was someone whose family name started with something in the _ka_ line and whose given name was Kaede. Kaede is a pretty awesome name. Why couldn't I have been a Kaede?

"Hello. My name is Hyūga Kouki," I said when it was my turn. "The reason why I don't look like Neji despite us having the same family name is because he's adopted."

"What!?" Neji spluttered. "No! You're the adopted one!"

"It's nice to meet you," I halfheartedly finished, pretending Neji said nothing. He flicked me for my troubles when I sat down. I flicked back, and as if someone assassinated a duke or something, Flick War II began.

kukukuku~

"Just remember that these are _friendly_ matches," Tenko said when we were all sitting on the ground by the sparring ring. "If I feel like someone is being hurt too badly, I'll stop it there. And once more, it's taijutsu only."

"Why'd you look at me when you said that?" I asked. Her glare turned a little more accusatory. I shrugged. "I wasn't gonna do it anyway..."

"Right," she said, turning away from me. "You may now look at the slips of paper I gave you. Who has one?" Tenten and a boy I should probably have known the name of raised their hands. "You two are first. And Tenten, try not to rough him up too badly, okay, sweetie?"

The unnamed kid grinned maliciously. "I hope teach doesn't get too angry after I beat up her precious daughter." Neji and I exchanged a look and snickered. Right, like that kid stood a chance. When they were told to start, the kid jumped in for a punch. Tenten dodged easily and shoved him to the side. He stumbled and fell.

"Get him with your Uzumaki strength, Tenten," I cheered dully.

She scowled at me. "For the last time!" Tenten shouted, then picked up the nearest object. Namely the unnamed kid. "I'm not!" She hoisted her hapless victim above her head. "Freakishly strong!" She threw Hapless Victim at me. Without even blinking, I deployed the demon sage cores hanging from my earlobes. One formed a springy barrier in front of me that safely absorbed the impact of the collision without too much damage to Hapless, while the other formed a barrier under him to cushion his fall.

"I have no idea why I would think that," I said as I recalled my cores. "Truly, your ability to lift over your body weight in small child despite being yourself a small child is totally unremarkable." She blushed and growled at me.

"Kouki, please stop antagonizing Tenten," Tenko said. "The match is over, Tenten wins."

"How did you do that?" another small child I probably should've known the name of asked me.

"Magic."

Hapless (I was now trying to commit his face and chakra signature to memory so I could keep calling him that) groaned and sat up. "I thought we weren't allowed to use jutsu!" he complained.

"You weren't," I said. "The Uzumaki bloodline manifests itself passively in the form of enhanced vitality and strength, something that Tenten definitely has even if she doesn't quite have the traditional looks."

"HEY!"

"So really, you didn't stand a chance." Hapless stomped off to his seat and the rounds began again. After a few, it was my turn, as well as, "coincidentally" enough, a young Rock Lee.

"Remember, no jutsu," Tenko reminded me.

"Yeah, yeah," I said, then got into my fighting stan- "Ah, crud," I muttered. I had _not_ been doing regular old sparring enough. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd actually practiced fighting someone without ninjutsu or genjutsu.

"Start."

I dodged a really shoddy punch. To be honest, it was pretty weird seeing Lee suck at taijutsu. I leaned away from another punch, then caught his arm. "Stop," I commanded. I uncurled his fist, removed his thumb from his palm, and then forced his hand into a proper fist. "It's a common mistake," I assured him. "If you punch someone with your fingers around your thumb, you'll probably break it. Oh, and hit me with those two big knuckles, not the entire fist." When I released him, he cautiously punched me. "Good," I said after catching his hand with mine. "However, I'm afraid that now I have to..." I twisted around and slung his arm over my shoulder in an attempt to suplex him or something. "Finish you!" Key word being attempt... I may or may not have only lifted him onto my back...

"I don't think you did what you were attempting to do..." he said.

"Stupid physics. I always hated that subject..." I shrugged and just dropped backwards in what I hoped looked like a planned move. I really needed to work on my taijutsu.

"Okay, that was not at all what I was expecting..." Tenko sighed. "Kouki wins, I guess..."

"You okay?" I asked as I got off Lee.

He sighed. "I am fine..."

The third noteworthy match was Neji versus a hotblooded Yamanaka girl with orange hair like that one Fū guy and red eyes. While Neji was technically a pseudo jinchuriki by now from my experiments, his powers were weird and technically even his "passive" strength would be considered an active jutsu, especially because he could turn it off. The Yamanaka, on the other hand, was surprisingly strong for a Yamanaka. Maybe she was part Uzumaki? She did have red hair. At any rate, while Neji was almost overpowered at one point, he beat her. He _was_ a genius after all.

kukukuku~

"Hey," I said, then sat down on the floor next to Lee. Okay, I actually floated just a bit off the ground, but the sentiment was there... "Sorry about beating you so bad."

He sighed. "No, it's okay... I already knew I would not do well here. I cannot use ninjutsu or genjutsu, and you saw how my taijutsu is."

"Can you channel chakra into things?" I asked. I really wanted to know what would happen if I started him off early.

"I can, but no matter how hard I try, I will not be able to use a jutsu. The doctor said that there is a problem with my chakra coils, so I am incapable of moulding my chakra into jutsu..."

I shrugged. "Not exactly a dealbreaker, if you're willing to work extra hard."

"What do you mean?"

I summoned my crystal ball. Yeah, I know it's kind of a stereotype, but I'd made the jutsu from that crystal ball jutsu Sarutobi used to see Naruto in the first episode, so blame Kishimoto. "Watch this." I waved my hands over the floating crystal ball, casting the jutsu. Despite not activating my Shōraigan, the crystal ball changed to show another location. By using a physical medium, I could show my vision to others and didn't have the same backlash, though with the downside that it wasn't private and I didn't get nearly enough information. "See that man?" I said, pointing to Gai training. "He used to be about where you are, but now he's one of the most dangerous shinobi in Konoha through taijutsu alone. Do you want to know how?" I put away the ball and looked at Lee. His eyes said yes. "An insane amount of practice, training, and diligence, combined with challenging himself to do something even more difficult whenever he fails a training exercise. You should probably take time to rest every once in a while, especially at first to keep from permanently damaging your body, but I see a fire in you. There's no reason why you couldn't become as good as or perhaps even better than him one day."

There were stars in his eyes, and he was almost crying. "Do you think so?"

I gave him a small grin. "I know so. Also..." I pulled out the other thing I had for him. "This is a bit of a beginner's fuinjutsu kit, at least my version of it. Try and see if you have some aptitude for it. You may not be able to inscribe seals with chakra alone, but if you pick up enough you could work wonders with seals." Imagine Rock Lee with the ability to make and use seals. To be honest I have no clue what would happen but I do know it would be amazing.

He stood up, energized, and gave me a deep bow. "Thank you very much! I will make sure to become a splendid ninja!"

My grin was genuine. "I'm sure you will."

kukukuku~

_Usagi_

I lurched along the dirt path. My new body of stone was not suitable for travel in the slightest, but I had no other alternatives. It seemed that compatibility with myself was not quite as common outside of Konoha as I assumed it was at first, and the rabbit was either a stroke of luck on my part or perhaps somehow related to how Kurama was present in End Valley at one point. Perhaps his chakra acted as a primer. Still, I did sense a few scattered people in small villages who had compatibility, though I couldn't in good conscience simply abduct and kill an innocent person. I needed to find a bandit with compatibility.

"Well well well, what do we have here?" a source of malicious intent jeered as two men appeared from behind trees. Speak of the devil. The two bandits, however, were nowhere near compatible.

"There's a toll to use this road," the other bandit said, brandishing his sickle. They had yet to realize my anomalous existence on account of the cloak, gloves, and mask I had fashioned for myself.

"Oh," I said. "I do apologize. I was not made aware of the toll. You really should put up a sign."

"You gettin' smart with us?" the first bandit asked. "We'll rough you up!" I probably didn't look like much of a threat either. The body I'd formed for myself was rather on the short side, to save energy. It was still definitely in the adult range, but not by much.

"You two are bandits, aren't you?" I asked. I already knew the answer, of course.

"Of course we're bandits, now give us all your loot!" The sickle-wielding bandit rushed me. That was a mistake. My body became fluid, the eyeholes of my mask gained two red lights where my eyes should have been, and I dodged effortlessly. I removed one of my gloves, then placed my hand on his face.

"Do you take chakra instead?" I asked, then infused his body with demon sage chakra. He dropped his weapon as his brain itself was altered in such a way that, while he didn't technically die, he certainly couldn't have been said to have been truly alive anymore. I removed my hand, revealing red markings across his face.

"What the hell!?" the other bandit shrieked. Without turning to him, I sent a signal to my new thrall. The bandit that I had just "killed" snarled like a beast and rushed at him. The... I suppose the best word for it would have been "zombie" bit the man on his arm with partially crystallized teeth. The man shrieked, throwing the zombie away and running in terror. I nodded to myself and split my attention in two, one half of my mind focusing on breaking the zombie down into more demon sage cores and the other tending to the bandit. When my zombie bit him, it infected him with my chakra, causing the cells in his arm to start to transform into the demon sage core-like material that I'd used to zombify his partner. I altered the rate at which the infection spread, causing it to slow near the surface while speeding up within his blood and bones. My hope was that he'd notice the infection, cut his arm off and assume he got it all, then hurry back to his leader while carrying the infection. That would be fun. When I was done with the carrier, I turned my full attention to the zombie, which was almost prepared. With a final command, the corpse disintegrated into red powder. Some of it scattered to the wind, where it would be carried elsewhere. The rest came to me. About half of it went behind my mask, where it bolstered my existing core. The other half I formed into another core that I hid within my cloak. With that done, I placed all of his belongings into a bag I had tied to my makeshift body under the cloak. I wasn't to know fuinjutsu, after all. I continued down the lonely road, ever-so-slightly quicker than I had before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just FYI, the ka line is any of the hiragana/katakana sounds that start with a k- noise (ka, ki, ku, ke, ko).
> 
> I thought of a power for Tenten to have, but it's kind of even more out there than usual. Like, technically it has a slight basis in canon, but exaggerated far beyond what that canon basis is, even more than what I have planned for and alluded to with Neji. Figured I'd say that cryptically now so I can tell if I need to make changes if too many people object. I think it's cool, though, so I'm probably going to do it unless literally everyone tells me not to. And possibly even not then.


	15. Chapter 15

_Usagi_

"I'm tellin' ya, boss, it was some kinda monster," the now one-armed bandit explained to his leader as another bandit bandaged his bleeding stump. "It did... _something_ to Koji, and he turned into some sorta zombie."

"And did either of those monsters rip off your arm?" the red-haired woman asked impassively. Ah yes, she would do nicely. Her body was compatible enough with my power that I wouldn't have to worry about replacing it for a while and she appeared to be an awful human being, so I wouldn't have any guilt from ending her life. Despite her looks she was definitely not an Uzumaki, so I had no reason to worry about that, either. I was currently in the process of extending a light telepathic touch into all the minds present, sorting through their memories to find a way to possess her, as well as stealing what procedural memories of theirs that I found useful.

He shook his head, a fearful look in his eye. Perhaps I was a bit too harsh on him... "No, Koji bit me. I ran, and..." He shuddered. "My arm... it went numb, and the same weird markings that appeared where the... _thing_... touched Koji started to appear on my arm. I... I didn't risk it."

"Wise," the bandit leader said. He smiled weakly at her.

An then one of her knives was buried in his gut. "_Don't take any risks_," she murmured into his ear as he breathed his last. That poor, sweet fool. Well, not sweet. If there was any word that could describe her less, I had yet to find it from my delving into her or her subordinates' minds. My point, though, is that a zombie is much harder to kill than a normal man. The red markings sprouted from his good arm, and with inhuman speed the freshly-made monster sank its new claws into the man who was bandaging it just moments ago. The woman snarled as the markings spread across both zombies. She managed to decapitate the original, but my second zombie evaded her blade and shambled toward another bandit, which it bit. I let a few of the bandits survive, but my small-scale zombie apocalypse led to the deaths of most of the scofflaws.

The leader of what was now considerably fewer bandits slammed her fist on the wall in rage as she surveyed the corpses left behind. "Damn," she growled as they dissolved into red dust. "At least they won't be coming back..."

"You _do_ care, boss!" one of the survivors cheered.

"I don't care one bit about you idiots and if I hadn't just lost most of my men I'd have killed you for that moronic comment," she said coldly. She meant it, too. "We need to recruit, and that means we need more money. Secure the base, we can't leave anyone on guard." If I had a mouth, I'd have smiled. I needed the practice, after all. Their hideout was an abandoned mine, secluded and buried in a mountain. Not to mention the gold stored within, even if I would want to give some back to the villages they were stealing from. And they were leaving it for me. How thoughtful.

kukukuku~

"Are you sure you want to do that?" Neji asked me.

I shrugged and licked my lips. "Not gonna get any better at fighting by going easy," I said.

"Yeah, but you pretty much _need_ your powers to take me down if I activate Furnace." Neji's pseudo-jinchuriki power. We started calling it Furnace because with how unique it was it pretty much deserved a unique name. Technically, his red chakra reserves were abysmal. However, we found out that whenever he exerted himself he could activate it to essentially let himself generate more, though he'd only keep it for so long when not exerting himself.

End result, his power steadily grew the longer he fought. He also gained power each time he hit or was hit. It had a few limitations and placed strain on his body the more he used it, but as far as I knew he could theoretically fight a bijū if he built up enough, maybe even Kaguya. That'd probably kill him, though...

"And how else am I supposed to change that?" I asked. I got into my stance. "Let's do this before I change my mind."

His eyes turned red, with a white slit pupil because of his Byakugan. "Your funeral..."

_A few moments later..._

"Owwwww," I groaned. "My... pride..."

"I didn't even get warmed up at all," Neji smugly remarked from where he was sitting on my spine, pinning me. I didn't ask him to get up because I was sucking off the last dregs of his red chakra. For whatever reason I couldn't assimilate Furnace, but I could still steal Neji's red chakra to heal myself and stuff.

"You okay, dude?" I asked.

"As I said, I barely got warmed up. My body is fine." After he activated Furnace for the first time, he'd ended up bedridden for an hour because of the strain it put on his body. When he started to test it, he pretended he was fine even though he kept using it past his limits. He ended up too sick to stand for weeks. It was actually around that time that he managed to figure out natural energy manipulation, probably because he was stuck in bed and bored out of his mind for so long. "I probably should let myself cool down for a bit, but I'm assuming you'll want to fight me without Furnace anyways."

I snorted. "Jerk. And here I was worried about you."

He got up. He had an amused smile. "Let's go another round, then."

kukukuku~

"I'm sore," I complained as we walked through the halls.

"You hit me a few times," Neji dismissed.

"You hit me more..."

"And whose fault was that?" I rolled my eyes and lightly punched him on the shoulder. He sage-flicked me. I was about to retort, but I felt a familiar signature when I opened up my senses, so...

"Is that Ino?" I asked, jerking my head in the direction of the compound's main entrance. I knew this was going to happen for a while. I'd been keeping tabs on her in a totally not creepy way because if it. I was also keeping tabs on Sakura, but that was more to see what the effects of that strange power were on her body. She accidentally ripped a door off its hinges more than once, which would've been pretty hilarious if it weren't for the angst it was giving her...

"That feels like her. I wonder why she's here." He used his Byakugan for a moment. I pulled out a compact mirror I'd made to be compatible with my scrying jutsu and looked at her as well. "Does she have a flower?" She was walking up to the door with a flower in her hand, yes.

I sighed. "I'm not good with flowers, but I'm pretty sure that's a forget-me-not. Pretty sure she's here for me, I'll go deal with her."

Neji insisted on hiding in the background while I greeted Ino, because she wasn't exactly subtle about her childish crush. I really hoped I wouldn't lose her as a friend, though... Just in case, I used my power to try to find the best path forward. I really hoped my life wouldn't become some sort of anti-dating simulator...

I opened the door. "Ino. Why are you here and holding a flower that symbolizes true love?" I'd learned some hanakotoba from her, but to be honest I just knew it from looking ahead in the script.

She smiled and held it out to me. "I came to confess my true love to you, Kouki."

I took a deep breath, trying very, very hard not to sigh. "Ino, no offense, I love you like a friend, but we are both four years old and you have no idea what true love is."

That confused her. "But... you saved me?"

Why do romance stories have to be so romanticized? Don't... don't answer that... "I'm your friend. Of course I saved you. But I don't love you like that and you don't love me like that because as I just said, we're both children."

She lowered the flower. This was a little harsh, but she needed to hear it. "Oh. Yeah. I guess I look stupid to you now, huh?"

I shrugged. "To be fair, you have a level of wisdom appropriate to our age. It just so happens that being wise as a four-year-old is an outlier."

"What?"

"You're a kid. You're allowed to be stupid."

She thought about that for a moment. "So... you're not mad at me or anything?"

"You're my friend. Of course not." I smiled. It probably wasn't the best smile, but at least Ino didn't run in terror... "Hey, if you want, I can show you a really cool jutsu."

She nodded. "Sure!" As I walked past, I gave Neji a smug grin when I saw his jaw on the floor. I'm sure he was expecting some kind of awkwardness.

To be fair, so was I.

kukukuku~

_Chikage_

Sarutobi Hiruzen sighed as he returned to his room after a long day of paperwork. Even with a shadow clone, it was just _so slow_. Seriously, I was so bored, and I was just watching over his shoulder! I can't even imagine having to _do_ paperwork... He closed the door, locking it. "You're here, aren't you, Kouki?" Half right. Eh, I'll give it to him.

His shadow moved to be in front of him. "_How perceptive of you,_" my voice seemed to come from the shadow. I couldn't exactly speak when my body was literally flat against the wall, but I could very much trick people's brains into thinking I could. My arm peeled off of the floor, keeping its pitch coloration. I raised my other arm, then used them to "pull" myself off of the floor, still in the form of a shadowy Hokage. I did a few stretches. "Man, staying in one shadow for hours _kills_ my back, apparently. I don't even know how that works, considering the fact that I don't even have a form as a shadow..." I changed back to my humanoid form and licked my lips.

"I know that Kouki is responsible in some way, but what _are_ you?" he asked me.

"Rude," I said, faux-offended. "You don't hear me asking you humans what you are. Though to be fair I already know."

He frowned. "You're like Kouki, but not quite. Who are you, then?"

"Did I really never tell you about me?" I paused and thought for a moment. "Or would it be better to ask if we never told you about me... I'm still not sure how pronouns work with our unique situation..."

"What, exactly, is the answer to my question?"

I shrugged. "I'm Kouki and Kouki is me. We're two halves of the same whole, at the moment."

"What are you..." He frowned and closed his eyes. "Red chakra?" he said when he opened them.

I nodded. "I've been purified of almost all of my humanity, the same as how Kouki's removed most of the red chakra from himself. He's weaker, I'm stronger, and because we're two separate entities we have independent thoughts and can be in two places at once, as you can tell. And we can recombine at any time." I sat down in midair. "Call me Chikage."

"I suppose that that makes sense... That sounds like a useful jutsu. Though why are you a girl?"

I examined my blackened claws. "Why not?"

"And I suppose that's also why you're wearing a frilly dress?"

"It's called gothic lolita, and the best thing about being made of chakra is the fact that I can more or less freely shapeshift. Now, sit down." I gestured behind him, where I'd pulled up a chair without him noticing. I also made an illusion that made both his chair and the air I was sitting on look like identical, ornate seats. "We have business to attend to."

"The Uchiha massacre, I assume?" I nodded. A table with a deck of fancy-looking cards "appeared" in between us. I really love genjutsu.

"In one year today Itachi will be forced to kill his entire clan, with the exception of his brother." I picked up the top card from the deck and flipped it over. The Tower. "And obviously we would prefer this not to happen." I reversed the position of the Tower. "But of course, there is a problem." I flipped over the next card, Judgement.

He sighed. It seemed he got my message. "The public is being turned turned against the Uchiha, which is in turn turning the Uchiha against the public. Until we stop that all we can do is delay the massacre..." I revealed the third card, The Devil, with Danzō as its subject. "Yes. Even though we haven't tipped our hands yet and he hopefully doesn't suspect us, Danzō is still fighting us."

"There are two paths that you can take to deal with him." I reversed the position of the Devil, causing the illustration's face to soften. "First, you could make him see the light, show him how much he's tearing the village apart to 'protect' it. Maybe you can do it because you used to be friends or something, but to be honest I doubt it, which leaves the second option." A black flame sparked from my finger, setting the Devil card ablaze. It disappeared without a trace. "Either way, he needs to be neutralized. I take it he's good at covering his tracks, considering the fact that he's made an attempt on your life without retaliation?"

"Of course. And I take it he'd use it as evidence of my 'senility' if I attempted to pin him on it without enough evidence?"

"My eyes don't show it, meaning there's no possibility of us attempting it. Probably, though." I cocked my head. "If I were to, I don't know, figure out a way to take other objects with me when I shadow travel and use that to steal all kinds of incriminating evidence, would that work?"

He nodded. "That would work. I'll proceed assuming you don't, with how that was a hypothetical, though."

I sighed. "Yeah, that's about right. If we fail, though, I have one last idea." I revealed The Hanged Man, reversed, with Uchiha Shisui modeling for mister four-legs. "If we stop Danzō's attack on Shisui, then he can use Kotoamatsukami on the Uchiha. It's not ideal, but it's a contingency."

"Yes, that sounds good. Unless there's anything else, you may leave." I faded into the shadows, taking my illusions with me.

kukukuku~

_Usagi_

"Alright everyone!" one of the bandits shouted. "You know the drill by now, your money is ours! Give it up easily and we won't kill you!" The townspeople were afraid, but they'd clearly been through this before.

"Will you really?" I asked. "You may find some trouble with that."

"Who are you?" the leader asked me.

"You would already know," I said as I strolled across the road to her, "had you not murdered my puppet."

"Ah, so you're the monster he talked about." She sneered at me and drew her daggers. "You killed my men."

"I did nothing of the sort," I retaliated. "I _mutated_ them, controlled them. You were the ones who killed them."

"All the same, you'll die."

"To be honest I am not entirely sure I _can_ die." I slowly removed my gloves from my hands and placed them in the bag under my cloak.

"I'll test it for you, then."

"You may be able to destroy this body, but my essence has already soaked your hideout. I believe I should be able to resurrect myself, as it were."

She smiled a sadistic smile. "I'm fine killing you over and over again until it _sticks_." She lunged at me, daggers flashing. I yanked back my sleeve and used my bare arm to block. I wasn't going to be needing my arm much longer, but I wanted to preserve the cloak. Her daggers sank into the stone of my arm, as I had made it softer. I wanted the knives as well. I capitalized on the bandit leader's momentary confusion to take off my mask and jam it onto her face. The last thing she saw before her life ended was a glowing red pearl on the backside of the mask.

I retrieved my new knives from my old arm, then took my cloak for my new body. Luckily, my new body wasn't too much larger than my old one, so the cloak still fit well enough. Along with the cloak, I'd palmed the other demon pearl (a pearl-shaped demon sage core) from my old body, causing it to crumble back into dirt within moments of me putting the cloak back on. I took my bag from the dirt and shook it off.

"Boss?" one of the bandits asked. "You okay?"

I slowly reached up to my mask and grasped the bottom. It cracked at the mouth such that the entire bottom was smoothly removed. I stored the bottom back in my bag, though, just in case I should come to need it. With my new mouth and the bottom of my nose uncovered, I took a deep breath, as if my first in a century. "No, I do not believe she is," I said. "For one, her mind and soul have been wiped from this body."

"_What the hell even are you_!?"

"To be perfectly honest I'm not quite sure. I do know one thing, though." With an organic body, I no longer had problems with agility. And in particular, this new body was trained for rapid movement. As such, the two bandits nearest me were bisected in a flash with red-glowing knives, as if through butter. Their bodies dissolved into the same red dust that the other bandits' corpses had. "You are dead. Now, are the rest of you willing to fight, or will you run in terror?" They ran in terror.

"Who are you?" a villager cautiously asked me a few minutes after I sheathed my knives. The villagers were understandably quite afraid of me.

"My name is Usagi." With the bandits gone, I'd switched to a small, personable smile. "If you wait, I should be able to bring you the money those bandits took from you."

"Thank you."


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a timeskippy chapter because there's like a year gap between important events. And I also ended up having a lot of fun with the secret base.

"So," I said, sitting atop a sealed stone arch, "how does it look?" I took a bite from my chocolate bar.

"It looks really complicated," Naruto said, squinting. I smiled, though. It looked like he was at least following it somewhat, which was good.

"**You really fucking want a space-time ninjutsu, don't you?**" Kurama noted.

I huffed. "_Excuse you._ I'm _sitting_ on a space-time ninjutsu. I want to know if it's a _functional_ space-time ninjutsu." I looked at Ai and Tenten expectantly. "Well?"

Ai shrugged. "As far as I can tell, it'll work. You might want to check with your eyes first, though."

I nodded and pulled down my sunglasses. I saw only a few seconds into the future, so the drain was relatively minor; I lost maybe thirty minutes off my day at most. "Right, looks good. Wanna see it?"

"Don't you need to make a second one first?" Tenten asked me.

I grinned lightly. "Well of course I made another one already. I'm like a celebrity chef that way. Keep your arms and legs away from the portal until it's fully formed, unless you want to lose them." I took another bite from my chocolate and swung my legs up away from the portal and sent a command to the two demon sage cores embedded in each arch. I didn't see the safety illusion or portal form from my vantage point, but I did notice the shadow fall over Ai, Tenten, Naruto, and Kurama from how the sunlight was now somewhere miles away. I swung my legs back down once it was safe, using the momentum to swing myself through the portal and, with an application of chakra threads, onto the wall that was where I was sitting on the other side. It was pretty surreal, to be honest. Cool, though.

"Come on in, the water's fine!" I shouted from literal miles away. Or I guess I should maybe use kilometers...

"Why is it so dark?" Tenten asked.

I dropped to the ground. "It's a me-made cave. Wanna see?" I snapped my fingers and activated the light seal I'd placed above the arch.

"It's pretty empty," Naruto muttered. There was in fact literally nothing in the cave, except for a few strategically-placed holes for better air flow and pillars that hopefully would prevent cave-ins.

I shrugged and made a sort of picture frame with my hands, looking at the cave. "You try remotely making an artificial cave in a mountain several kilometers away. Now that I can physically go here I'll hopefully be able to refurbish this place better. Just gotta find a good place to put the gateway arch."

"How did you even find this place?" Ai asked.

"Remote-controlled body killed some bandits. Well, not remote-controlled but certainly not physically me. On the other side of the portal is an abandoned mine they were using as a hideout. It's secluded enough that nobody's gonna find it, hopefully. And once my base is more set up I'll just hide the front entrance." I walked back through the portal, then closed it behind me. I lifted my palm, and the core I was using in the keystone of the arch flew into it. The arch collapsed back into the earth. "I think maybe I'll use my closet for the gate, actually."

kukukuku~

Despite the absolute hell of boredom school was, the next few months passed by surprisingly fast. And even school wasn't really all that bad because I could telepathically communicate with Neji, Tenten, Kurama, Hinata through Kurama, Usagi, Gaara, and Karura. And even if they were all somehow busy, I could split myself without actually manifesting physically as Chikage and talk to myself without being crazy! Well, crazi_er_...

Speaking of Chikage, we unfortunately couldn't figure out a way for her to physically take objects. There were a few ideas that almost came close, namely inscribing seals on her body to allow her to summon a sack or just seal stuff away in her, and then the simple idea of grabbing something from the shadows and trying to move it around, but unfortunately didn't cut it. The sack theoretically worked fine, but as it turns out, summoning makes a lot of chakra "noise" that a well-trained sensor can easily detect, and Danzō took full advantage of that fact. Storage was fine on the detection front, but Chikage had trouble melting into shadows with a physical object stored in her. She could still do it, but the part of her that had the object in it was always completely black and went either very slow outside of a shadow or kinda slow inside a shadow, especially compared to her usual near-light speed. Because we'd only have one shot, we were holding off on using it... And just grabbing stuff from the shadows was even worse, because it was exactly like sealing in terms of results except the object was outside of the shadow.

Moving on to brighter news, I used building the base to train my power. I wasn't two-tailed yet, but I was approaching Shukaku in terms of red chakra already. I also trained up my control of all the elements I had some kind of affinity for, letting me use more and even use two at a time. And yes, I remembered to practice taijutsu this time, meaning I could kick people kinda well. Even more fun, though, is the fact that I inspired other people to do some training. Namely, my friends. Except Kurama who, as he was locked in a small child, was naturally excused. Ino, Shikamaru, and Tenten joined the ranks of budding sagehood. Neji could manage a weak sage mode after a minute or so, and he managed to build up to first tail cloak without getting too bad of a fever. Naruto actually knew jutsu now. At least one of each type! With how I was giving Kurama back his yin chakra, Naruta was unknowingly getting better at using genjutsu, at least a bit. Hinata had gained some confidence and could control an entire one person's body and chakra, going so far as to somehow being able to make people use the jutsu that they knew, despite not knowing them herself. I guess there's some kind of chakra memory? That's probably what Sasori used with his puppets, actually. And Sakura... well technically she didn't do to much training, but she was super strong and I helped her learn how to not break things? I guess that counts as training...

Next topic, the secret base was awesome! It took me months to actually dig out all the rooms and stuff, then another month or so to find or make all the furniture and decorate it, but _secret base_! I also took to trying to do engineering after finding some broken up electronics. I probably wasn't the best at it, but with magnet release and Chikage's ability to possess objects essentially letting me scan things, I could do all kinds of cheating. So yeah, I modded a generator to be able to power it solely with magnet release, which was pretty simple, actually. Then, when I was finally able to fix up the minifridge I'd found, I got some snacks in my base. Well, I already had a pantry but I was able to have more stuff. I was hoping to actually make original stuff, though. Like maybe a magnet release-powered railgun. That would be fun. Or actually, if I could somehow make myself a 3-D printer or something like that knowing generally how that stuff works, that would also be useful. I didn't know what to do about plastic, but I at least knew how those things that you use to sand down stuff like metal or wood into particular shapes worked. Long-term goal, though...

In addition to the portal room, my base had some neat features. There was a sort of living room, which was where I put the snacks and some books. I was also trying to figure out how to hook up a TV in there, but that was probably a losing battle... There was also a theater that I was hoping I'd be able to use at some point, though I had yet to find any projector, much less one that was either usable or easy for me to repair. I mean I guess I could just genjutsu up visuals, but where's the fun in that? Okay nevermind that actually sounds really fun. I had my scrying room, which was just a fancy room I'd made with a really big crystal ball and some other stuff I could use for scrying. I made sure that that room in particular was visually impressive.

For the actually practical stuff, I had a mechanical workshop for mechanical projects, a fuinjutsu workshop near it for fuinjutsu projects, a poison/medical room for take a wild guess, and a gigantic storage room for materials. The mechanical workshop was really only just a table with scrap metal and reference books on it so far, but I was hopeful! The fuinjutsu room looked a little more impressive. It had shelves of scrolls on the walls, and a desk with a buttload of ink bottles on it. I ended up doing a lot of work there, because it turned out I could sell a bunch of basic paper bombs for a lot of money through my dad. Don't you just _love_ it when your dad helps you sell a whole demolition team's worth of real-ass bombs? And then the storage room was just for storing the rest of the junk I had, plus the ores and stuff I managed to find and promised myself to mess around with someday.

The poison/medical room... was a work in progress. I mean, I kinda had some of the poison stuff going. The half of the room I had for poison was well-ventilated and separated from the other half with a glass barrier. Turns out Chikage just... had sand powers because I ate enough Shukaku. I knew I had magnet release, but I didn't actually expect that I'd have been able to generate pure silica sand. Seriously, how does earth jutsu work? And my scrying room was useful for figuring out exactly what to do with that to make nice, clear glass from that. Turns out you have to get sand surprisingly hot to make glass, but I made do by using a demon sage core for some extra chakra. I also used my glass magic to make all that mad sciencey glass paraphernalia you always see in mad science labs, using an Orochimaru base I could scry for reference.

Side note: I also ended up selling glass figurines and stuff because wouldn't you know it, the ability to make high-quality glass through supernatural powers makes for really pricey glass stuff, especially after I figured out how to alter the sand slightly to make colored glass. Seriously, that dragon was just... I was almost tempted to keep it because it was so beautiful, but I made _so much_ from it. And then I realized I could make _more_. My base became so awesome a week or so of no sleep after that. I also jammed a bunch of glass in a scroll, because first off having a scroll that launches shards of glass at whoever you point it at like a literal glass cannon is a pretty good weapon and second off having shards of glass you can control with your mind with you at all times is a pretty good weapon.

Where was I? Oh, right. Deadly poison. I managed to work out a recipe for a decently good and fast-acting death poison with some help from Anko using the flora of the mountain range. It was a strangely convenient mountain range for poisoning. What a coincidence. I also made a bit of a garden for the ingredients that I could take from so I didn't have to go searching for more ingredients. I put that stuff in some Skyrim-looking potion bottles (made from glass, of course) so that I could just take a few of with me. I was hoping to use those with senbon for some sneaky kills. I also ingested tiiiiiiiiny amounts of the stuff (At large enough gaps, of course. I'm a mad scientist in training, not an idiot.) to try and build up my poison resistance, at least to my own stock. As for the medical side, well... I had a first aid kit and a few cruddy stone beds with stabilizing seals and chakra reservoirs attached to demon sage cores that would hopefully do more good than harm to anyone placed on the beds. I'm not Tsunade, that's good enough for me. The scalpels I put in there were really more for show and using my ferrokinetic powers on in the case of a home intruder. Seriously, why is Shukaku actually the most overpowered bijū aside from the Jūbi? Not that I'm complaining, of course.

I also had a bit of an exercise room made. Really, it was mostly just a track for jogging, a bunch of rocks with various weights to pick up and throw around, and a rock wall. And I found a secluded forest clearing far enough away from my base that I could hopefully use it to test bombs without worrying about the shockwaves damaging my base, at least if I kept them small enough. And it looked like it would be a pretty good training ground. I mean, I had another idea for the bomb range and training ground, but that'd do for now. I didn't exactly have enough demon sage cores to float a giant platform yet...

And of course, I wasn't the only one there. I mean, technically I was, but turns out Usagi can split themselves pretty much infinitely, so long as there are enough demon sage cores. I mean, there was still an "original" Usagi that was still carrying out their original mission and was more intelligent than the copies, but Usagi's intelligence had ended up filling all the demon sage cores that I wasn't directly using, making a bunch of hive-minded servants made of rock for me that populated my base. We were originally almost the same personality-wise, but it seemed like Usagi grew slightly... off from me. For one, the politeness wasn't an act anymore. To be honest, that was kind of disturbing, especially coupled with how I was ordering around these versions of me who were disturbingly polite. Still, they were useful because, as I said, a bunch of hive-minded servants. They fetched stuff for me.

kukukuku~

I admired a glass "gem" Chikage had just made. "Do we even need a 3-D printer?" I asked, tossing it up lightly. "This is some dang good glass, not to mention the fact that we can control it. Sure, we may want to also work on metal, but that shouldn't be too much of a step up from metal when we get more power, though we probably can't just conjure up more iron."

She stopped fiddling with the guitar she'd made from her chakra body. "Sounds legit," she agreed, then started making sounds like a cat coughing up a hairball. Her throat glowed and she spat up a ball of molten glass. "I _am_ the 3-D printer." I still had no idea how magnet release could be used to control molten glass, but to be fair it could be used on regular sand, which isn't magnetic in the slightest.

"Hey, I have an idea," I said as I watched her mold the glass into the rough shape of a kunai, then let it start cooling so we could clean it up later. Glass blades, though a little fragile, are super sharp if you do 'em right. "You up for another blade?"

"Hit me with it." I sent my idea to her telepathically. What, you thought I was just going to tell you? She grinned and spat out another glob. I thought for a moment about how spitting molten glass would probably be a pretty good ninjutsu by itself, though that was a thought for later. Chikage waved her hands over the glob of molten glass, elongating it. The blade was longer than a kunai, but much thinner. It was intentionally weak, though not enough to fail to stab through someone. The blade didn't have a handle yet, that'd come later... "Let's hope this idea actually works, 'cause we're basically grasping at straws here."

kukukuku~

_Chikage_

Uchiha Shisui paused on his walk home. He surveyed the dark street and placed a hand on his blade. Something was following him. He noticed something in the shadows, and activated his Sharingan. "Who's there?" he asked. He saw an outline in the shadows.

"**_Uchiha Shisui,_**" the shadow said. I bet you can tell by now just who that shadow is. "**_Your life is in danger._**"

He raised an eyebrow. "And I'm supposed to trust the shadow demon that's stalking me?"

I pushed a dagger out of my shadow, hilt first. "**_This is for you._**" I slowly moved toward him until he cautiously grabbed it.

"The blade is made of glass. What use is a glass dagger?"

"**_The Thorn of Spite. It was made to kill one man who is better off dead, and is sufficient for that purpose._**" The first of the enchantments I'd sealed onto the dagger activated, transcribing a storage seal onto his skin. The dagger automatically entered, and the seal hid itself. "_**It will show itself in the event your eyes fail you. You will know who you must kill then.**_" Unencumbered of the dagger, I was able to move far away in an instant.

And then I came back. "_**Just to be clear, the dagger isn't for suicide.**_"

He snorted. "Yeah, I figured." I disappeared again. He stared at his palm. "The hell was that?"


	17. Chapter 17

Neji said something. I don't know what, I wasn't really paying attention. Yeah, yeah. I know, I should pay attention to whatever it was my cousin-slash-brother said, but I was preoccupied. In five days, Hanabi would be born, and probably also Neji's sibling that I had yet to know the name of because they weren't in canon on account of a uncle Hizashi's death. It was something that I should've been excited about, but... How do you tell your adopted cousin that his aunt, and possibly also his mother, has a really high chance of dying in a week or so? How do you tell your adopted father his wife will die? Your uncle? It was a lot easier telling Dad his brother would have died if I hadn't intervened because, well, he hadn't and I'd been all hopped up on righteous indignation at the time.

But there really wasn't anyone to blame this time. I mean, Hanabi and (insert whatever aunt Hikaru and uncle Hizashi were about to name their kid here) didn't _ask_ to be born, and nobody really knew that Mom wasn't really able to withstand the stress of labor a second time until I decided to check what, exactly, killed her. But yeah. Turns out that Mom had some kind of issue with her heart that was just minor enough that nobody ever noticed anything wrong, but still serious enough that at her age, a second child was kinda dangerous. And it was genetic. And aunt Hikaru was an exact genetic duplicate of Mom, as most identical twins are. You can see why I might be a little worried here, right?

So yeah. I mean, I probably should've told someone about said heart defects instead of simply passive-aggressively hinting about it, but I was kinda... scared to talk about it? Soooo instead I silently checked through all the possible forms of making sure someone doesn't die that I had available to me. Sage-enriched red chakra is pretty freaking good for the heart, especially when you throw in a temporary copy of the Uzumaki bloodline's vitality. So now that it was a week or so away from Hanabi's birth, Chikage was off grinding her power enough that she'd be able to cover both at once. She could split herself in two, but at the cost of both copies having half the strength of the original. So both Chikages were training at once to raise their capacity and power in our secret base. Well, two Chikages with most of the power were training, and then a much lesser Chikage clone who was rocking out in preparation for YET ANOTHER upcoming deadline, this time the Uchiha incident. Well, just before the Uchiha incident. We all agreed that one of our favorite songs would be very apropos in the event that we had to confront Danzō, and she was trying to figure it out because I never actually played it before. I liked it a lot, though, so I knew it by heart.

Okay, maybe there were better uses of our time, but with the power level of that specific clone, making and then playing the guitar was a surprisingly good form of training.

Neji hit me lightly to get my attention, bringing me back to the present. "Were you paying attention?"

"Muh..." I muttered. "Not really."

He sighed. "I asked if you wanted to spar? You looked worried about something, so I figured I'd take your mind off of it."

I shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

kukukuku~

I nervously bounced my leg. Today was the day. My sister and cousin were going to be born within the hour and I wasn't entirely sure Mom and aunt Hikaru would be alright. Yes I could see the future, but my own actions, and consequently Chikage's, were what changed the outcomes I saw, meaning that until Chikage pulled it off and it wasn't the _future_ anymore but actually set in stone, I could see both the future where they survived and the future where they didn't, meaning either outcome could happen.

After a while of tense waiting with my family in the hospital, I felt a burst of information. One of the two Chikages just depleted herself, and like a shadow clone that meant her memories returned to me. A few moments later, the other other me died as well. With its fate no longer in my hands, the future I wanted to see wouldn't branch out, and... success! I closed my eyes and breathed out a sigh of relief. Two healthy baby girls, born to two nearly-identical sets of parents. I practically melted in my chair, the tension I'd been feeling for weeks suddenly draining away. "Fate averted," I sighed, then yawned. When was the last time I slept? "Hey Neji..." I murmured, my eyes heavy. "Wake me up when..." I closed my eyes and let sleep take me.

kukukuku~

Someone was shaking me. "Kouki!" Neji shouted.

"Mmmh." I rubbed my eyes. "Why are you yelling?" I muttered.

"I've been trying to wake you up for ten minutes!"

I licked my lips. "What do you need me for?"

"Did you forget about how _our sisters_ were just born!?"

I nodded blearily. Then I remembered three separate sets of memories of agonizing over the impending doom of loved ones. _"Oh."_

"Yeah. Uncle Hiashi told me to wake you up." It looked like he didn't notice the trauma. To be fair, I was pretty drowsy. He offered me his hand and pulled me up. I swayed on my feet a bit. "Are you okay?"

"I... haven't slept in... I dunno, probably a week?"

Neji sighed. "You're sleeping when we get back home."

"'Kay..." Neji dragged me by the hand to the right room. It looked like Mom and aunt Hikaru were in the same room. How coincidental. Neji led me to my mom. Or at least, I think she was my mom. Normally I was a bit better about that, but I was so tired that I was having issues sensing the difference between my mom's and aunt's chakra signatures. Really, having an aunt and uncle who are both almost identical to my parents is really annoying sometimes.

"Kouki," she said, smiling. I grinned back at her and looked at the bundle of cloth in her arms. "Do you want to hold your sister?" She handed her to me. I looked at the baby in the bundle as a sense of calm washed over me. To be honest she didn't look like much, as is the case with all newborns, but she was my sister! "Her name is Hanabi." She gurgled at me, and I gave her a small grin as I placed her back in Mom's arms.

"Do you want to see your cousin?" aunt Hikaru asked me. I calmly walked over to her and accepted the proffered child. She looked exactly like Hanabi, though to be fair that wasn't saying much at the moment. "Her name is Hanako." I snorted. That was probably planned. Hanako grabbed my finger, and something hit me. Hanako was an original character. Her parents were dead in canon, and the only reason they weren't in our... timeline(?) was that I showed up one day and sliced a guy's leg off. And just now, my aunt's life was almost traded for hers, had I not... taken it upon myself to stop her death while shying away from the simple option of telling my family about the impending doom. I really need to work on my social skills...

My eyes blurred, and I sniffed. I'd almost lost my mom. Again. I'd almost lost my aunt. Why couldn't I say anything? I quickly handed Hanako back to aunt Hikaru as the tears started streaming down my face. "Kouki?" she asked. I sobbed and bit my lip.

"Kouki, are you okay?" my dad asked me. I shook my head. "Do you want to talk about it?" I shook my head.

After a few moments of sitting down and breathing deeply, I managed to calm down enough to talk. "I'm fine now..." I muttered. "Need to sleep though. Got a headache."

"Fine, but we will talk about this later." I nodded.

kukukuku~

I'm sure you guys would prefer not to hear about how I told my dad talked to me about that whole debacle. Suffice to say, though, there was some crying and on my part and a few stern and then reassuring words on his.

On a completely unrelated note, Hanabi and Hanako were born like a few days before the first day of our second year of school. Yaaaaaaaay.

"I don't wanna go to school!" Naruto griped. He and Tenten met up with Hinata, Neji, and I while we were walking to school.

"Too bad!" Tenten, who was carrying him like a sack of potatoes, shouted.

"I'm sure it won't be too bad, Naruto-kun," Hinata offered. "If you want, you can... sit next to me?" Naruto was still squirming around in Tenten's grasp and it didn't look like he noticed her.

I heard a laugh. "Is Naruto being difficult?" Ino asked. She and Sakura walked up to us. "Isn't he heavy, Tenten?"

Tenten blushed. "I'm-" she shouted, then sighed. "I can hold him."

Ino shrugged. "Suit yourself. I'm pretty someone else here can carry him if you need a break, though. Not me, but..."

"I-Ino..." Sakura muttered.

"I was thinking more like Neji or Kouki, Sakura-chan," Ino assured her.

"I can carry him!" Tenten shouted.

We chatted all the way to school.

kukukuku~

_Chikage_

I decided to shadow Hinata's class for the first few days, I guess mostly out of boredom and curiosity than anything else. Naruto was a lot of fun to watch simply from being an idiot, plus this timeline Iruka got to yell at Naruto because his mom was a teacher. It didn't help, but it was funny.

The only really interesting event was, once again, the sparring matches. To be honest, I was a little excited to see how this would go. In canon, Sasuke wrecked Naruto. But now, Naruto was the son of not only a ninja schoolteacher but also a special jōnin, both of whom taught him some of what they knew. And then I made him train a bit. So odds were Naruto would at least give Sasuke a run for his money. "Start!" Iruka commanded. Naruto charged at Sasuke almost immediately, but instead of getting immediately knocked over he caught Sasuke with a feint. Then he punched him in the face. Naruto did eventually lose, but Sasuke looked genuinely worried about Naruto's ability to fight at points. After the match, Sasuke begrudgingly acknowledged the fact that Naruto was a bit of a tough opponent instead of just being a little jerk.

Next up on the list of noteworthy fights, Hinata versus some kid. Some kid got beat up rather easily, which made me proud. Next, Sakura versus Kiba. I shifted my position a bit to get a better view, a smirk on my nonexistent face.

Kiba grinned and cracked his knuckles. "Sorry, Sakura, but it looks like you're doomed." Sakura whimpered, but clenched her fists. Kiba shrugged. "It's not your fault, of course. It's not like a girl like you could beat up me. Tell you what, I'll give you the first shot." He just stood there with a stupid grin on his face.

Sakura hesitated for a moment and took a deep breath. Then, with a determined look on her face, she cocked back her fist, shouted _"Shannarō!"_ and punched him in the gut with about one fourth of her full strength. Kiba was sent flying.

"I... guess... Sakura wins?" Iruka said after a few moments of stunned silence. Sakura blushed as she bashfully returned to where she was sitting and Iruka made sure Kiba was alright. Everyone crowded Sakura, asking her how she did that and calling her awesome. It looked like she was starting to enjoy the attention, at least from the smile she had. I hoped it wouldn't go to her head, though...

kukukuku~

I reclined on the sofa in my secret base's living room and opened up my compact. I could't see how our timeline would go down as far as the Uchiha Massacre yet, but from what I could see that still hadn't stopped being a thing. Foundation plants riling up the Uchiha police force, spreading gossip among the civilian population, and even outright _killing_ people on both sides and framing the others for it pretty much assured that. Even though Chikage was able to pick them off from and _into_ the shadows when nobody was looking with her new Claimed by the Shadows Jutsu (which allowed her to seal objects and even people in her shadow body), they just seemed to _keep coming_! And of course, while we were able to at least legally detain the insurgents, we couldn't interrogate them, even after I broke their seals. The brainwashing was strong with those guys, and even Yamanaka Inoichi couldn't break their psychic defenses. I guess they were the most prepared for that, having access to Yamanaka of their own...

The portal to the living room opened, and a moment later the Hokage stepped in. "Hokage," I said, then stylishly shut my compact. "Should I offer you something to drink?"

He grunted. "Kouki. What do you have?" I rolled off the couch and flew over to the minifridge.

"Right, let's see..." I opened the fridge and rifled through its contents. "I've got water, milk, chocolate milk, soda, juice, aaaand that's about it on the drinks. I could boil you some water but I don't have tea leaves or anything. Just hot chocolate."

"Is that all you have?"

"Okay in my defense, I don't like tea. And if you mean all I have period, because I recognize that judgy tone of voice, the big fridge over there contains _actual_ food." I pointed to it. "And yes, at the request of my parents that includes veggies. So what do you want?"

"I'll take a water, then." I grabbed a bottle of water for him and a bottle of chocolate milk for me, then went back to my couch. Sarutobi had taken a chair on the opposite side of the table from my couch. I tossed him the water, sat down, and took a sip of my milk.

"So..."

"It's not your fault, you know."

I shrugged. "It'd have happened without me, and I did manage to take out some Foundation stooges. Speaking of which..." I tossed three sleeved cards at him. The good thing about shuriken training was that I could also throw cards at people. "Today's catch."

He examined the three cards, though he made sure not to take them out of the opaque sleeves. "They're getting more active." The cards, by the way, had special seals in them that let me dump things Chikage caught, then remove the Chikage part of the shadows without destabilizing the jutsu. The sleeves kept them in shadow, which was needed to have the jutsu stay once Chikage left.

"I suspect at least some of them are trying to investigate the disappearances." I chuckled. "Danzō's whole 'no individuality' thing is actually biting him in that regard. Most of the Foundation that I've spirited away are nobodies, right?" He nodded. "So he can't use them against us without revealing his entire organization and incriminating himself. And the others have already gone 'missing,' thanks to him. That's the problem with having an organization in the shadows. You're likely to get eaten by a grue."

"Right, well... Are you okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"You've been trying to stop this for over a year now, and from the way things are going it looks like the massacre will still happen."

I shrugged. "This might sound bad, but... well, I've gotten over it? It's looking more and more like we can't prevent the Uchiha massacre no matter what. I mean, I haven't quite given up yet, but if we can't save Shisui then I'll hopefully be fine with just making the massacre not as bad as it could be."

"I see. I suppose your maturity is natural considering your ability to see the future."

I licked my lips. "And the fact that I have, like, seventy-two hour days."

"That too."

I got up and clapped my hands. "Right, unless you have anything else you need me for, I have to go work on homework."

"Congratulations again on getting a younger sister."

"Thanks."


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so I kinda had school stuff, so this might be a little late. Whoops.
> 
> And by the way, the song is Death on Two Legs (Dedicated To...) (Remastered 2011) by Queen. This was probably just the slightest bit self-indulgent, but isn't that what SIs are in the first place?
> 
> That being said, though, it was also really difficult...

I watched silently from the shadows as that giant idiot walked up to that shriney thing for Danzō to remove his eye even though we warned him about specifically that. Like an idiot. I was half-tempted to just scoop him up to safety, but then again this was our best chance to either kill or cripple Danzō, so against my better judgement I waited. I let the Hangéd Man walk up to the Tower his noose swung from.

"Danzō," Shisui said. "What do you want?"

"You're going to use your Kotoamatsukami on your clan, aren't you? You know that that won't stop the rebellion forever."

"The Hokage has promised to resolve the issue, we just need more time."

Danzō scoffed. "So, you'll use your eyes on anyone who gets on the way of your ideals? When will you use your eyes on me, I wonder?" Shisui's eyes widened as he understood what was happening. "I'll have to keep then for safekeeping, then," Danzō continued, before lunging for Shisui's eyes.

Shisui activated his eyes, stopping Danzō in his tracks. "Don't worry, it's just a genjutsu, you'll be fine in like an hour." He paused. "Of course, you can't hear me right now, so I have no idea why I'm telling you this." He shrugged and started to away.

Then Danzō disappeared. It was like the hundredth time I'd seen it (and unfortunately the last...) and it was always really entrancing to actually see and sense. In fact, I was so transfixed that I forgot to act when Danzō reappeared with his hand buried in Shisui's gut. Luckily, though, Past Me had already prepared for that. Before Danzō could punch him again, a seal burned on Shisui's hand, and a glass dagger appeared in his grasp. In the process of being unsealed, the dagger infused Shisui with some red chakra, allowing him to quickly dodge Danzō's other attacks. However, one of Danzō's flunkies appeared behind him and rabbit punched him, reinforcements showing up seconds behind the first guy. It looked like the red chakra prevented the blow from breaking that one vertebra that breaks when you do a good rabbit punch, but at the same time that used up the chakra... Danzō removed his bandage over his eye, just in time for Shisui to be the last thing that eye ever saw.

"Sharingan," Shisui growled. He raised the dagger.

Then dropped it when Danzō lunged at him much faster than he expected for a crippled old man to move. In his defense he didn't know that Danzō apparently already got his really creepy prosthetic. I'd always assumed that he got the eyes for it from the massacre, but I guess he also took them from the Uchiha he had his goons kill. It's disgusting, but at least he wasn't wasting them... Before I thought to intervene, Danzō shoved his hand into Shisui's eye socket, then pulled his eye out. I'd seen it enough times to be desensitized, but it was still gross.

I cursed, then activated the backup plan. Okay to be honest I really went all-out with the backup plan. A circle of blood-red light blazed into existence around the area, and I felt my power grow. As the illusory sound of a piano in arpeggio began to play, quiet at first but growing louder, I peeled myself out of the shadows, put on a black mask, and changed my hair color and style. My two tails disappeared as I pulled out a guitar and started to float in the air. "**_Go, I'll hold them off,_**" I sent a mental message to Shisui. I started playing some chords after the piano reached its peak, an eerie ambiance filling in the background. After a few discordant notes played not by another instrument, a sound almost like a plane set course to crash could be heard. Chakra rushed through me as it reached a deafening climax. The silence after was almost immediately broken by more piano, followed shortly by my guitar joining in. With each note I played, I sent out a wave of power that struck Danzō's minions. The power overwhelmed them right when I finished playing, giving me control over them.

"_Ah!_" my backup singers harmonized as they surrounded Danzō.

I sang, emphasizing the pauses between first four words: "**You... S****uck... M****y... B****lood like a leech! ****You break the law and you preach! Screw my brain 'till it hurts! You've taken-**"

The foundation minions I'd brainwashed took the next part. "-_aaall my moneeey-_"

"-**and you want more!**" I didn't sing for a few moments, my guitar-playing synchronized with the punches I had my thralls throw. "**Misguided old mule with your pigheaded rules, and your narrow-minded cronies who are-**"

"_-foo~oo~ools-_"

"**-of the first division!**" There was a woosh. "**Death on two legs! You're tearing me** **apaaaaart!**" Dun dah dun dah dun~. "**Death on two leeeeeegs! You never had a heaaaart! Of your own!**"

"_Killjoy! Bad guy! Big talking! Small fry!_"

"**You're just an old barrow boy, have you found a new toy, to replace me? Can you face me? But now you can kiss! My ass goodbye!**"

"_Feel good? Are you satisfied? Do you feel like? Suicide? I think you should!_"

"**Is your conscience all right, does it plague you at night? Do you feel good?**"

"_Feel gooood?_" I smiled under my mask as I began the next guitar solo. I flew around the arena we'd made, looking for... there! Just as the guitar solo ended, I descended, making it look like it was planned. "_Ah!_"

"**Talk like a biiig business tycoon! You're just a hot air balloon! So noone gives you a chance! You're just an-**"

"-_overgrown schoolboy!_"

"**Let me tan your hiiide! Dog with disease, you're the king of the sleaze! Put your money where your mouth is mister know-all! Was the fin on your back part of the deeeeal? Shark.**"

"_Death on two legs!_"

"**Tearing me apaaart!**"

"_Death on two leeeeeeegs!_"

"**You never had a heart!**"

"_Never did!_"

"**Of your oooooown!**"

"_Right from the start!_"

I smirked, and this time we sang together as the minions distracted Danzō. "**_INSANE! Should be put INSIDE! You're a SEWER RAT decaying in a CESSPOOL OF PRIDE!_**" Unknown to Danzō, a small whirlwind formed around a fallen blade, and it jumped to my hand.

The minions grabbed Danzō, preventing him from moving. "**Should be made unemployed, make yourself null and void, make me feel good!**" I charged, the glass blade glowing with an eerie red energy.

The seal around the area faded as the last note played. "_I feel gooooood!_" I drove the blade into him, making sure to stick the dagger through both his prosthetic arm and the seal on his chest. A seal made from minute bubbles in the glass activated, denaturing Danzō's dead-man switch seal into uselessness. A flare of red chakra extended from both blades, severing what little remained that held his arm together. The glass blade, now that its purpose was served, shattered. I willed the shards to dig into Danzō's body further, hoping to at least take out another of his eyes and screw up some of his organs.

I scooped up the severed, bandaged limb. "**I'm keeping this.**" I acted like it was more of a taunt than me stealing what was probably the most powerful severed hand on Konohagakure. As I walked away, the last dregs of my possession jutsu fading from the Foundation ninja, I formed a small blade of red chakra-based wind, barely more than a dart, and shot it at his unprotected neck. It probably wasn't a killshot on its own, but with the other things I did to him it couldn't be good. With my back to Danzō and his minions, I made a show of lifting my mask and _eating the hand_. I was actually sealing it up for later use, but I figured Danzō wouldn't worry about his hand's secret being revealed if he saw the person who took it destroying the evidence.

"Get... them..." he rasped. I smirked as my foot touched the shadows from the trees. Safe.

I turned around to see several hostile ninja staring at me. "**I wouldn't go after me if I were you,**" I said. "**If you leave me alone you might just be able to save your leader's life. If you don't, you'll be claimed by the shadows.**" I started to back up, my body slowly sinking into the shadows beneath my feet. One of the more bold of my enemies stepped foot on the shadows. A pure black seal flashed into being where his foot met the ground, and inky chains shot out of the ground, wrapping around him. "**I _did_ warn you**," I said as we both disappeared into the shadows.

kukukuku~

I sighed. Itachi turned around, showing me his new Mangekyō Sharingan. "You're gonna do it, aren't you?"

He stared at me.

"I know that that was very traumatic for you, and I'm sorry, but is there _any_ way I can't convince you to not do what we both know you're going to do? I'm sure the Foundation's in turmoil as we speak, if they haven't disbanded thanks to how there is like zero coordination aside from their leader."

He raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

I smirked. "You know about their tongue seals, right?"

He gave me a puzzled look, and his eyes deactivated. "Yes?"

"I destroyed the seal they were all linked to, which theoretically destroyed all of them."

"I... see." He was silent for a moment. "Perhaps it won't be necessary, but..."

I nodded. "Very well then. I'd prefer if you didn't, but, well..." I sat down and made a few seals. A picnic blanket appeared, followed by a pile of sweets. "Want some?"

He stared at my offering for a while. "...Why?"

I shrugged. "Well for one it looks like someone you loved just died, for one. And there's a good chance you'll be forced to kill your family soon."

He nodded lightly and sat down. "Thank you." He took the best of the candies...

kukukuku~

_Chikage_

Down the cliff, far enough that Itachi never noticed, a dark shadow had coalesced, and when Shisui fell past it a glob of darkness emerged from it and enveloped him. When the darkness retracted back into the shadow from whence it came, Shisui was missing.

kukukuku~

"So," I said, replaying the scene on the crystal ball. "Any remarks?" I asked as the start of the altered-but-still-unfortunately-happening Uchiha massacre played out before us.

Hiruzen frowned. "Not something I'd say in front of a child."

"I can see all. That includes swear words."

"Fine then." He loudly sighed. "I need a _fucking _smoke."

"Normally I would prefer you not smoke up my divination room, but this is a special circumstance. I'll open the portal back to your room if you need."

"No, that's fine. I'll wait until later."

I nodded, then pulled out a piece of chocolate. "Want one of these, then?"

"Thank you, Kouki-kun." I gave him the chocolate (and ate one myself). "If I may ask, how is Danzō doing? You said you injured him gravely, but clearly he is still alive."

I sighed and played a clip of Danzō using Izanagi from my memory. "I unfortunately missed two of his arm Sharingan, so he was able to heal himself. Good news, though." I played the rest of the clip, showing Danzō to investigate the arm I'd cut off, revealing it to still be missing, the Sharingan my glass shards cut simply not there. "He only has two Sharingan still. I think they didn't come back because I make liberal use of my own bastardized yin-yang release. I managed to snag the rest of his stock in the confusion, so the only thing we have to worry about is the fact that he got Kotoamatsukami."

"Hmm. And what about Shisui?"

"Stable," I said. I switched the crystal ball to show the present, at my infirmary. Shisui was unconscious, tucked into the one bed that I managed to get a good mattress for. He was glowing gold. "So either Danzō placed some kind of genjutsu on him or he passed out from the shock. Either way, he'll only be fully recovered after the massacre is over, even with the stuff I have him on..."

"Aren't his eyes missing?"

I snorted. "What do you take me for?" He groaned. "To be honest I'm kinda using him to test out a theory of mine..."

"Kouki, what did we say about human experimentation?"

"Oh," I said, then chuckled nervously. "Yeah that's a valid concern, I guess. Don't worry, it's mostly just me wondering what happens when you regrow Sharingan."

Hiruzen rubbed his temples. "Fine, I'll allow it." He frowned. "Are... are you okay?"

My mask probably slipped for a second. "Heh... You _are_ the Professor..." I sighed. "I'm fine, I've been mentally preparing for this for a while now." I waved my arm a bit. "Might be a different story tomorrow, but... Don't worry, I'm ready to do what I have to do."

"You don't have to, though. You've already done enough, and it seems you won't be able to prevent the Uchiha from dying..."

I shrugged. "I'll consider tomorrow a success if I save even _one_ more person, and I'm also hoping to make Sasuke not be so single-minded in his need for vengeance." I gestured at the portal I'd made that connected to Sarutobi's room and made it open. "Now if you'll please leave. I need to sleep to prepare or tomorrow."

Sarutobi sighed. "I worry for you sometimes, boy..." He left, though.

I laughed sadly. "I worry about myself sometimes, too... And I don't think I count as a 'boy'..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so I don't know if it's the whole thing with the virus or school or just what I'm about to have to write, but I'm not feeling motivated to do this fic at the moment? I promise I won't abandon it, though. I always hate when fics die when they're right in the middle of something spicy, so I absolutely plan on finishing this thing. Eventually.


	19. Chapter 19

Okay so after a lot of thought and some introspection, I decided I'd like to rewrite this a bit, make the writing a bit better and stuff (though honestly it's probably still gonna be a bit self-indulgent, but to fair I think that's kinda the point of self-insert fanfiction?). Honestly it's probably going to be more like revising it, though, so once I get myself started it shouldn't take too long. The only problem is actually getting started... Also I'm not gonna take down the original cut because who knows who might wanna read it for curiosity or something, but it's dead so don't expect any more updates. Figured I'd put this here just as a heads up.

That being said, I don't suppose anyone has any suggestions for what to name the reboot? I don't want it to just be I Would Totally Kick Jiraiya's Butt (rewrite), buut I don't really have any other ideas...


	20. Chapter 20

New fic's up, under the name Foresight is 20/20. Honestly probably most of the reason why I thought of that first was a joke because of how horrible 2020 has been... after I got a few suggestions saying something not related to Jiraiya, of course. Don't know why it didn't occur to me that I could name it something not related to Jiraiya...


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